How often do you push yourself? Do you aim high in everything you do?
Youโve heard of S.M.A.R.T goals, correct?
In orderย notย to set yourself for failure, experts tell us, you need to pick goals that are smart, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-oriented.
This makes sense, of course. But here is the wrinkleโ S.M.A.R.T goals were created as a managerial tool in organizations. On a personal level, easily achievable aspirations are demotivating. โEasyโ doesnโt equal โfulfilling.โ Often, it doesnโt even give you a temporary burst of happiness.
There is just something about working hard to achieve what you aim for and getting it. Oh, the high you feel!
One of the most important (but perhaps somewhat neglected) ingredients for the successful completion of anything we set our minds on is what is known asย the Pygmalion effect, or the power of positive expectations.
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As the story from Greek mythology goes, a legendary sculptor from CyprusโPygmalionโ carved a statue of the ideal woman. He stared at her day and night, worshiping his creation. And he ended up falling in love with her. Then, at a festival for Aphroditeโthe Greek Goddess of Love, he prayed that she sends his way a wife exactly like the statue. The Goddess heard his prayers and insteadโshe brought the sculpture to life. And they lived happily ever after.
The moral of the story is thatย positive reinforcement can lead to favorable outcomes.
Fast forward a few hundred centuriesโto 1963. Social psychologistย Robert Rosenthalย created a test where he told a group of student lab workers that certain rats in the lab were โmaze brightโ while others were โmaze dull,โ when in fact the rats were separated between the groups randomly.
The results confirmed the hypothesis of the testโthe students subconsciously treated the smart rats differently. That is, they expected them to behave more intelligently, and guess what โthey did! They learned the mazes much faster than the โdullโ rats.
Similar results were later done with school children. Rather amazingly, teachersโ higher expectations of some students (after being told they had the exceptional potential for growth) made the students perform better on tests when in fact, the test groups were formed at random.
The take-home idea here is this: expectations can alter reality.
Letโs take this a bit further and on a personal level.
Setting big goals and expecting of yourself to achieve them, can give you a much better chance of actually getting there. Itโs a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecyโby anticipating a certain positive or negative outcome, we may engage in behaviors to either improve or sabotage our chances to get there.ย [1]
This idea runs contrary to what weโve been often advised by gurus and suchโto not set big goals as we increase our odds of failing. Hairy goals are scary when we think about them in the absolute, yes. Even a bit stressful.
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But at the same time, in order to do better, we need the scary andย we need the discomfort. If all is great and rosy, then why change, right?
Therefore, you must aim high and set big Empire-state goals.
How you plan for achieving these is a different matter. This is where the common advice comes inโbreak The Goal into smaller onesโso small that you canโt say โNoโ to doing it. As in โtake a 5-minute walk, eat one apple a day, write one sentenceโโdepending on what you set out for yourself.
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But here is another catch. Not every tall mountain you want to conquer should be out of reach. You need the tall ones and you need the medium ones too, just so that you can practice and move forward.
So, ideally, you want to have on your list few Everests or K2s (number one and two highest mountains in the world). That is, the โI-must-be-crazy-dreaming-itโs-possibleโ kind of goals. But you must also keep some Muztagh Atas or Ismoil Somoni Peaks (number forty-nine and fifty highest mountains)โstill challenging but S.M.A.R.T too.
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And if something is too effortless, know that itโs not a proper goal. Find a better one.
It goes down to thisโwhen you go to the gym, for instance, do you want to have a great workout or just an OK one? And then, do you think you will lose weight by having it easy or by breaking a sweat?
Simply put โ The magic happens when you push yourself.
In the end, remember that when you strive for high and you donโt get there, you are still in a good place. You have a better chance to get the closest alternative.
And how to be ready for the ups and downs that come with every success trajectory? Simple.
Itโs like the saying goes: Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Are you ready to push yourself and aim high in everything you do?
[1]ย The opposite of the Pygmalion effect is calledย the Golem effect. Itโs a psychological phenomenon in which lower expectations placed by others or the individual themselves lead to poorer performance by the individual. It is a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. It was also coined by Robert Rosenthal. Itโs another mythical creature from the Greek mythology, who was created to fight evil but turned into a monster instead, as his creator always expected.
Written by: Evelyn Marinoff
Originally appeared on: Evelyn Marinoff
Republished with permission.
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