Do Opposites Really Attract And Is That A Problem?

Written By:

Written By:

Do Opposites Really Attract 1

The introvert falls for the extrovert. The one who loves to save marries the one who loves to shop. The “glass half full” kind of person finds their “glass half empty” partner. Are these relationships destined to thrive—or doomed to fail?

When Opposites Attract

Magnets—sure. But as far as human relationships go, the idea that “opposites attract” seems to be little more than an interesting pop culture myth that bears no real scientific weight. On the contrary, research suggests it’s a couple’s similarities that are more likely to predict compatibility and long-term success, says Psychology Today.

Of course, we all know what it’s like to date someone who seems like our mirror opposite in certain ways—surely the idea that “opposites attract” has some truth to it.

Then again, this could just be a matter of perspective. Perhaps we’re more likely to notice traits in our partners—both negative and positive ones—that we haven’t fully accepted within ourselves. This makes these traits “stand out” and helps us build the story that we are total “opposites” of our partners.

No matter the truth behind the “opposites attract” theory, there’s no question that any couple is going to face occasional conflict because of opposing views, temperaments, or preferences. The question is: can a couple still make it work when they have fundamental differences?

Related: How and Why Opposites Attract In Relationships According to Astrology

3 Ideas For A Healthy Relationship With Your Fundamentally Different Partner

1. Be Clear About Your Values

You don’t have to agree with your partner about everything in order to have a healthy relationship, but it’s helpful if you at least agree about the “big” things. Big things include topics like basic world views, money, sexual intimacy, in-law relationships, and child-rearing. When partners share common ground about these important topics, they’ll have a much more solid foundation upon which to build their relationship.

It’s never too soon to discuss values. Better to put things on the table early rather than invest time and energy into a relationship only to discover your values, goals, and interests are diametrically opposed—e.g., one person wants children and the other doesn’t.

It’s also wise to regularly revisit and discuss your values as your relationship unfolds since values can change over time. Keeping clear and honest communication will help you negotiate any future turbulence.

opposites attract relationships

2. Choose Your Battles

When you see your partner acting differently than you would pay close attention to how you react. Is this action (or inaction) truly something worth getting upset over? If it’s not a deal-breaker, don’t let it ruin your day. (“Don’t sweat the small stuff.”) Decide what you are both willing to compromise on in your relationship without repressing your true selves.

And by all means: stand up for yourself. Example: “Honey, I know how much you love to talk and catch up at the end of the day, but I need a few minutes to myself when I get home to unwind. Can I meet you at the kitchen table in ten minutes?” Healthy partners are perfectly willing to respect boundaries—just don’t create so many boundaries and rules that you end up stifling your relationship.

Related: The 4 Elements Of Attraction According To Psychology

3. Practice Acceptance

Our partners’ differences are gifts when we see them as opportunities to grow emotionally and practice acceptance.

Here are a few strategies to help you accept your partner for who they really are:

1. Question any story you attach to your partner’s behaviors and watch for when you make assumptions about their intentions, as these assumptions could be false. Example: “When he’s late, does that actually mean he doesn’t respect me? Is that true? What else could be going on?”

2. Find humor: humor is immensely powerful and can diffuse those moments when you butt heads over the cleanliness of the house, the weekend plans, and other areas of daily life that often come into conflict when partners have different preferences. You may not agree, but if you can laugh about the situation it may feel less challenging.

3. See the benefits of your partner’s way of doing or thinking about things, even if it’s different from yours. For a useful exercise, write down these benefits in a journal.

4. Accept your own traits—the positive and negative ones. Our reaction to others is often just projected discomfort over our own traits that we see reflected back to us. The more we accept and appreciate ourselves, the easier it is to hold that energy for our partners.

Concluding Thoughts

In the end, most couples have a wide range of similarities and differences—but for long-term success, their temperaments should ideally be complementary, if not the exact same.

Related: Why Introverts And Extroverts Attract Each Other

This doesn’t mean being “polar opposites” in certain things is a death sentence for a relationship, like what happens when a super introvert marries a super extrovert. But it could be that you and your fundamentally different partner will need to put in a bit more effort to find some equanimity and acceptance in your relationship.


Written By April Eldemire  
Originally Appeared On Couples Thrive  
Do Opposites Really Attract pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Romance, Roast And Giggles: 50+ Best Relationship Jokes

Best Relationship Jokes That Prove Love is Hilarious!

Love is a rollercoaster, and when you have an arsenal of the best relationship jokes, it makes the ride even more fun! Be it a new romance, a long-term relationship, or you simply just adore some corny love jokes, these hilarious couple jokes will have you cracking up.

From dating disasters to hilarious marriage moments, relationships come with plenty of comedy material. Because let’s be honest—love isn’t always candlelit dinners and sweet texts. Sometimes, it’s forgetting anniversaries, stealing blankets, and arguing over where to eat.

So, hold on to your partner right, and enjoy these funny jokes about love!

Up Next

Break Up On Valentines Day? 16 Self-Care Tips When You’ve Been Un-Valentined

Break Up On Valentines Day? Self-Care Tips When You've Been Un-Valentined

The ultimate love fest is around the corner. For some, it’s the best day of the year, but for others, it’s when things fall apart. If you’ve had a break up on valentines day or before, we’ll give you some tips on how to mend your broken heart.

A breakup on the big day or before it, can feel like your entire world is falling apart and to be honest, it’s the loneliest feeling ever because every tv commercial and nook and corner is filled with couples or about love.

So, we’ve got your back with a roadmap for handling break up on Valentine’s day and even thriving after. But before that let me tell you that this situation is not something you’ll face alone, there are many more people who’ve got their heart broken as well…

You’re Not

Up Next

7 Best On-Screen Couples Ranked by How Likely They Are to Stay Together

Best On-Screen Couples Ranked: Which Pair Will Last Forever?

Love on screen is pure magic. The stolen glances, the grand gestures, the dramatic reunions in the pouring rain—it’s the kind of romance that makes our hearts race and our eyes misty. But let’s be honest, not all of these couples would actually last if they had to deal with, you know, real life. Bills? Stress? That annoying habit of leaving wet towels on the bed? Some of them would crumble faster than a rom-com breakup montage.

That’s why we’re taking a closer look at the best on-screen couples ranked —but not just by chemistry or cuteness. No, no. We’re going deeper. Who would actually survive the test of time? Who would fight over the thermostat and call it quits? And who would grow old together, still making each other laugh after all these years?

Some love stories are built to last. Others? Well… let’s just say they be

Up Next

40+ Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That Will Leave Him Cracking Up

Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That'll Crack Him Up

If you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship, and fill your conversations with humor and laughter, then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to do a deep dive into some of the best and funny questions to ask your boyfriend.

Whether you’re looking for funny questions to ask your partner during a road trip, a lazy Sunday, or just to break the ice, a little humor goes a long way. After all, who doesn’t love a good laugh?

If you want to tease his goofy side, and get him to wrack his mind in ridiculously funny ways, then this list of questions will surely do the trick.

When it comes to funny questions to ask your partner to make him laugh, this is one of the sneaky ways to also get to know him better – his

Up Next

What Really Predicts Relationship Satisfaction?

Relationship Satisfaction Important Things To Know

Does good communication truly determine relationship satisfaction, or are there deeper factors at play? Let’s explore the truth behind long-term happiness between partners.

The paradox of communication.

Key points

Timing and context matter as much as communication itself.

Simply improving communication might not be enough.

Mutual goals strengthen relationship satisfaction.

Up Next

Is the Romance Gone? What to Do When Your Partner Feels Like a Roommate

Does Your Partner Feels Like a Roommate? Here’s How to Fix It

When your partner feels like a roommate, the spark can start to fizzle, leaving the relationship stuck in autopilot. But don’t worry—there are plenty of ways to deal with emotional distance and bring back the excitement.

KEY POINTS

When partners feel like roommates, it’s a sign of a pattern of mutual emotional withdrawal.

Instead of leaning on each other, partners have been going to their separate corners, being hyper-independent.

To break this pattern, partners need to learn to take emotional risks: sharing their feelings and needs.

Withdrawing behavior is

Up Next

Which Romance Trope Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

Which Romance Trope Are You? Zodiac Romantic Love Tropes

Valentine’s Day 2025 will soon be here, so have you wondered which romance trope are you like? Your zodiac sign might lead you to your perfect love story. Let’s explore!

Maybe you’re a passionate love, or perhaps a slow burn that evolves into something beautiful over time? Each zodiac sign has its own set of traits that align with some of the most beloved romance tropes.

From forbidden attraction, or the classic “opposites attract”, there’s a love story that mirrors your zodiac essence. So, what romance trope are you? Let’s dive into the stars and see the zodiac signs as romance tropes!

Read More Here: