Accept These Truths To Find True Love
True love is desired by all, but is it understood by all?
Who doesn’t want to find true love in their lives and that special someone? Thinking about that perfect partner, being in love and finally getting married, are the things that everyone at some point has thought about. However, getting to experience true love is sometimes easier said than done. Committed relationships always start out well and full of excitement. However, as the relationship gradually progresses and things start to mature, it is when you realize that there is a lot you do not know about your partner.
You might end up finding out that your partner does not share the same interests and goals as you. This is one of the biggest reasons for friction in a relationship, which sometimes even results in its dissolution. But is breaking up always the best alternative?
“True love is when you value your lover’s happiness more than yours and make their happiness your first priority.”
If you feel that you have found your true love, giving up very easily is only going to hurt you more as time passes. It is not every day that you go around finding people who you consider to be your true love.
If you feel that you have found someone who makes you happy and understands you, then you shouldn’t let a few differences ruin what you share with him. You need to put in the effort every day. You need to work on your relationship every day. It takes a lot of compromise and sacrifice in order to build your relationship into a genuinely fulfilling one. To love and be loved in a positive, and healthy way is not effortless. True love means saying “no” to urges. True love means being conscious rather than hurtful, being compassionate rather than selfish, acknowledging your partner’s needs, being faithful. True love includes both big and small acts.
Related: It’s Never Too Late To Find True Love
Even though there are numerous lessons for finding true love, how can you define true love exactly? Truly loving someone means to be patient, loving, caring, supportive and faithful. Without these values, it is incredibly difficult to sustain a relationship. Lessons for finding true love are abundant, but which ones are actually effective? Some of the valuable lessons are as follows:
Accept these Truths For Finding True Love
Here are 8 truths you must accept in order to find true love.
1. Be the right person, before looking for the right person.
If you want to be in a happy relationship, it is important to be happy yourself first. Making yourself happy or finding your happiness is crucial to being in a committed and complete relationship. When you choose to be in a relationship with someone, you cannot expect him to be responsible for your happiness all the time. That can be mentally exhausting and draining.
Related: Signs of True Love & True Relationships
Depending on your partner for your happiness will not only make you an over-dependent person, but it can also severely affect your relationship.
2. Boundaries are non-negotiable.
Every person has their deal-breakers when it comes to their relationships, such as alcoholism, physical abuse, financial instability or something else. Whatever may the deal-breaker be, make sure that you are transparent with your partner regarding that, so that he knows what your sensitive points are.
If your relationship is based on true love, your partner will always make sure that he keeps your deal-breakers in mind and strive to always avoid situations like them. But if your partner does not care about any of that and intentionally chooses to indulge in stuff that makes you scared or uncomfortable, you are clearly not with the right person.
3. Communication is key.
Communication is one of the biggest tools to understand and foster well being in a relationship. To actively listen to the legitimate concerns of your partner is a tool used in successful relationships. Hence, one of the most important lessons for finding true love is to make sure that there is no communication gap between you two.
Without proper communication, it is next to impossible for a person to continue with a relationship. If you cannot talk to your partner about what is bothering you and vice-versa, then what is the point of being together? There are going to be times when you might do something that affects your partner in some way, and if he talks to you about it openly, then respect that.
“Relationships cannot grow without the proper amount of communication.”
The same thing is applicable to your partner too. True love is when your partner is always open, transparent and honest with you, regarding everything.
4. Having shared goals is vital.
You must figure out what you want to do with your life and how you are going to achieve your goals. At the same time, find out what your partner’s goals are so that you can help and support each other in achieving those goals.
It is not mandatory that both of you should think and function in the same way, otherwise it is not true love. However, if your interests and goals are more or less the same, it will help you understand each other. Additionally, it will also help you both in achieving those goals and make the most out of your lives together.
Related: 7 Signs Of True Love From A Man
5. Do not feel victimized.
You are the controller of your life. And oftentimes, to be a victim or not to be is our choice.
If you are in a relationship where your partner does not care about your physical or mental well-being, then leave that relationship. Do not stick around trying to change an irreparable situation and be a victim. Your life and your sanity is your own, and only you can bring about a change in it.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Victimhood is not attractive to healthy people. Not only that, you are not a victim. You are in control. Take it.
6. Your life should have a purpose.
Every person’s life should have a purpose, including you. Your only focus should not be your relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, giving your relationship priority is a good thing, but it shouldn’t be your only priority. You should be your first and foremost priority and you must live with purpose.
You can be a person who makes things happen or a person to whom things happen. Which do you want?
Living with purpose is about doing the tough things, and then reaping the rewards. When you sit with your feelings instead of eating them, or watching mindless TV or drinking five beers, you can get past them, understand them, and process them. When you go to the gym to re-energize, relieve anxiety, and get strong, you give yourself an immeasurable gift. When you eat healthy to fuel your body you can be present in mind, body, and spirit for your family, friends, partner, and yourself.
Related: The Difference Between Ego Love and True Love in Relationship
When you are in a loving relationship, you might want to spend all your time with your partner. Even though that is quite natural, you need some alone time too. This will help you from getting lost in the relationship and losing yourself in the process.
7. If you are getting hurt all the time, it’s not true love.
True love can never hurt you, and even if it does at times, it will always try to make things right. If you are with the right person, and he says something hurtful to you, he will always try to rectify the situation once he realizes his mistake.
Having arguments is a normal part of every relationship, but whether you are letting those arguments dominate your relationship is the real question. If your partner is giving you ample emotional support, you will see that you are able to overcome anything.
Related: True Love Is Built On Free Will And Free Choice
At the end of the day, it is not always about winning or losing an argument. It is about loving each other enough to get through every obstacle.
“Someone who truly loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you can be to handle but still wants you.”
8. True love accepts you as you are.
If your partner is asking or rather demanding you to give up doing all those things that you love doing, that is not true love. Your true love will always motivate you and push you to be the best version of yourself. They are never going to impose their decisions on you and expect you to abide by them, just because you love them. One of the most important lessons for finding true love is to accept your partner as they are.
True love might be hard to find, but if you hold on just a bit longer, you will see that it’s just around the corner. Always remember that the person who loves you truly will always keep you happy, no matter what.
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