The Last Goodbye
For this first and the last time I say goodbye to you, even when you used to say it a thousand times.
I always asked you to say “see you” and never a bye in this lifetime.
But you laughed it away and called me silly, and see, here we are… you blooming there and me drooping here, alone…
But now I know, as I write this here…
Life has its own purpose and it is beyond the dos and don’ts of the society’s lay…
So now I shall explore and pave my own way…
For I am born for a different cause, in finding which I made the delay
I gave you what yours and mine too, in the best (I could) way…
But now, I take charge to find my purpose, and explore my true way…
for unless I do, I will have to reborn and experience this bitter – sweet cycle ,in which, you may again come my way….
In the starry night, she penned it in her diary for one last time, an adios poem, for her love, which she knew would never reach to him; or even if it did… never would it reach his heart or mind.
She capped her pen, with a sigh and recalled his words to her, earlier that evening….
“…Look, for me, my happiness is most important and you don’t give me happiness, so I would like you to leave me alone”. He had said, keeping his eyes off her.
“But for me, my Life is with you…. With you, Life is beautiful”, she had said.
“For me it’s not the same. My life is important but for you, has no space. Then why not move on, think beyond… and be happy like we should be?” He had asked.
Teary eyed, as she was, she forced a petite smile and assured, “I will be happy. Soon… very soon.”
She knew that very minute, all this time she was wrong, and he was right.
Her Life was not about him. It was beyond. For she, had always believed in the ‘beauty of life’.
Happiness was not in forcing him to be with her, but in letting him be happy his way and walking a new path to find her own.
That day she rose, not from her chair, but in her thoughts and belief.
She rose with a promise to herself that she would never cry again, not for a day, or a minute or even a moment; not even when the faintest of memories pass through her heart or mind.
She rose to a new level, where she became acquainted with the true meaning of happiness, which was beyond the past, beyond this moments and definitely, much beyond this relationship.
She determined to herself, “I shall gift him his happiness, even if it lies in keeping him away from me. For no matter how much I try, or I feel… I cannot compel him to acknowledge or appreciate or reciprocate. He has his own definition of life and for him only that is true.”
She turned around one last time for a glimpse of him and wiping off her tears, she smiled and said aloud, “Life never guaranteed that it will be easy, but it certainly is beautiful and worthy. So, I shall now, ‘love to live, than live to love’, unlike I once did and explore it like never before. So here I bid to you my Last Goodbye, for life is beautiful, and it’s certainly beyond you!”
Stopping to play with her pen, she placed it aside, and thought to herself, “Life is beautiful. It never lets me down. Even with the pain, it offers determination to resume and retry, never give up or die…. Blessed I am for I have this life, and path, which no matter how difficult, but for me it waits, it lies…..”
That night, she smiled… smiled once again, and perhaps for a lifetime!
– – – Lifeline Creations by Tanu©
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