$ Lies, Lies, And More Lies: Why Habitual Liars Can't Stop

Habitual Liars And Their Agendas

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Habitual liarsย lie to feel better about themselves and more confident in general. Almost always they have an ulterior motive and personal agenda for lying and deceiving other people.

Habitual Liars

Someย disturbed characters are habitual liars.

They habituallyย deceive not only others but also themselves.

And they lie about manyย things. Moreover, someย lieย so frequently and so ardently that they even come to believe their own lies. Habitual liarsย can eventually lose appreciation for whatโ€™s real and what isnโ€™t.

Habitualย lying severelyย interferes withย sound character development. Thatโ€™s why habitual liarsย are among the most seriously disordered characters. And folksย who โ€œconโ€ repeatedly and with apparent passion and conviction can cause others to experienceย theย gaslightingย effect. (Victims of โ€œgaslightingโ€ feel โ€œcrazyโ€ because in their hearts they know something to be trueย but their manipulatorโ€™s antics and tactics make themย doubt)

Related: Top 9 Important Things You Should Know About Liars

โ€œPathologicalโ€ Lyingโ€

Some habitual liars are what many callย โ€œpathologicalโ€ liars. Thatโ€™s because they lie for no apparent reason. Theyโ€™re untruthful even at timesย when the truth would suffice or might actually serve them better. Because they were perplexedย by its senseless irrational character, some researchers have regarded this kind of lying as a typeย of mental illness or even insanity.

But theseย liars are not insane.

Rather, they belong toย aย group of theย mostย severely disordered characters among usย (i.e.ย psychopaths, sociopaths, etc.). And theyโ€™re perfectly rational. Thereโ€™sย a โ€œmethodโ€ to their apparent โ€œmadness.โ€

Lying: Theย Ultimate Manipulation Tactic

Manipulators donโ€™t want you to know what theyโ€™re really all aboutย or what theyโ€™re up to. Itโ€™s as simple as that. They lie to keepย one-up on you and a step ahead of you. Of course, theyย lie for other reasons, too. Butย mainly they lie because it gives them anย advantage or an edge.

If you knew what they were really like or really doing the โ€œplaying fieldโ€ would be level. Youโ€™d also haveย a better chance to properlyย take up for yourself. Manipulators donโ€™t want that. Theyโ€™d ratherย you be in the dark and second-guessing. They deceive simply toย take advantage of you.

The Psychological Toll Of Deception

Hundreds have told me stories about relationship partners who led โ€œdouble lives.โ€ They eventually exposed these partners for the disturbed characters and frauds they really were. But that was only after they found their bank accounts were already cleaned out. Or perhaps they brought to light affairs that were going on for years. Maybe they finally proved false the many stories theyโ€™d been told.

Victims of such duplicitous behavior often wonder how they got โ€œdupedโ€ for so long. Were they too swayed by their partnerโ€™s charm to see the truth about them? Was their partner really different in the beginning but changed somehow and for some unknown reason? Worse, they even wonder if they might have played a part in bringing about a change.

Related: How To Spot Manipulation

The Truth Is Sometimes Hard To Fathom And Accept

Manipulation victims rarely consider that there are simply some people who by nature wonโ€™t allowย the vulnerability essential to an equal partnership.

Right from the beginning, such folks areย all about the business ofย positionย andย impression management. Theyโ€™re forever scoping out opportunities, exploiting vulnerabilities, and seeking advantage. Aย victimโ€™s guts might churnย at all the โ€œred flags.โ€

But they tend to discount their instincts andย feelings. Thatโ€™s because theyย find it unfathomable that there could actually be people like this.ย They canโ€™tย imagine a personย so hell-bent on maintaining a position of advantage that they carefully cloak their true nature andย agendas.

Related: How to Deal With a Compulsive Liar: 9 Effective Compulsive Lying Treatment Techniques for Peaceful Relationships

Realizing and accepting the truth can be painful in itself. Many victims struggle with shame, guilt after learning how badly theyโ€™d been conned. Sometimes, they even question their ability to make good judgments. Surviving a relationship with a habitual or pathological liar can leave you feeling both unnerved and confused. But when you understand the nature of character disturbance, things get better.

Moreover, once you accept that some folks simply lack the capacity (or willingness) to relate on equal, respectful terms you can reclaim a sense of personal integrity and self-respect.

Folks can contact the author best by going to the blog atย Dr.ย Georgeย Simonย โ€“ Author, Public Speaker, Consultant, Character Development Coach, Composerย and using the โ€œContact Dr.ย Simonโ€ tab on the contact page.


Written by Dr. George Simon
Originally appeared in Dr. George Simon
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