“Can psychopaths fall in love?”- If you’re asking this question then it means you have already fallen for one, but the good news is you have successfully understood your person’s true nature.
Why love is not for Psychopaths, Narcissists, and Sociopaths? Terms such as narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths have become quite common these days, with every person knowing at least one person who belongs to these categories. Knowing people like these can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, so imagine the plight of those people who share a significant relationship with them.
If you are in love with a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath, then it can be an incredibly overwhelming and negative experience for you. Since they are always lost in their own worlds and only think about their needs, desires, and wishes, it can be a very depressing situation for their victims.
Can narcissistic people with any variation of Anti-Social Personality Disorder like Narcissism, Sociopathic tendencies, or Psychopathic tendencies love other people? Can psychopaths fall in love? The short version of the answer is sort of — but not really.
Cluster B personality types perceive the world in a very different way than most people. They are capable of mirroring whatever quality you want them to have, meaning they are wonderful fakers. So, being in love with a narcissist can be one of the toughest things you can experience.
If he or she has an NPD or ASPD, the range of emotion is limited biologically to the point that there is little to no capacity for empathy. As such, while he can learn to imitate the behaviors of a person in love and can do love bombing or hoover as a skill, emotionally they never experience what we think of as love i.e., caring about another people’s best interest or well-being.
Read: Therapy for NPD and Narcissists
Why Does A Narcissist Behave The Way They Behave?
In narcissists and psychopaths, egocentrism functionally limits their capacity to think or feel their way through things. They observe and mimic to manipulate and con, but their competitive nature causes them to miss the point entirely, of the whole spectrum of human social activity.
Since grandiosity, a ruthless need to win at any cost, and just plain abject moral stupidity hinder all narcissistic people’s ability to make decisions, they are both functionally unable to change and likely will never see the need to do it. Doomed to pull the short straw in every social interaction, psychopaths and narcissists play the role of boorish assclowns on most occasions.
Read: Letter from a narcissist’s true self to answer the question of can psychopaths fall in love
Can Psychopaths Fall In Love?
Egocentrism makes them competitive rather than collaborative. As such, every social interaction they have has a winner, (and by default a loser) rather than being two people in love acting in ways that are mutually supportive. Being in love with a narcissist will always take more from you than give you back.
A growth spurt in height at the age of 45 would be more likely than to have a narcissist suddenly wake up and start acting like a somewhat decent or moral person. Expecting them to have principles and a moral code of conduct is equivalent to the possibility of the sun rising in the South.
If a person has NPD or ASPD the right way to deal with them is to accept them for who they are while setting healthy boundaries to avoid them from imposing their manipulative and psycho-socially dominating antics. If they can control their temper in front of a policeman or judge, they can control their temper in ANY domestic or personal situation.
Read: Ways A Narcissist Manipulates You and How To Shut Them Down
How Do You Understand That You Have Fallen In Love With A Narcissist?
You cannot always control who you fall in love with. Similarly, you might not even understand that you have fallen in love with a narcissist. Love is not something that makes the same sense to them. To that end, people with Cluster B feel no loyalty but do show preference. You might be in love with a narcissist, but they might not be actually in love with you. Maybe you are just another option for them.
They have what is known as “preferred targets” and “Narcissistic Supply Sources”. Look both terms up — you made the list and know it (calling yourself his “fallback girl”). Men who have those typically keep somewhere between 5 and 30 plates in the air juggling at all times.
Don’t believe us yet? Still, thinking your love affair with a Narcissist, Psychopath or Sociopath is unique?
Still, thinking about all those times when you laughed together and laid in bed daydreaming about life and a future with your partner? Trust the experts. When it comes to love, Cluster B people treat romance more like spinning plates.
Seriously. Each additional Narcissistic Supply Source is like another plate in the air that they keep stringing along. If the plate wobbles or slows its spin, the predator shows up to give a little gaslighting and manipulating to get it back to its own routine.
Take this self-gaslighting quiz if you are asking yourself the question can psychopaths fall in love?
This Is What You Can Do To Break The Cycle
Can psychopaths fall in love? No, it’s highly unlikely. But if you are someone who is in love with a narcissist, then there is some good news. If you and all the other victims stop feeding and supporting people who are like this, Narcissistic Abuse recovery can start to happen. By acknowledging that you are actually and willingly being used as an “Enabler”, you can actually start to make different and better life decisions about how to choose to act or react, learning to observe reflectively before you do.
By acknowledging that, when and if a victim is willingly being used as an “Enabler”, they can own up to taking responsibility for their own choice to remain with an Abuser. For instance, a spouse who actively plays a competitive role between a spouse and a prospective lover or mistress ends up anchoring a third of a psychological phenomenon called Triangulation. This might help you to start making different and better decisions.
Once it becomes clear you are being played, it’s easier to depersonalize abuse from a cheating spouse. Learning how to set healthy boundaries, with regard to whether or not, to even consider actively engaging in conversation with people who would:
- lie
- disrespect
- have a wandering eye
- cheat
will fast pace recovery. Evaluating life each day from a situational ethics standpoint becomes key. This awareness enables you to make rational and pragmatic decisions, which will be better for you in the long run.
Under the influence of an effective gaslighting pro, one might be tricked into believing abuse is “not that bad” or that a victim is “over-reacting.” Knowing about Cluster B patterns and the personality type of egocentric, pathological liars allows a victim to start making decisions that are beneficial for their own mental health and happiness.
Truly, education is the first step in making the change in mindset from being a Narcissistic Abuse victim struggling in survival mode, to an actual SURVIVOR. A few key phrases to look up and reflect upon (related to the issue of Narcissistic Abuse) are as follows:
- Cognitive Dissonance and Reverse Projection are the psychiatric dysfunctions nearly all domestic abuse share, side effects of gaslighting and Brain Washing.
- More reading on Stockholm Syndrome is absolutely necessary.
- Flying Monkeys are Enablers — and if you have been recruited to support a narcissistic person socially, financially, or emotionally, the chances of you being morally liable for enabling as well as abusing other people by proxy are heartbreaking truths.
- Honeymoon Phase includes plenty of Hoovering — the late-stage form of Love Bombing, something is done to emotionally sway or impress a target into believing the Abuser is somehow good.
Being a willing Enabler to a narcissist is the most embarrassing thing to look back on and realize, once you intellectually and emotionally connect the dots to what you are doing.
It’s a totally demoralizing position to be in, in many ways despite them somehow making you feel unique and special. What they actually do is, use men and women in your position — to enable them and help them avoid taking responsibility for their actions socially, when and if they have burned all their OTHER people.
That’s when they look for the most manipulatable and willing target to pick up the pieces for them while putting out free sex and wasting all YOUR emotional energy trying to please them. Sadly, since pleasing them would be something they perceive as a win for you, they would view themselves as a loser if they gave you any praise or credit for doing a great job as a lover for them.
As such, their grandiosity and egocentrism coupled with a lack of empathy or capacity to truly love (rather than be partial to someone for nostalgic reasons of being able to count on them to be easily duped into enabling) makes them constantly undermine loving people. They can’t understand the merit of what they are missing, but on a core level, they resent others who seem to both feel and enjoy feeling it.
Read How You Can Survive Living With A Narcissist
Try To Recognize The Signs Before You Fall In Love With A Narcissist
The bottom line is that all narcissistic people (anti-social or not) will minimize your most loving and honest efforts. Additionally, they will compulsively invalidate you and put you in some sort of a negative place.
Once victims know this information — that they are being systematically brainwashed, abused, and manipulated by a narcissist, who does so as a deliberate choice in life pattern, it’s up to them to make the choice whether or not to continue to play by the Abusive person’s rules. It’s called the “Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse”.
The only way to win is not to play — truly, learning how to go Gray Rock (like a stone emotionally) is the first step in saving YOU from YOU when and if for some reason YOU ever thought it was in any way necessary or morally appropriate to willingly allow YOURSELF to be abused.
If the person abusing has Narcissistic or Anti-Social Personality Disorder, even the psychologists and leading psychiatrists can only study them (not treat them). If you are holding out hope that if you love them enough, you will be able to bring about a change in the emotional psychology of an abuser, you are simply wasting your time.
Read 6 Diversion Tactics Used By Sociopaths, Narcissists and Psychopaths to Manipulate You Into Silence
Once upon a time, there existed a moment in time before one person traumatized another.
It’s only in this “once upon a time” scenario that no need for Narcissistic Abuse reflection, recovery, and subsequent healing was possible.
That was all for our article on the question of Can Psychopaths Fall In Love. Share your take on this topic by commenting down below.
Frequently Asked Questions –
Do sociopaths and psychopaths have empathy?
No, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths biologically do not have the capacity to empathize with others.
Does therapy work for sociopaths and psychopaths?
Therapy can help sociopaths and psychopaths and stop them from re-offending if the patients cooperate with their therapists.
Do psychopaths marry or remain single?
Psychopaths can develop romantic relationships but whether or not they can commit to marriage depends upon each person.
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