Are you planning how to annoy a narcissist? This article discusses things that typically annoy narcissists or set them off.
The purpose of this article isnโt to find things to deliberately wind up narcissists. Itโs to discuss things that annoy narcissists. So that once you understand how they think, you can avoid conflict and drama for yourself. Whatโs the point of deliberately winding someone up if youโre gonna be on the receiving end?
Many people have no option but to spend time with narcissists. They could beย in your workplace, or in your family for example. Learning the things that annoy them helps you navigate their difficult personalities. And allows you to avoid things that set them off. But, if you deliberately want to annoy a narcissist, this article can be helpful for you.
Related: What Happens When You Argue With A Narcissist
How To Annoy A Narcissist: 5 Things To Know
Here are some things Iโve noticed that annoy most narcissistsโฆ
1. Telling Them What To Do
Although narcissists like bossing others around, they donโt like to be bossed around themselves. Narcissists see themselves as powerful and omnipotent. And they like to be in control of situations.
If you want them to do something, itโs best to ASK them in a way that doesnโt bruise their ego. For instance, if you want them to wear a mask in the workplace, saying โYou have to wear a face mask in hereโ might be met with hostility. Because the narcissist will be thinking, โWho are you to tell me what to do? I donโt HAVE to do anything.โ
Itโs likely to go down much better if you ask, โAre you OK wearing a face mask in here? It helps protect you as well as others.โ
In this example, youโre ASKING them to wear a face mask. Not telling them. And youโre giving them the respect of explaining why. And showing that you care for them too.
The narcissist feels much happier saying โYes I donโt mind wearing a face maskโ because they were asked, and THEY ultimately made the decision. Or at least they think they did.
Related: 7 Things You Can Say To Trigger a Narcissistโs Anger
2. Forgetting About Them
Most narcissists HATE being forgotten about. In their mind, it means theyโre insignificant. And this contradicts their delusional belief that the whole universe revolves around them. This incongruence stirs up strong feelings because narcissists like to maintain their delusions.
If you arrange to phone them, meet them, etc., do it at the agreed time. If something goes wrong, let them know ahead of time. If you forget or are late, they may take this as a huge insult. Potentially leading to drama and conflict. Any promise you make, try your best to fulfill it.
Narcissists are often unreliable themselves. But they donโt see the hypocrisy in expecting more from you. When you know a narcissist, itโs YOU that has to be the bigger person.
If a narcissist tells you they like two sugars in their coffee, try to remember this for next time. Whilst forgetting may not offend them that much, theyโll be warmer if they notice you remember little things like that. It shows them they matter. And that means a lot to most narcissists.
3. Raining On Their Parade
If a narcissist considers themselves skilled or knowledgeable in a certain area, they may become competitive if you display knowledge or skills in this same area.
For instance, if they consider themselves good at art, then expect them to put down your โlame attemptโ at art. Even if youโre as good as them, or better.
Narcissists seem to have 2 or 3 areas where they believe theyโre the best. And become particularly angry and competitive if they feel challenged in any way. For instance, my ex considered herself a good singer. Any time I sang, she would put down my supposed awful singing. Even if I was just messing about.
A narcissist friendย of mine would become angry and competitive if I ever talked about Buddhism. Because in her mind, she was the expert, not me. So I stopped talking about Buddhism around her. It just wasnโt worth it.
If you can recognize what they consider โtheirโ area of expertise, you can learn to avoid it when around them. Whilst this isnโt ideal, it beats getting dragged into a competitive and heated argument.
4. Being Laughed At
Whilst the narcissist may be happy laughing at your misfortunes, they donโt see the funny side when the tables are turned.
If the narcissist trips up, then itโs usually best to ask if theyโre OK. If they laugh at it themselves, then it may be OK for a little chuckle WITH them. But if not, try to keep it in.
Narcissists like to be seen as perfect. So they often have a humor bypass if the jokeโs on them. The same thing they laughed about you yesterday, could make them blow up today if it happened to them.
If you are thinking about how to annoy a narcissist (deliberately), then laughing at them can be the best way to do so.
Related: The Narcissistโs Bubbling Fury
5. Not Accepting Gifts
Occasionally narcissists do thoughtful things, and they might buy you a gift. Narcissists are incredibly sensitive souls and hate being vulnerable. And in their mind, buying you a gift leaves them vulnerable.
Narcissists can become angryย if you turn down a gift. For example, they buy you a t-shirt, and you say โNo thanks, I donโt like that colour.โ
To a narcissist, this is a slap in the face. They went out of their way for you, and you rudely rejected them. And this type of thing may anger them for days. โYou think youโre better than me?โ
In this scenario, itโs usually better to graciously accept the gift, even if you donโt wear it. Just pop it on occasionally when you know theyโre going to be about!
Want to know more about the things that annoy narcissists? Check this video out below!
Final Thoughts
When dealing with narcissists, you have to be the bigger person. They often have a different set of rules for themselves, as they have for others. Whilst they may laugh when you trip over, they donโt see the funny side when the shoeโs on the other foot.
Narcissists are incredibly sensitive. And harbour delusions of superiority they desperately cling to. Any challenge to their superiority is often met with hostility.
Narcissists are not easy to deal with. And to get on, you have to take into account their unique characteristics.
Narcissists are like big kids. You have to treat them gently and be careful not to offend them. Even though youโre unlikely to get the same respect in return.
If you deliberately want to annoy a narcissist and are sure you can manage the consequences then you may use the above five things to accomplish your mission.
Related: 22 Things The Injured Narcissist Says and What They Really Mean
Please visit Jon Rhodes atย www.Narcissisms.comย to learn more about narcissists and their behaviours.
Written By Jon Rhodes Originally Appeared On Narcissisms
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