4 Types of Emotionally Abusive Behavior

 / 

When you think of abusive behavior, the first thought that comes to mind is physical abuse. However, people can have a destructive effect on one another without causing a single bruise. Emotionally abusive behavior is a serious issue, and it can cause severe consequences to your psychological health.

The victims of emotionally destructive behavior are not always aware of the abuse. They sense that something bad is happening, but they are confused. This situation can go on for yearsโ€ฆ decades, even.

Keith Lust, continues; โ€œThe recovery is hard. The victim must face their trauma, make sense of it, and take steady steps toward rediscovering their self-confidence. Everything starts with recognition. You must recognize a problem, so you can solve it.โ€

Letโ€™s go through the most common types of emotionally abusive behavior, so it will be easier for you to recognize it from now on.

1. โ€œYouโ€™re All Mine and Mine Onlyโ€

This is a tricky one. The abuser will not isolate you from society with those very words. With their actions, however, they will make you believe that they are your sole support network. Step by step, they will isolate you from all your friends and family members. They will make you feel uncomfortable in their company.

When they disconnect you from your support system, youโ€™ll be all alone and all vulnerable. This allows the abuser to undermine your self-confidence and shape your character in the way that suits them. If you have a thought to call one of your friends and invite them for a cup of tea, youโ€™ll quickly dismiss it because youโ€™ll think that a guest in the house would disturb your partner.

There are few things you can do if you notice this behavior:

  • Do the very opposite of what they expect you to do. You have the right to have friends and maintain healthy relationships with family members.
  • Ask what your closest friends think about your partner. If they say they noticed how youโ€™re isolated because of him/her, then you should definitely consider their opinions. They may open your eyes.

Do you want to stay with this person? If your answer is yes, youโ€™ll have to provoke some changes in this behavior. If thereโ€™s no hope, the best thing you could possibly do for yourself is to leave.

2. Subtle Insults

Sometimes people will insult you in the sneakiest ways.

  • โ€œThat dress looks surprisingly good on you, considering your weight!โ€
  • โ€œOh, you got a good grade? But Mary still did better than you.โ€

These insults could come from your partner, parents, friendsโ€ฆ anyone. They are not serious when you donโ€™t take them seriously. When they come from someone important in your life and they make you feel miserable, however, youโ€™re a subject of emotionally abusive behavior.

Itโ€™s easy for you to start recognizing subtle, sneaky insults. They will be disguised with humor or even compliments, but they will still leave you swallowing your tears. Itโ€™s not that you canโ€™t take a joke. Itโ€™s not you; itโ€™s the โ€œjokeโ€ itself.

What can you do about this?

  • Try not to take it too seriously. Know your own worth! When youโ€™re the subject of backhanded compliments, just dismiss them.
  • You may throw the joke right back at them. Donโ€™t do this for a long time, though. Itโ€™s not for the sake of revenge. Do it once. Maybe they will get it when they understand how much it can hurt.
  • If they keep doing it, the only thing you can do is stop paying attention to their comments.

Read Verbal & Emotional Abuse

3. Leaving You with No Personal Space

So you meet someone new. They show up unannounced and you think thatโ€™s cute. The next day, however, you start getting calls on every single hour. Soon, this person is hijacking every single aspect of your life. When you want to go out with friends, they invite themselves to come with you. When you want to visit your parents, they push you to introduce them.

If you try to set boundaries, this person will be hurt. They will trap you by making you feel guilty. They may even suspect youโ€™re cheating and they will accuse you of it.

If this is still a new thing, itโ€™s best to put an end before you get co-dependent. If you see potential in this person and you want to give them a chance, talk about this issue and do not allow them to hijack your entire life.

4. Gaslighting

This highly manipulative behavior is especially hard on the victims, since itโ€™s almost impossible for them to reveal it. Itโ€™s a common technique that abusers, cult leaders, and dictators use. Itโ€™s done over a long period of time, so the victim is progressively brainwashed to the point they lose their entire personality and leave it blank for the abuser to mold it.

Through gaslighting, the abuser wants to plant the seed of doubt in you. They make you question your values, perception, and memory. Youโ€™re not sure if something happened and how it happened. Even if youโ€™re sure that this person said or did something, they will deny it. You question your sanity because this person consistently misdirects you. They do this with such confidence and fake compassion that you donโ€™t even notice how the gaslighter influences your perception of reality.

Unfortunately, itโ€™s not easy for the victims to recover from this kind of emotional abuse. The only solution is to leave the situation, but the gaslighter has them so trapped that they are practically powerless. Being aware of this abusive method certainly helps. If you notice that someone is trying to gaslight you, cut the connection. If youโ€™re too deep in this relation, consult a therapist or ask someone close to help you leave.

Read The 4 Levels of Gaslighting And How It Can Affect You

Emotional abuse is harsh because itโ€™s not easy to recognize. It doesnโ€™t leave bruises on your body, but it certainly bruises your psyche. Donโ€™t allow that to happen. Be strong. Be stronger!

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Deal With An Obsessive Ex That Won’t Leave You Alone: 5 Steps You Can Take

How To Deal With Obsessive Ex: Urgent Steps You Can Take

Dealing with an obsessive ex is one of the most horrible experiences one can go through. What are the best ways to handle obsessive people? What are the effective steps you can take when it comes to dealing with an obsessive ex? Let’s find out!

There are certain people who just canโ€™t handle being dumped. They go crazy. They hate losing their โ€œcontrolโ€ and โ€œpowerโ€ over their partners.

Recently my good friend ended an abusive relationship. Thankfully he realised he was in a relationship with a narcissist and that his only way forward was without her. Soon after the relationship ended, he found a new partner โ€” he was ecstatic, he was just about to ride off into the sunset with his sweetheart.

There was one issue โ€” his e



Up Next

7 Signs Someone Is Projecting Onto You: Are You Bearing Someone Else’s Burden?

Signs Someone Is Projecting Their Emotional Baggage On You

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and it felt like they were accusing you of things that didn’t seem like you? It’s as if they’re dumping their own issues on you, leaving you scratching your head, wondering what is happening. Well, this is just one of the many signs someone is projecting their emotional baggage on you.

You’re gradually realizing that you are being blamed for things that’re not your fault at all. You are being accused to be the kind of person you are not. It’s as though they’re running their private movie theater, and you’ve become their projection screen.

But before we get int



Up Next

Dog Whistling Narcissist: 8 Ways Narcissists Use This Covert Manipulation Tactic

Dog Whistling Narcissist: Covert Ways They Manipulate You

Have you ever had the feeling that when you are talking to someone, there’s a hidden message they’re trying to get across to you? A message that feels insulting, condescending and hurtful? If you answered yes, then you are dealing with a dog whistling narcissist, my friend.

These people are experts at sending subtle messages that are extremely hurtful and humiliating, but only you understand it, not anyone else. When a narcissist uses dog whistling, their main motive is to manipulate you and keep you under their control. They’ll use it to dominate you, and put you down, while pretending to be harmless.

But what is dog whistling, and how narcissists use dog whistling? Let’s find out, shall we?



Up Next

8 Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like everything you are saying or feeling is being dismissed and invalidated, even though you know you’re right? If you answered yes, then you were subjected to gaslighting. If you have experienced this, then remember these 8 phrases to shut down gaslighting like a boss.

When someone makes you question your reality, it can feel extremely frustrating and depressing. Weโ€™ve all been there at some point. These little digs can make you feel like youโ€™re on thin ice, be it from a friend, family member or that one co-worker.

But hey, you’ve come to the



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasnโ€™t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect faรงade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque