When They’re In A Love Triangle
ARIES – Breaks both hearts, starts talking to more people the same day.
GEMINI – Marries both of them, fakes death and builds new life abroad where they do it again.
LEO – Arranges a threesome, gets bored and dumps them.
TAURUS – Marries both and kills one when they get caught.
CANCER – They will choose the one they’ve known the longest and regret it a few years later when it’s too late.
VIRGO – Marries both, successfully maintains a double life until they die and their families fight over their stuff.
LIBRA – Turns it into a polyamorous relationship.
SCORPIO – Has a threesome, gets jealous and buries them both alive.
SAGITTARIUS – Dates both people until the sex gets boring or they meet someone new.
CAPRICORN – Uses both relationships to sell x-rated videos online, becomes famous and dumps them both after earning enough money.
PISCES – Gets ghosted by both of them.
AQUARIUS – Ghosts both of them.