The Empath And The Wounded Narcissist: Unpacking The Toxicity

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What is the relationship between an empath and the wounded narcissist? Why empaths fall for the wounded narcissist? And what does a relationship between an empath and narcissist look like? Letโ€™s find out more about the relationship between an empath and wounded narcissist. and how a deeply wounded narcissist treats an empath.

The cause of NPD is not known but there are many theories which includeโ€ฆ

โ€“ Overvaluing as a child
โ€“ A learned behavior
โ€“ Genetics
โ€“ Abuse in childhood

The cause is most likely complex with the possibility of more than one factor being at the root of this disorder.

Some believe that the narcissist has come from a place of pain, that he or she has been subjected to unimaginable pain and as a result, they have taken on a certain set of behaviors in order to deal with their past.ย 

Many people have been subjected to abuse and yet have found the strength within themselves to not let their past dictate their future.

Let us take a look at when the โ€˜woundedโ€™ narcissist meets an empathetic person.

Related: The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims

The Empath And The Wounded Narcissist

empath and the wounded narcissist

An empath is a giver who wants to help.ย They take on anotherโ€™s pain and internalize it.ย  They are full of compassion believing in the good of humankind.ย They have the ability to put themselves in anotherโ€™s shoes and try to make things better often at the expense of their own well-being.ย 

On the other hand, the narcissist is a taker, sucking others dry for their own benefit and to hell with the consequences or who may suffer as a result (as long as itโ€™s not them).ย It may be a match made in heaven for the wounded narcissist but itโ€™s a match made in hell for the empath.

Empaths tend to think that people are inherently good failing to see that there are some people who donโ€™t possess such qualities as empathy and kindness.

Itโ€™s hard for them to realize that some people are out for what they can get with absolutely no good intentions whatsoever.ย They fail to set boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not.ย 

A narcissist will seize this opportunity to take advantage of their kind and forgiving nature.ย Their aim will be to exploit and manipulate the empath by any means necessary.ย 

The wounded narcissist has mastered the art of deception and will employ well-practiced devious and underhand methods to exert their influence whereby they will eventually gain control not only of their targetโ€™s mind but virtually their every move.ย 

empath and the wounded narcissist

This type of psychological abuse is a gradual process whereby the person being targeted has absolutely no idea that such wheels have been set in motion.ย 

Their objective has been to love, to help, and to soothe the pain that the narcissist has so convincingly made them believe has been a part of their past.ย 

Let us not forget that narcissists are pathological liars often portraying themselves as the victim when the opposite is true and they are, in fact, the perpetrator.

Related: 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy

Can these two personalities find an equilibrium?ย 

That, Iโ€™m afraid is highly unlikely.ย Over time the target of this insidious abuse will get worn down.ย Just like a carpet that gets constantly trod on, its once beauty and soft touch are now lackluster and barren of fiber.ย They will get fed up with constantly being blamed when things donโ€™t run smoothly.ย 

Theyโ€™ll get fed up with being the only one fighting for this relationship.ย Sometimes this process takes years but eventually, most realize that there is a point of no return.ย  Itโ€™s either sink or swim.ย 

As a captain of a ship performs his last duty by ensuring the safety of the passengers and crew before saving himself, the person seeking freedom ensures the safety of their children and loved ones, before jumping overboard and swimming for the shore.ย 

Some may think that they can remain on board and hope that the ship will remain afloat but often the damage is too severe that sailing on to the sunset is not an option.

Abandoning ship is not a failure. Itโ€™s not defeating.ย Itโ€™s taking positive steps to overcome a situation that has become unsustainable.ย 

Remaining in an unhealthy relationship with such a toxic personality is likened to signing your own death warrant.ย 

Psychological abuse takes its toll on your health, not only your mental health but your physical health.ย 

Itโ€™s not selfish to take over the reins and start looking after yourself.ย 

You have a choice, to stay and be subjected to more of the same or give yourself a new start, a new life free from mind games and control.ย 

Related: When An Empath Loves A Narcissist, This Is How It Ends

The choice is yours and the journey ahead will be rough at times but worth it.ย Calm seas never made a good sailor.

For those dealing with family members who display this type of behavior, the advice from experts is the same.ย Distance yourself from the dysfunctional personality in order to gain peace and normality in your life.


Written by Anne McCrea
Originally appeared on Narcissist And Emotional Abuse
Printed with permission
Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion is now available on Amazon.
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