Author: sandip


  • The Type Of Man You Deserve (Based On Your Zodiac Sign)

    Everyone has a type when it comes to being in love and relationships, even though you might not always realize it at times. The good news is that astrology can make it easier for you to understand the type of man you deserve to have in your life.

    For when you need a little extra help. Trying to find a guy who is compatible with your zodiac sign is like trying to find a serious relationship on Tinder. Most of the time, the men you come across just want that one thing — or aren’t looking for anything serious at all. But even if you found a guy who was cute and not too full of himself, how do you know that you won’t get sick of him after a few weeks? Well, you don’t know.

    You might not believe in astrology all that much, but you can’t deny that you’ve read about your sign a few times and thought, “hmm, yeah that does sound like me!” Learning about your sign and how it’s compatible with the other ones can be super eye-opening. You might not realize that some signs are better off looking for a significant other who is the exact opposite of them. Other times, a sign just wants someone who is just as laid back as them because they are already easy-going people.

    Let’s face it; you already know what you’re looking for in a boyfriend. Maybe you want someone who’s funny and will spend the day making you laugh your hearts out. Maybe you’d rather have a guy spoil you with gifts and romantic day trips for the two of you. No matter what kind of man you are looking for, one thing is for sure — you deserve the best of the best. And sometimes that means getting to know the guy before you actually know the guy.

    So what does that mean for you?

    That means matching your favorite qualities in a guy with what your sign is looking for (i.e. comparing your crush’s personality with your own zodiac sign — for science, of course). Don’t worry, we don’t judge here. But we do think that astrology knows what’s up when it comes to love.

    So take a look at the kind of guy you should be looking for… the type of man you really deserve.

    The Type Of Man You Deserve (Based On Your Zodiac Sign)

    1. Aries (March 21 – April 19)

    The Intellectual Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Aries are fiercely independent and logical creatures. They love being on their own and being deep thinkers.

    They’re looking for a man who will indulge them in intellectual conversations often. They also love partners who are confident and honest; Aries doesn’t have time for bullshit.

    Related: Aries Personality: 15 Things You Need To Know About The Ram Sign

    2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

    The Strong-Willed Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Taurus is one of the most indulgent signs; they love their guilty pleasures. When they are in a relationship, Taurus is a very committed partner. Taurus wants a man who is all about romance and passion. They also want someone who can hold their own; nothing is more attractive to them than a man who is strong-willed.

    Related: 10 Secrets About Taurus You Probably Know Nothing About

    3. Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

    The Honest Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Gemini is all about trying new things. They are adventurous and social, so they will always expect you to keep up with them, no matter what the situation demands.

    A Gemini will be on the lookout for a man who speaks his mind without beating around the bush, but can also be playful and funny.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of The Misunderstood Gemini

    4. Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

    The Kind-Hearted Man

    the type of man you deserve

    No one is more kind-hearted and sensitive than a Cancer (except maybe Pisces). They always want what’s best for you in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can take advantage of them

    Cancer is looking for a man who is just like them; someone who is honest, sincere, and capable of being on their own, as well as in a healthy relationship.

    Related: 12 Personality Traits Of Cancer, The Cardinal Water Sign

    5. Leo (July 23 – August 22)

    The Flirty Man

    the type of man you deserve

    A Leo is all about loyalty and being motivated. If their significant other doesn’t have either of these traits, then their relationship will fall apart fast.

    Leo will look for a man who is straightforward like himself. They’re not always seriousness though; a Leo also wants a partner who is generous and knows how to flirt.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Leo, The Untamed Fire Sign

    6. Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

    The Patient Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Virgos are one of the most thoughtful and mysterious signs. They are never quick to open up to others, which can sometimes make new relationships difficult.

    This is why Virgo is always looking for a man who is patient with them; if he can wait it out, Virgo will make it all worth it. They are also looking for someone who is down to earth and supportive of their choices; Virgo spends a lot of time being introspective.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Virgo, The Mercurial Earth Sign

    7. Libra (September 23 – October 22)

    The Loyal Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Libra is known for being very headstrong. This can mean that they are either being stubborn or motivated, and it all lies in who they’re dealing with. Libra is also very logical, which means they are always analyzing situations.

    A man who is loyal and adaptable is a great fit for Libra because it plays off of some of their best traits. Libra also wants someone who is great with communication and won’t try to be vague about important things.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Libra, The Idealistic Air Sign

    8. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

    The Passionate Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Scorpios are extremely intense. They sometimes get themselves in trouble because they would rather do something frivolous first and think about the consequences later.

    Men who can match a Scorpio’s passion will create a deep bond with them early on. Scorpio is also looking for someone who is fun and patient with them, especially when they start trouble for themselves. It takes time to get them to trust others.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Scorpio, The Ambitious Water Sign

    9. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

    The Sensual Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Sagittarius is both adventurous and easygoing. They will jump at the chance to try something new, but they also don’t mind hanging out with their significant other at home.

    Sagittarius loves men who are sensual and can use humor to break the tension. They also need someone who is active like they are or they’ll end things fast.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Sagittarius, The Fiery Archer Sign

    10. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

    The Hard-Working Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Capricorns are smart and serious individuals, which is why they want a man who can be not-so-serious at times. They do appreciate partners who are similar to themselves, too, because it helps them connect with others on a deeper level.

    A Capricorn will look for a man who is very hard-working (and fun-loving, of course). They also want to feel a sense of security in a relationship; it’ll help them focus more on the fun things in a relationship!

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Capricorn, The Disciplined Soul

    11. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

    The Charming Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Aquarius is very creative, which is why a relationship with them is so intense. They love using their smarts in and out of the bedroom, which makes them great partners for other adventurous signs.

    An Aquarius looks for men who are charming and passionate people. They also want someone who is sociable because it makes them feel more confident with themselves.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Aquarius, The Progressive Air Sign

    12. Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

    The Romantic Man

    the type of man you deserve

    Pisces are emotional and introspective individuals, and they know how to use that to their advantage. They don’t often take shit from others, but they know how to be honest with you when something is bothering them.

    They want a relationship with someone who is compassionate and thoughtful, just like them. Pisces also appreciates a little daily romance, so don’t be afraid to show off your sensual side once in a while.

    Related: 10 Personality Traits Of Pisces, The Gentle Water Sign

    So, what is your zodiac sign? And what kind of man do you deserve? Let us know in the comment down below!


    Originally appeared on Yourtango 
    Written by Emily Ratay
    the type of man you deserve
    The Type Of Man You Deserve (Based On Your Zodiac Sign)
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    the type of man you deserve
  • 9 Tiny-Yet-Toxic Relationship Habits That Kill Your Relationship

    Certain toxic relationship habits slither through the cracks, poisoning the love and trust that once thrived. Learn what these habits are before they leave a devastating scar.

    While cheating is commonly regarded as one of the most destructive acts in a relationship, there exists an even more insidious force capable of silently killing the very foundation of any relationship.

    What is worse than cheating in a relationship?

    The day to day negative interactions show how selfish we can act, how cold we can be, and how unfair we can treat our partner. Basically, prioritizing our own self-benefit, in spite of the fact that it’s sabotaging our partner’s needs.

    Related: If You Cheat On Your Partner, You Do Not Love Your Partner. Period.

    The problem starts when a couple starts practicing constant negative interaction, and tenacious negative thoughts about their partner as selfish, unsupportive, or even dismissive of our own needs.

    As coined by Dr. John Gottman (a leading researcher in the field of psychology and relationships), this behavior on the part of one or both members of a couple leads to “daily despair,” which doesn’t allow for any time for recuperation and repair of the relationship.

    This can cause it to lose “its special meaning,” and ultimately feel replaceable.

    Eventually, people might tell themselves that let’s ignore the issue, instead of risking a fight. But it becomes dangerous when the couple starts ignoring issues and starts comparing our partner to others.

    Let’s find out how to recognize this relationship killing pointers in your own relationship?

    9 Toxic Relationship Habits That Are Worse Than Cheating

    Relationship Habits More Harmful Than Cheating

    1. Never Saying ‘Thank You’

    Not saying “thank you” or “please” within a relationship can have detrimental effects. It is essential for individuals to feel appreciated and valued. When gratitude is expressed, it positively impacts their state of mind and enhances overall dynamics.

    Toxic Relationship Habits

    It is not necessary to excessively shower praise, but a simple “thank you” can go a long way in acknowledging the efforts of our partners.

    Related: In Today’s Relationships, We Cheat On Each Other Literally Every Day

    2. Taken for granted and being way too comfortable

    Being taken for granted and becoming excessively comfortable occur when people cease to invest effort in a relationship. They become negligent in their appearance and fail to maintain grooming habits.

    Moreover, they grow complacent in their work and lose their motivation, presuming that their partner will love them unconditionally.

    toxic relationship habits

    While it is acceptable to feel at ease with someone and evolve from the initial stages of a relationship, completely assuming unconditional love can lead to complacency.

    Things get worse when one person, or both people, stop putting any effort in at all. If you both are in a boring routine life because you’ve just become complacent with each other, that’s not good!

    You have to keep doing new things for each other and once in a while putting in the effort you did in the beginning. You must rekindle the fire once in a while.

    Related: It Isn’t Love – It Is Narcissistic Abuse

    3. Absence of Trust

    Lack of trust profoundly damages relationships. It is undeniably true and crucially important. Trust stands as a foundational pillar in any relationship, playing a pivotal role in its long-term success.

    Without mutual trust, a relationship is bound to falter. Trust acts as a powerful balm, nurturing and sustaining the bond between individuals.

    4. Always Being hooked with Your Phone

    Constantly being engrossed in your phone while spending time with your partner is one of the most unhealthy relationship habits that should be avoided. It’s important to be present and engaged in the moment, rather than being absorbed in your digital world.

    5. Not Being Affectionate

    Withholding affection can be detrimental to a relationship. While some individuals require affection for emotional well-being, others struggle to function without it.

    6. Acting Arrogant Towards Each Other

    This can be really harmful as it tears apart your self-esteem. Being treated condescendingly is horrible. Mutual respect is very important. Don’t constantly speak down to each other, you are partners!

    7. Lack Of Communication

    Insufficient communication is one of the toxic relationship habits that cause of numerous challenges. Remarkably, about 95% of these issues can be effectively resolved if individuals invest the time and effort to express their thoughts and emotions clearly.

    toxic relationship habits

    Effective communication is a two-way street – active listening and genuine interest in the other person’s point of view. By valuing their input and acknowledging their emotions, you can foster a sense of validation and strengthen the trust within the relationship.

    Related: 21 Must-Ask Questions For A New Relationship: Best Ways To Get To Know Your Partner

    8. Lying About Small Things

    Dishonesty, even when it involves trivial matters, can have a cumulative effect, leaving one wondering about the extent of the deception and prompting questions like, “What other things might they be hiding?”

    9. Waiting Forever To Discuss Anger

    Rather than harboring anger and frustration, it is crucial to promptly communicate with your partner when something is bothering you.

    Waiting until you reach a boiling point only nurtures bitterness and resentment, intensifying the situation unnecessarily. By expressing your concerns in a timely manner, you can prevent the issue from escalating into a bigger ordeal.

    Related: 10 Dumb Relationship Issues Smart Couples Should Quit Giving A Second Thought

    No relationship is perfect; it’s important to be realistic about expectations and acknowledge that disagreements are normal. However, it is crucial to actively foster trust and avoid negative behaviors like dismissiveness, selfishness, and manipulation.

    Once certain actions take place, there may be no going back. Therefore, consciously shape the destiny of your relationship by prioritizing trust-building and steering clear of harmful behaviors.

    Let me know your thoughts about the worst habits in a relationship in the comments. And, feel free to share the post with your friends.

    Related video on toxic habits in a relationship:


    9 Relationship Habits That Are More Harmful Than Cheating
    Relationship Habits That Are More Harmful Than Cheating Pin
    unhealthy relationship habits
  • 8 Signs You Have An Unhealthy Attachment To Social Media

    You know you have an unhealthy attachment to social media, when you find yourself scrolling mindlessly, whenever you get the chance.

    Here Are 8 Signs You Have An Unhealthy Attachment To Social Media

    1. You get your news from Facebook.

    That’s, well, scary. And dangerous. And ill-advised. And not the point of the website. Pick up a newspaper or turn on the actual news. Read more, scroll less.

    2. You are incapable of sitting still without an electronic device plastered to your hand.

    You will be ok if you don’t have your phone with you all the time. It’s ok to go for a walk without your phone. You can wait in line without social media as your companion. You don’t have to check in with other people when your own life is happening all around you. Boredom will not kill you – it’s ok to be still.

    Related: The Unwanted and Often Unavoidable Damages Social Media Has In Our Lives

    3. The first thing you do in the morning is to go on Facebook.

    Or Instagram. Or twitter. Or whatever platform makes you lose all sense of time and space for an hour or two. And yes, you do lose that much time. You probably lose more. Perhaps you could say hello to the ones you live with before you start your daily scroll. Do you make coffee before you jump into social media? Or are you not even caffeinated before you start your scroll?

    4. Instead of going to bed whenever you crawl under the covers – you reach for the phone and start scrolling.

    And before you know it, you’re going to bed a half-hour, an hour, two hours later than you had intended. And then when you wake up in the morning, you’re cranky, because you didn’t get a proper amount of sleep. You didn’t even get good sleep. Put down the phone before you go to bed. If you want to read before you go to sleep – grab a book.

    5. Envy starts bubbling up like a bad meal that will not go away.

    You begin playing that comparison game, and you don’t even realize it. But it comes swiftly, and it packs a punch, too. Like when you start telling yourself that everyone is in love. Or everyone is having a baby. Or everyone has more money than you, and more success than you, and more happiness than you. They don’t. Social media is a curated reel. People post what they want you to see – don’t forget that.

    Related: How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 5 Effective Strategies

    6. You need to post everything on social media all the time.

    You don’t need to post every single highlight of your life on the internet. You don’t have to post the mundane things, either. You don’t have to post at all. It’s ok to share your joys, and it’s ok to keep them private for a while. Just because you didn’t post it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You’re allowed to keep whatever you want close to your vest.

    7. You know about the lives of your loved ones not because you spend time with them, or have a conversation with them, or call them to see how they’re doing – but because of what they post on social media.

    If you want to get in touch with your cousins – call them. Invite them to your home. If you want to know what your child is doing when they’re at college – ask them. If you’re going to cultivate a relationship with your loved ones that are plane rides away, utilize Skype to your advantage. Mail them a card. It’s easy to show up on social media – but it can be empty, too. Go the extra mile to let the ones you love know that you love them. Dig beyond the things that they post – and ask questions about what’s going on in their lives.

    8. You look at your screens more than you look at the faces of the ones who surround you.

    Stop scrolling, and posting, and engaging in the comments section of whatever is sucking your time. There’s nothing wrong with having discussions – have them in real life.

     Additional writing by Megan Minutillo can be found at meganminutillo.com and @Megan Minutillo


    Written By Megan Minutillo
    Originally Appeared On Thought Catalog

    Being on social media and enjoying its perks is nothing to feel guilty about, but if you develop an addiction towards it, and end up having an unhealthy attachment to social media, you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Too much of anything is always a bad thing. So, cut down the time you spend scrolling on your phone, and you will instantly feel better and will find a lot of time for doing things that are actually important.

    Signs Unhealthy Attachment Social Media Pin
  • 5 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’ve Caught Your Spouse Cheating

    If you have ever caught your spouse cheating, then before you take the next step, make sure that you ask yourself certain questions.

    For many marriages, affair recovery is possible. Is yours one of them?

    Did you just catch your spouse cheating? If so, your marriage is in crisis and you are likely left feeling as if one of your worst fears has come true. You’re also wondering if you should stay or go. This isn’t the time to act on impulse but to slow down and carefully consider your options.  

    There are many sources explaining the reasons why men and women cheat as well as tips on how to fix your broken relationship or save your marriage after finding evidence that your husband or wife is having an affair. But how do you decide what to do about it and whether you should get a divorce or work on forgiving your spouse after they’ve been caught cheating?

    Increasing your knowledge about the many dimensions of infidelity can help empower you to have the kind of marriage you desire after one spouse has cheated. It’s important to find out the specific reasons this betrayal happened, who they cheated with, and the nature of the affair, i.e., whether it’s emotional, physical, or a combination of the two. While sexual dissatisfaction is certainly one of the multitudes of reasons why people cheat, the primary reason cited by both men and women is actually emotional dissatisfaction, identifying issues such as not feeling desired or appreciated, a lack of communication, or feeling as though they have differing values.

    Nonetheless, if you’re one of the people whose partner has been caught cheating, here are the most important questions to ask yourself before deciding whether to divorce or forgive your partner.

    Here Are 5 Questions You Should Ask Yourself If You’ve Caught Your Spouse Cheating

    1. Does your spouse have a parent and/or close friends who have cheated?

    If the answer is yes, don’t underestimate how this influences your spouse. A message can get internalized that cheating is acceptable or just a part of “everyday life.”

    You also want to watch for your partner spending time, especially nights out, with known cheaters. It wouldn’t be a good idea to try to entirely control your spouse, but he or she should be responsive to your concerns. If this behavior continues, a cheater will be at risk for ongoing improprieties.

    Related: 9 Certain Traits of Untrustworthy People

    2. Is your spouse good at compartmentalizing?

    “Compartmentalization” is a defense mechanism that people use to separate internally conflicting thoughts from one another. People generally have a tendency to compartmentalize parts of their lives so they can better control them and cope with life’s stressors. For example, we may act a certain way at our jobs, another way with friends, and yet a different way with family.

    If your spouse tends to compartmentalize, this could be a serious red flag.

    Many successful people use compartmentalization to get ahead, but unfortunately, sociopaths are also known to be exceptionally good at compartmentalizing. This isn’t to say that your spouse is a sociopath; however, you need to understand what mechanisms allow someone to have sex with their co-worker on a desk at the office, then sit with you at the dinner table and act as if everything is perfectly normal.

    3. Does your spouse show guilt and genuine remorse for having the affair?

    From what I’ve seen in my practice treating many couples over many years, most cheaters really do feel guilty and remorseful about their affairs. However, this will not necessarily stop the cheating behavior. Some people don’t feel the least bit regretful; some may see the affair as the justifiable ramifications of a bad marriage.

    If your partner falls in the “not feeling remorseful” category, taking him or her back is ill-advised.

    The cheater must see their fault or this person will never be able to connect with you emotionally and honestly. Even with a “bad marriage,” the accountability was still on your partner to problem-solve appropriately (seek therapy, talk to clergy). You should also hear the person verbalize sincere, genuine, and copious apologies.

    Related: 15 Surprising Things You Didn’t Know About Cheating in Relationships

    4. Are you completely certain that the affair is over?

    If your spouse remains involved with the other person on any level, then it isn’t completely over and you will never be able to move forward.

    There must be NO CONTACT.

    No Facebook friendship, no texts, no phone calls, no working together, no anything. Your spouse should be able to prove this to you beyond any doubt by being utterly transparent.

    5. Is your relationship damaged beyond repair from this affair?

    In some cases, it isn’t advisable to take back a cheater. If you aren’t married and don’t have children together, it may be best to go your separate ways after an affair. In addition, be warned that some people will continue to cheat whether or not they’re satisfied with their marriage. If this is the case, such a person is likely unable to stay faithful. It’s also imperative to find out if the cheating is a onetime affair or a pattern of multiple affairs.

    It’s possible to rebound from an affair and have a happy marriage.

    Related: Before You Cheat On Her Know This

    If you’re able to clearly sift through the concerns listed and decide to work it out, it’s critical that you pursue marriage therapy together in order to work through the unfaithfulness. The goals of affair recovery therapy should be to work on forgiveness, re-build trust, and create a strong emotional connection.

    Also, each person should be able to discuss their thoughts and feelings clearly and openly in regard to the transgression. If you do decide to take back a spouse after an affair, you must make a conscious decision to move forward and not remain stuck in that space between being bitter and forgiving. Only then can your marriage recover from infidelity.

    Does your marriage need help? I’m Dr. Marni Feuerman, a licensed marriage therapist with specialized training in affair recovery. Feel free to reach out to me for help.


    Written By Marni Feuerman
    Originally Appeared In The Talking Solution

    Cheating is always a painful thing to experience, and moving on from it is sometimes easier said than done. When you have caught your spouse cheating, do not make any decisions in haste; stop for a moment and ask yourself these questions, and focus on answering them honestly. It is only when you are genuinely satisfied with the answers, take them back. Otherwise, put yourself first and decide what works for you.

    Ask Yourself Caught Spouse Cheating Pin
  • The Top 6 Rude Zodiac Signs

    “Being rude is better than being a fake nice person.” – this is probably how the rude zodiac signs see the world!

    But when you are at the receiving end of rude behavior, it can leave you feeling muddled, uncomfortable, and completely devastated! 

    Haven’t we all encountered that rude bartender at a club who attends to your friends but ignores you- so embarrassing! 

    The reverse situation is also very common- if you’re in a line of work where you have to interact with customers directly, you probably deserve an award for not punching the rude ones you have to deal with daily!

    During transit, you’ll encounter those rude drivers who throw caution to the wind, honk needlessly, and break the speed limit.

    The worst is when you are trying to say something, but the other person knowingly ignores you! So manipulative! Not cool at all!

    Nevertheless, some people are inherently good at being rude and snobbish. They have mastered the art of being cheeky and ignoring others, just to have things their way.

    As you might be aware already, astrology is an excellent indicator of a person’s inherent characteristics– both positive and negative. So, let’s find out who are the top 6 rude zodiac signs and who can be titled as the rudest sign of the zodiac.

    Top 6 Rude Zodiac Signs

    Today, we shall take a look at the top 6 rude zodiac signs, that are naturally and willfully rude!

    1. ​Aries (March 21 April 19)

    Strong-willed as you are, your impulsive nature makes you explode with meanness at times. You don’t like being labeled as a rude person, but in certain situations, you just need to be offensive to prove your authority. 

    You try to work things out when it comes to people who matter to you. But with the rest of the world, you have a short fuse. When things don’t go according to your plan, you aren’t afraid to show them how sharp-tongued you can be.

    Dr. Gregory House, the central character in the medical drama series House, M.D., is a complex individual whose personality intricacies make him both a medical genius and a challenging person to interact with.

    His character is notably marked by a sharp wit, a biting sense of humor, and an overall impatience and irritability toward those around him, often manifesting in brusque interactions with colleagues, patients, and subordinates.

    Read also
    Aries Personality: 15 Things You Need To Know About The Ram Sign
    Aries Personality Traits: A Zodiac Guide to the Enterprising Yet Ruthless Sign


    2. Taurus (April 20 – May 21)

    At first glance, you don’t come across as a rude person at all. In fact, you have a calm and positive demeanor (most of the time). 

    Your rudeness is well-hidden. You only use this secret weapon to put people who mess with you in the right place. If someone tries to undermine you in any way, you can be rude to the point of making them feel miserable.

    Everyone knows about your stubborn streak. You appreciate people who agree with your outlooks and opinions, but you can’t handle dissenters diplomatically. If people contradict you too much, you are quick to quieten them with your cheeky attitude.

    Sheldon Cooper, one of the main characters from the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory, is often portrayed as an epitome of logical reasoning and scientific precision.

    Despite his calm and controlled demeanor, Sheldon’s interactions with others can quickly devolve into condescension or outright rudeness when faced with opposition or a deviation from what he perceives as the correct or logical course of action.

    Read Also
    10 Secrets About Taurus You Probably Know Nothing About
    8 Reasons Why A Taurus Makes The Best Partner In Life


    3. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

    Capricorn, you just can’t tolerate people who don’t have the guts to show their authentic selves to the world. You only like to surround yourself with genuine, trustworthy people. Your way of dealing with fake people is just ignoring them and invalidating their presence.

    You are the know-it-all who has to insert your views in all matters! Since you think you are always right, your attitude is often condescending and arrogant. 

    Instead of helping others see things your way, you come across as blunt (or bitchy).

    Tony Stark, or Iron Man, from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is a multi-faceted character known for his genius-level intellect, technological innovations, and acerbic wit. In his early appearances, the audacious demeanor of Tony Stark is often seen as both a strength and a flaw.

    His arrogance sometimes alienates him from others and creates tension within relationships, both personal and professional. His tendency to dismiss others’ opinions and act unilaterally based on his own judgment underscores a self-centric view, often creating friction with his peers.

    Read Also
    10 Personality Traits Of Capricorn, The Disciplined Soul
    The Good and Bad of Loving A Capricorn (7 Brutal Truths)


    4. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)

    Your rudeness stems from your inner belief that you are better than others! While we admire your chutzpah, your behavior can be pretty hurtful.

    If anyone points out that you are being snobbish, you reply with a sarcastic “thank you”! On the other hand, if anyone tries to tackle your rude attitude with theirs, you are quick to show them their place with a nastier comeback!

    You suck at dealing with emotions. Instead of consoling people having uncontrolled emotional outbursts, you prefer avoiding them. We get it- you hate drama, but a little empathy from your side can make a big difference sometimes.

    You truly don’t care about the world’s opinion of you, which is good, but not all the time.

    Regina George, the quintessential high school queen bee portrayed in the film Mean Girls, encapsulates a type of adolescent arrogance and condescension towards those she deems socially inferior.

    Regina’s demeanor and interactions are rooted in a hierarchy of popularity and aesthetic appeal that she not only adheres to but also ruthlessly enforces within her social milieu.

    Read Also
    10 Personality Traits Of Aquarius, The Progressive Air Sign
    Aquarius: The Sign Most Likely To Be A Successful Celebrity, according to Studies


    5. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 19)

    You choose to live life your way and have zero tolerance for people who try to interfere and change your ways.

    First, you try to omit them from your life by giving them the silent treatment. If they fail to take the hint, you unleash your rude side. It is no secret that your patience level is critically low.

    When you lose your cool and burst out, you can easily come across as the rudest person others have encountered. Nobody wants to mess with you after that.

    Sherlock Holmes, one of literature’s most enduring detectives, is portrayed across various adaptations as a brilliant yet emotionally detached figure.

    This detachment also serves to isolate him from others, often rendering him insensitive to the emotional realities and needs of those around him, including his loyal friend Dr. John Watson.

    Read Also
    10 Personality Traits Of Sagittarius, The Fiery Archer Sign
    The Good and Bad of Loving A Sagittarius: 7 Brutal Truths


    6. Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)

    You are honest and speak your mind, which, no doubt, is an admirable quality. But here’s the problem- you use honesty as an excuse to be mean. 

    You’re the type of person who believes that “honesty is the best policy”, but you use that as a free pass to be offensive and rude. Kindly think before speaking- the receiver might not be ready for your brutally honest remarks! You can respectfully make your point too, don’t have to be so rude!

    You couldn’t care less about apologizing. You are just being truthful, if that is hurting others, that’s their problem

    If you don’t gel well with someone, you ignore him/her and also get your friends to do the same.

    Sue Sylvester, as portrayed by Jane Lynch in the television series “Glee,” is a character who epitomizes the role of a tough-love antagonist within the high school setting of William McKinley High.

    Her interactions are characterized by a sharp-tongued, brutally honest demeanor, where she doesn’t shy away from delivering harsh truths or criticisms, regardless of how they may be perceived by others.

    Read Also
    10 Personality Traits Of Scorpio, The Ambitious Water Sign
    10 Reasons to Love a SCORPIO


    On a concluding note, if you are at the receiving end of rude behavior, keep this in mind:
    “Never respond to rudeness. When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it personally, be silent.”

    Here are some positive comebacks for dealing with the rude zodiac signs:

    rude zodiac signs

    Have you encountered any of these rude zodiac signs in real life? Which is the rudest zodiac sign according to you? Let us know in the comment section below.


    Rudest Zodiac Signs Pin
    rude zodiac signs
  • How To Cultivate Your Sense of Purpose

    Finding your sense of purpose takes a little bit of inner strength, a little bit of self-love, and a little bit of effort on your part.

    “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ―Fyodor Dostoyevsky

    Does the world seem to be getting more complex by the day? Stress, and anxiety, are at an all-time high. And the world seems to be getting more divided every day. When all of this happens, it’s easy to feel bad about life, to live with a pessimistic mindset, and to feel like totally throwing in the towel.

    When watching the news, it is pretty easy to get overwhelmed by all of the problems of the world. Having the urge to pull the sheets over your head in the morning instead of facing the day is understandable.

    It seems like the only two states of being that are available these days are either anxious or numb. Feeling stuck, alone, and like no one will understand you. However, this is not the first time in history that humans have felt this way. History is riddled with all kinds of hardship and opportunities to be pessimistic. Even so, we have progressed and overcome challenges.

    And even though it doesn’t seem that way, it has never been more appropriate than right now to be optimistic about the future than at any time in human history.

    Related: How To Find A Purpose in Life and Give Your Life Meaning?

    We are more connected, more abundant and more available for positive change than ever before.

    It is hard to see the good when the bad is so painful and exploded on the headlines. It is hard to be optimistic in the midst of so much doubt and worry. It’s easier to be pulled into the drama, living with the idea that to be alive is to be in pain. However, there is so much more to life, than the bad and the ugly. So much more beyond our hurt.

    There are so many tools, and skills you can learn to pull yourself out of the dumpster. However, there is one thing that if you cultivate this within yourself, you will become happy once again.

    This is realizing your Purpose. When you find and live your life’s purpose, everything changes.

    Sense of Purpose

    Purpose is what will keep you going even in the hardest of times. It’s the thing that keeps you powerful. Purpose is the one thing that changes everything else. And purpose isn’t what you might think it is. Many people think that purpose in life is something that you do, like your job or the role you play in your family. Being a parent. Being an accountant. Being a sister or brother. Being a business owner.

    None of those things are actually your purpose in life. However, they can be an expression of your life’s purpose. Purpose is an internal emotional state, that you cultivate within yourself and then express it to the world. Purpose is a state of mind, not a specific thing that you do.

    And, there are three skills that are helpful when living a life of Purpose:

    1. Emotional Awareness – how do I feel now and how do I want to feel?
    2. Emotional Intelligence – knowing what to do to feel the way I want to feel.
    3. Emotional regulation – doing what it takes to emotionally regulate myself day to day and moment to moment.

    The key to success is not as difficult as you might think.

    Related: 4 Ways to Find The Purpose Of Your Life

    It is the ability to have emotional awareness, and intelligence. I think that emotional regulation is becoming one of the most important skills that you can learn today to be able to not only find your purpose but thrive in it from now on.

    Make sure you are surrounded by the people, environments and mentors who can guide you to learn and embody these skills.


    Written By Ilene Strauss Cohen
    Originally Appeared On Doctor Ilene

    When you are searching for your sense of purpose, do not think it has got anything to do with your goal-based achievements, even though you should be proud of everything you have achieved till now. You know that you have finally found your sense of purpose when you understand emotional intelligence and emotional awareness like never before!

    Cultivate Your Sense of Purpose pin
  • The Healing Power of Music: How Music Therapy Improves Mental Health

    Music has long been a conduit to healing. Learn more about how music therapy can improve anxiety, depression, and more.

    Musick has charms to soothe a savage Breast.

    This oft-misquoted idiom, from the 17th-century play, Mourning Bride, by William Congreve, posits the idea of music as therapy.1 Note the words used in the original verse from 1697—it’s “musick,” not music and “breast” not beast. Because the words were penned so long ago, it’s hard to know for certain—or verify if “breast” was intended as “beast” (surely there were typos back then, too!)—but the meaning seems clear: In times of agitation or sadness, music can be a calming influence.

    Music as therapy has shown positive and beneficial effects in managing a host of medical conditions, like high blood pressure, as well as an effective treatment for some mental health conditions. Usually part of a multi-pronged approach to care, music therapists work with doctors, nurses, social workers, and other practitioners to alleviate depression, trauma, schizophrenia, and more.2

    Related: Music Therapy for depression – how can it heal you?

    ANCIENT ORIGINS

    While modern music therapy may be a 20th-century “invention,” it is by no means a new concept. Ancient Greek philosophers used music therapeutically, playing tranquil flute melodies to manic patients; while people with depression were treated to the soothing sounds of a dulcimer (an instrument similar to a zither).

    Physicians and musicians were housed in holy healing shrines—further cementing the intertwined relationship that music and healing had in Ancient Greece. Early Ancient Egyptian medical papyrus texts describe chant-like incantations for healing the sick. And within Chinese medicine, a tradition with an ancient lineage, music is seen to correspond to the five different organ and meridian systems, which can be used to promote healing.3

    music is universal language

    A TIBETAN RITUAL REBORN

    If everything old is new again, singing bowl therapy belongs in that fascinating group. Dating back to the 12th century, Tibetan singing bowls are a type of bell that vibrates and produces a rich, resonant, deep tone when played. The sound is said to promote relaxation and powerful healing.

    Buddhist monks have long used Tibetan singing bowls in their meditation practice—and now this ancient aural therapy has come back into vogue. Wellness centers offer sound baths where practitioners incorporate singing bowls into experiential musical therapy. A 2016 study found that singing bowl meditation reduces depression, fatigue, anger, stress, and anxiety.4And reducing the negative impact of these symptoms has positive benefits for both physical and mental health.

    THE DAWN OF MODERN MUSIC THERAPY

    While Aristotle and Plato extolled the healing virtues of music, modern music therapy originated during World War II. Many soldiers struggling with physical and emotional trauma (such as post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD) were institutionalized, unable to function in society. Volunteer musicians of all types, both amateur and professional, began playing for hospitalized veterans.

    Noting the positive physical and emotional impact, doctors and nurses started requesting regular visits from musicians. It was thought that hearing familiar songs helped stabilize and calm the soldiers—bringing them back to a more peaceful time before the war. Overtime standards and training programs began to emerge. In 1944, Michigan State University founded the first college music therapy program, a step toward codifying the approach as a therapeutic discipline.5 

    Related: Music Personality Test: What Your Taste In Music Says About Your Personality

    MUSIC BECOMES A HEALING MODALITY

    Medical staff in hospitals with war veterans continued to be impressed by the positive emotional, physical, and psychological effects of music. Music seemed to reach the traumatized soldiers and other people in ways that traditional therapies (lobotomies and insulin-induced comas for those with chronic symptoms, among them)6 did not during a time when psychiatric treatment approaches were neither respected or encouraged in the military.

    On the heels of that success, the National Association for Music Therapy was formed in 1950 (now called the American Music Therapy Association). This group helped further important research in this burgeoning field.

    HOW MUSIC AFFECTS THE BODY

    Here’s the skinny: melody, harmony, and rhythm stimulate the senses, which affects our breathing, heart rate, and other bodily functions. Music can promote a sense of tranquility—or it can rev you up. Music therapy, particularly when combined with talk therapy, boosts levels of the “feel-good hormone” dopamine. Associated with feelings of euphoria, motivation, bliss, and concentration, music can play a part in improving a number of symptoms, notably depression. The music used in therapy is typically tailored to the needs of the patient—and often times, several combinations of music are used.

    ACTIVE VERSUS PASSIVE

    There are two general kinds of music therapy: active and passive. Active music therapy techniques include engaging the client in singing, music composition, and instrument playing. The patient is encouraged to share thoughts and feelings that arise from creating the composition. The goal? For the patient to glean insights into his/her problems.

    Passive therapy, on the other hand, involves listening to music while doing some kind of reflective activity like drawing or meditation. Afterward the therapist and patient discuss the feelings and memories conjured up by the experience. According to the American Music Therapy Association, active music therapy is used more often in clinical settings.

    GOOD VIBES: TUNING FORK THERAPY

    Tuning forks were invented to create a pure tone and a way for musicians to tune their instruments. During the last 40 years however, tuning forks have become tools in medicine and alternative therapies.

    These calibrated metal forks are used to apply vibrations to different parts of the body, with the aim of releasing tension and pent up energy in order to foster emotional balance. It’s similar to acupuncture but instead of using needles to stimulate a bodily response, sound frequencies are employed. Research suggests that tuning fork therapy can also relieve muscle and bone pain—conditions that often accompany anxiety and depression.

    Related: 20+ Best Meditation Music For Relief From Stress and Anxiety

    THE MENTAL HEALTH BENEFITS OF SOUND

    music therapy

    The great news? Research has shown that music therapy is beneficial for many mental health disorders, such as depression, PTSD, trauma, autism, schizophrenia. Music can help someone process emotions—particularly from trauma and grief—and can be a calming balm for anxiety. But the type of music matters.

    Different music evokes different neurological responses: classical music, as you might suspect is comforting and relaxing, while rock music is energizing. There are physical benefits as well. Research on music therapy and blood pressure, published in The International Journal of Cardiology, showed that music therapy can decrease systolic blood pressure, which reduces the risk of stroke.7

    HELP WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS

    We all have moments of sadness, loss, loneliness—these passing emotions are part of the human condition. Depression is something different. It’s a pervasive, persistent mood disorder characterized by despair, diminished interest, and loss of pleasure. Left untreated, depression impairs the ability to function.

    More than 7% of Americans are depressed, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention so finding an effective treatment is important. One huge advantage of music therapy: no side effects. Plus, it can be used in conjunction with other forms of treatment to improve mood, lessen anxiety and help return a person’s ability to function again.8

    Related: The Power of Beats: A Look Into the Psychological Effects of Music

    MUSIC AND AUTISM

    Music can be used to foster verbal and nonverbal communication skills for people on the autism spectrum. Music therapists also use music to improve sensory issues, social skills, self-reliance, cognitive ability, and motor skills.

    Music that resonates with an individual allows for a more personal connection that fosters trust with the therapist and many successfully use it to reward desired behaviors and responses.

    A meta-study concluded other benefits such as increased attention to tasks, better vocabulary comprehension and improved social behavior all through music.9

    SOOTHING THE RAVAGES OF DEMENTIA

    People of all ages relate to and enjoy music, making it a universal language, of sorts. However, its value can go far beyond simply listening. In older adults with Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other mental health conditions, music therapy has been found to significantly decrease agitation, aggression, and other symptoms of dementia; along with improving mood, socialization, and cooperation with daily tasks—like dressing and bathing.

    Related: 8 Surprising Ways Music Benefits Your Brain

    Music can also be used as sensory and intellectual stimulation, which can help maintain a person’s quality of life or even improve it as it gives them an avenue for communication.10

    A PATHWAY TO BETTER SLEEP

    From fussy infants to older adults with insomnia—calming music, like classical or nature sounds—can significantly improve the quality of sleep. Insufficient rest leads to daytime dysfunction and exhaustion, too, of course.

    Some experts say music therapy is as effective as sleeping pills in inducing sleep or tranquil states, as evidenced by sleep EEG testing, a study reported in The Journal of PeriAnesthesia Nursing.11 

    Lack of sleep can significantly impact mood. A University of Pennsylvania found that subjects who were limited to only 4.5 hours of sleep a night, for 7 days, reported feeling more mentally exhausted, stressed, sad, and angry. However, when the subjects went back to a normal sleep schedule, study participants reported dramatic improvement in mood.

    music

    WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS TO REACH KIDS

    “Music is the one thing that transcends all human emotion,” says Clive Robbins, a psychologist who is co-director of the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Clinic at New York University, and one of the pioneers in the rapidly growing field, when interviewed by the New York Times. Medications while possibly effective, carry side effects, which can be particularly challenging when treating children.

    Other therapies can also help, but may not spark as much engagement and connection. Robbins has found that when other methods fail, music therapy can be an effective way to reach emotionally-disturbed children. ”Music motivates kids who do not communicate to somehow make contact,” he says.

    music therapy

    GONE TO THE DOGS . . .

    It’s not just humans that are impacted behaviorally by music. In a 2012 study published in The Journal of Veterinary Behavior, researchers from Colorado State University observed the behavior of 117 dogs—from activity levels to vocalizations and more. The veterinarians played several types of music to the pooches, from classical, heavy metal, and an altered form of classical music.

    As a control, they also observed the behavior when no music was playing. And here’s what they found: the pooches slept the most when listening to all kinds of classical music, an indication that it relaxed them. But (this is likely not going to shock you)—had the opposite reaction when listening to heavy metal, as demonstrated by increased body shaking, a sign of canine anxiety.

    Article Sources:

    1. The Phrase Finder. The Meaning and Origin of the Expression: Music has Charms to Soothe the Savage Breast. Available at: www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/music-has-charms-to-soothe-the-savage-breast.html  Accessed June 13, 2019.

    2. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). The Impact of Music Therapy on Mental Health. Available at: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/December-2016/The-Impact-of-Music-Therapy-on-Mental-Health Accessed June 13, 2019.

    3. Thaut MH. Music as therapy in early history. Prog Brain Res 2015;217:143-158

    4. Goldsby TL. Effects of Singing Bowl Sound Meditation on Mood, Tension, and Well-being: An Observational Study. J. Evid Based Complementary Altern Med. 2017 Jul;22(3):401-406.

    5. American Music Therapy Association. History of Music Therapy. Available at: www.musictherapy.org/about/history/ Accessed June 13, 2019.

    6. Crocq MA. From shell shock and war neurosis to posttraumatic stress disorder: a history of psychotraumatology. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2000;2(1):47–55.

    7. do Amaral MA. Effect of music therapy on blood pressure of individuals with hypertension: A systematic review and Meta-analysis. Int J Cardiol. 2016 Jul 1;214:461-4.

    8. Aalbers S. Music therapy for depression. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2017 Nov 16;11:CD004517.

    9. Stegemann T.  Music Therapy and Other Music-Based Interventions in Pediatric Health Care: An Overview. Medicines.  2019 Feb 14;6(1). pii: E25.

    10. Weise L. Study protocol: individualized music for people with dementia – improvement of quality of life and social participation for people with dementia in institutional care. BMC Geriatr. 2018 Dec 14;18(1):313.

    11. Loewy J. Sleep/sedation in children undergoing EEG testing: a comparison of chloral hydrate and music therapy. Am J Electroneurodiagnostic Technol. 2006 Dec;46(4):343-55.


    Written by: Karina Margit Erdelyi

    Originally appeared on Psycom
    Republished with permission.

    Music Therapy Improves Mental Health Pin
  • 40+ Hilarious Animal Memes That Every Introvert Will Relate To

    Introverts tend to get a lot of flak and ridicule at times, due to their shy and reserved nature. People perceive it to be sad or lonely when they see an introvert sitting at a cafe alone, having some coffee and minding their own business. As an introvert, chances are you end up enjoying the company of animals more than humans, and you might also relate to all the animal memes that are on the internet that perfectly depicts an introvert’s life.

    It’s not that extroverts are bad, but how can you not appreciate solitude and alone time? It’s the best thing ever! Introverts get drained when they have to socialize and mingle too much with people, and solitude is like their elixir to when they feel the need to recharge. Read on to relate hard to these entertaining animal memes.

    Here Are 40+ Hilarious Animal Memes That Every Introvert Will Relate To

    1. Having an existential crisis again, are we?

    Animal Memes

    2. It’s not the same, okay? Okay?!

    Animal Memes

    3. When the coming week feels nothing short of an apocalypse.

    Animal Memes

    4. When your whole life has been all about quarantining.

    Animal Memes

    5. *Internally bawling*

    Animal Memes

    Related: 80+ Introvert Memes That Will Speak Your Mind For You

    6. Only an introvert understands another introvert. Period.

    Animal Memes

    7. Please don’t leave me. Please.

    Animal Memes

    8. No exhaustion like this.

    Animal Memes

    9. Magician: Wait, what just happened?
    Introvert: …..

    Animal Memes

    10. *Internal screaming*

    Animal Memes

    Related: 6 Reasons Why Introverts Absolutely Hate Talking On The Phone

    11. Should not have taken such an impulsive decision. Now what?

    Animal Memes

    12. That’s what happens when you are two peas in a pod.

    Animal Memes

    13. Please. Stop. Talking. Please.

    Animal Memes

    14. Can we just get this over with? Like, really fast?

    Animal Memes

    15. No. Just no.

    Animal Memes

    16. Help me someone please.

    Animal Memes

    17. The best kind of family.

    Animal Memes

    18. Napping together with your best friend is one of the best things ever.

    Animal Memes

    Related: 9 Things That Make An Introvert Happy

    19. Uncomfortable silence.

    Animal Memes

    20. Why must you do this to me?

    Animal Memes

    21. Why must you do this to me? Part II.

    Animal Memes

    22. It’s already 7.30. It’s late.

    Animal Memes

    23. What did I get myself into?

    Animal Memes

    24. Pretending to be invisible and non-existent? Check.

    Animal Memes

    25. Why does this happen? How does this happen?

    Animal Memes

    26. Umm…Yeah, sometimes.

    Animal Memes

    27. But, everyone looks like this. No? Ohhh…

    Animal Memes

    28. *Sigh*

    Animal Memes

    29. Aight, imma head out.

    Animal Memes

    30. Leave me alone!!

    Animal Memes

    31. A perfect example of, “You don’t find them, they find you.”

    Animal Memes

    32. Yes, that’s the perfect spot.

    Animal Memes

    33. What did you just say?!

    Animal Memes

    34. Ugh, get away from me!

    Animal Memes

    35. Why must you bother me when I am busy doing nothing?

    Animal Memes

    Related: 40+ Comics That Only Introverts Will Understand

    36. But, do I really have to?

    Animal Memes

    37. The best kind of plan.

    Animal Memes

    38. Meetings should just be banned forever.

    Animal Memes

    39. Hey, remember me?

    Animal Memes

    40. When you know, you know.

    Animal Memes

    41. Become one with nature.

    Animal Memes

    42. People are fine, but they are not fine.

    Animal Memes

    Which animal memes did you relate to the most? Let us know your favorites in the comments down below!


    Hilarious Animal Memes Introvert Relate Pin
  • 3 Things About Self-Esteem That Are Not True

    Accepting yourself for who you are and believing in yourself is the ultimate way to live a fulfilling and content life. Self-esteem is what helps us to navigate our lives in a positive way. But do we really know what self-esteem really is? There are some factors we associate with self-esteem which are not true, contrary to popular belief.

    There is hardly a shortage of advice out there on how to build unshakable confidence and start believing in yourself again. Self-esteem is a major celebrity in the field of psychology—in fact, it’s probably one of the most researched topics of all time.

    We do need high self-esteem, though, so that we feel worthy and valuable human beings—that’s undebated by scientists, unlike the ways to go about getting to that sunshine state of mind or what outcomes our elevated self-beliefs can actually help us achieve.

    Self-Esteem

    But one thing is for sure, I believe—to be able to nurture and grow your self-views, you need to know not only the right paths to take that will lead to self-enhancement, but equally —the ones not to venture into.

    Here Are 3 Things About Self-Esteem That I’ve Found Are Not True, Contrary To Somewhat Popular Beliefs.

    1. Self-Esteem And Confidence Are The Same Thing

    In fact, this is not quite correct. ‘Self-esteem’ comes from the Latin term ‘aestimare,’ which means ‘to appraise, value, weigh.’ ‘Confidence,’ in turn, derives from the word ‘fidere,’ or ‘to trust.’

    Simply put, self-esteem is internal—it’s about how much you value yourself, what you believe your worth is. Confidence is the external projection of these inner feelings—it’s the outer expression of self-esteem.

    Goes without saying, they are hitched—one can’t exist without the other. But, if you try to fake confidence without feeling it on the inside, a clash is imminent. This so-called surface acting is mentally exhausting and you can’t keep up the act for long, many studies have uncovered. So, a better way to go about it is not to fake it, but feel it on the inside.

    Yet, another view to describe the difference between the two terms is that self-esteem is your opinion of yourself, while confidence is how certain you are in these opinions, as Prof. Richard Petty nicely puts it in his Ted Talk.

    Related: How To Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly: 12 Simple Tips

    2. Self-Esteem Is Stable And Can’t Be Changed

    Self-views are largely established around the tender age of 5, research tells us, and are fairly consistent through our lifespans. But this is not the full picture.

    On the whole, self-esteem is comprised of 3 main faucets—global (trait), state, and domain. 

    1. Global (trait) self-esteem 

    Global (trait) self-esteem is what we generally think about ourselves—it’s a barometer of how much we like or dislike ourselves if we think we are a worthy person. And these opinions are fairly stable, indeed.

    2. State self-esteem, or feelings of self-worth

    State self-esteem, or feelings of self-worth, relate to how we feel in the moment. For instance, getting a promotion may boost your self-esteem, while a divorce can plummet it. It’s the events that happen to us, that can affect whether we feel good or bad about ourselves. It’s self-implied that these opinions are temporary and can be flipped somewhat easily when the next success or failure comes around.

    3. Domain self-esteem 

    Domain self-esteem means how much we evaluate our abilities and skills. For instance, you may be an excellent student, therefore— have high academic self-esteem, but maybe mediocre at sports, which puts your athletic self-esteem somewhere on the low end of the spectrum.

    But here is the silver lining—not all domains are created equal. If you want to become a doctor, for instance, your self-esteem will be tied to academics and not athletics. So, the fact that you can’t run fast won’t dent your self-esteem.

    Then it goes without saying—that by putting more effort and practice into the areas that matter to you, you can influence your self-esteem.

    3. Positive Feedback And Affirmations Boost Self-Esteem

    It’s a well-known fact that low esteemers are not great fans of compliments. In fact, accolades clash with their unfavorable self-views to the point that they consider them bogus, even if the praise is deserved. Lovely stuff, isn’t it?

    But it gets more interesting. According to the so-called Self-verification theory, we tend to seek feedback from others that is coherent with our own self-opinions, even if they are negative. What this really means is that people with unflattering self-views prefer friends and partners who regard them negatively.

    It may sound a bit absurd, but it does make sense.

    Related: STOP Killing Your Self-Esteem: 5 Habits You Need To Change Now

    If you don’t like yourself very much and someone tells you that you are a wonderful person, it will sound like a lie (even if true). It clashes with the way you perceive the world and yourself. Instead, you will seek validation that you are as you believe it to be—not nice and lovable.

    Self-intervention won’t work either. Another piece of research tells us that positive self-affirmation (for ex. I’m worthy, I’ll be a great success, etc.) won’t do anything for someone with low self-esteem. In fact, they will ring as false and will make you feel inauthentic.

    To successfully influence your self-esteem with affirmations, the Greats tell us, you need to base the praise on your actual strengths and abilities and focus on progress, not on the end result.

    But ultimately, in order to become a recovering self-esteemer, you must learn to first accept yourself just as you are. ‘Unconditional positive regard’ is what can facilitate change and growth.

    Or, as the great American psychologist Carl Rogers eloquently put it:

    “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.”

    And so can you.


    Written by: Evelyn Marinoff
    Originally appeared on: Evelyn Marinoff
    Republished with permission.

    For more advice on how to become more confident and live a more fulfilling life, join Evelyn’s Facebook page here or visit her website  http://www.evelynmarinoff.com/.

    Things Self Esteem Not True pin
    self esteem that are not true pin
  • 11 Symptoms Of Vitamin B12 Deficiency and How It Affects Your Mind and Body

    What if you have vitamin B12 deficiency and you don’t even know?

    Vegetarians and vegans may want to take note.

    Age, dietary choices, and lifestyle changes all play an important role in our ability to absorb nourishing vitamins from our food and optimize our health. While some nutrients are easily consumed, others can be a bit more tricky to include in our diet.

    Vitamin B12, an important water-soluble vitamin, is one of those vitamins that can often slip through the cracks. 

    What Is Vitamin B12?

    Vitamin B12 plays an essential role in maintaining a healthy nervous system, pumping oxygen around the body in our red blood cells, and in producing DNA. Women, particularly elderly women, are most vulnerable to health risks associated with vitamin B12 deficiency, but all ages and genders can be affected.

    Because vitamin B12 is naturally found in animal foods, including meats, fish, poultry, eggs, and dairy, those following strict vegetarian and vegan diets are also susceptible to the health risks associated with a lack of the vitamin.

    vitamin B12 deficiency

    Even some animal products lose vitamin B12 in processing, so it’s essential that people consume bread and plant-based milks that are fortified with B12, or consume supplements in tablet form to get enough of this vitamin in their systems. 

    vegan sources of vitamin B-12

    What Happens When Your Vitamin B12 Is Low?

    symptoms of vitamin b twelve deficiency info

    Vitamin B12 deficiency symptoms are subtle and may not always generate enough concern, but it’s important that you stay in touch with your body and consult a health professional if any of these 11 signs persist.

    1. Weakness and fatigue

    Vitamin B12 is needed in the formation of red blood cells, which help carry oxygen to the blood. Without oxygen flowing freely around your body, you’ll begin to feel tired and drained no matter how many naps you take.

    Those lacking in vitamin B12 can be at risk of developing pernicious anemia, which is often characterized by weakness and fatigue.  

    Related: 8 Foot Exercises That Can Cure Back Pain in minutes

    2. Mood swings

    Studies linking a lack of vitamin B12 to depression state that low levels of the vitamin can interfere with signals to and from your brain, and cause damage to brain tissue. This inhibits your brain’s ability to regulate mood and retain information.

    While there are many factors that contribute to mood changes and depression, it’s possible that increasing your B12 intake can support a healthy, balanced mental state. 

    Related: Dietary Changes Are Proven To Effectively Treat Major Depression

    3. Blurred vision

    If left untreated for an extended period of time, lack of B12 can damage the optic nerve or plug up the blood vessels in the retina, causing blurry vision, double vision, sensitivity to light, and even vision loss.

    Thinning of the optic nerve due to lack of vitamin B12 is known as optic neuropathy. Typically, this damage can be reversed by supplementing your vitamin B12 intake. 

    4. Pale or jaundiced skin

    Without B12 and red blood cells, your skin may lose its healthy tone and leave you looking pale or with a yellowish tinge on your skin and the whites of your eyes. This is known as jaundice.

    Weakened red blood cells breakdown quicker, producing bilirubin, a brown-colored substance produced by the liver when it breaks down old blood cells, leading your skin to appear yellow. 

    5. High temperature

    Though uncommon, fever-like symptoms could potentially arise from a lack of vitamin B12. Megaloblastic anemia, arising from a lack of vitamin B12, can cause a sharp increase in body-temperature if left untreated.

    Limited research has been done into the causes of this anemia-induced fever, but this study did show that increased B12 intake resolved symptoms in patients presenting with high temperatures. 

    6. Dizziness

    A lack of red blood cells can result in lightheadedness and breathlessness when oxygen is unable to access the brain. Those who are B12 deficient, and have developed anemia as a result, often report feelings of dizziness.

    Related: 10+ Immunity Boosting Foods You Should Have More Often

    7. Inflamed tongue or mouth ulcers

    Because vitamin B12 helps to maintain a healthy nervous system, a lack of the vitamin can cause people to lose the white bumps, or papillae, on their tongues.

    This cause your tongue to become swollen and red, or even result in soreness or burning sensation. As symptoms get worse, mouth ulcers or itchiness may occur. 

    8. Lack of coordination

    Linked to dizziness and fatigue, lack of B12 can manifest as poor balance and lack of mobility. Older people are particularly prone to this symptom, and it can have dangerous effects by increasing falls and disability

    9. Unusual sensations

    While most side effects of B12 deficiency are easily reversed, long-term nerve damage is among the more serious and is difficult-to-treat.

    B12 aids in the production of myelin, a fatty substance that surrounds and protects nerves. Without this, your nervous system cannot function properly.

    Frequent sensations of “pins and needles,” numbness, and shock waves running through your body could be caused by a lack of vitamin B12. 

    10. Forgetfulness

    Vitamin B12 deficiency has been linked to dementia and Alzheimer’s in elderly people. Because our nervous systems affect our cognitive health and our ability to retain information, even young people lacking in vitamin B12 may notice their memory deteriorating.

    Related: 22 Tips to Keep Your brain Sharp and Young At Any Age 

    11. Anxious feelings

    Vitamin B12 is used in the production of serotonin and dopamine, important chemicals in the brain that help regulate the mood, and calm feelings of stress and anxiety. Without this vitamin, worries and anxiety can mount, resulting in harmful mental health issues. 

    If you observe these signs of vitamin B12 deficiency then consult your doctor without any delay. There may be subtle signs but if ignored may turn dangerous.


    Written by Alice Kelly
    Originally appeared on: Your Tango

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