You’ve been seeing someone for a while, things are going great, and you’re starting to feel like this could turn into something real. But then, one day, they start pulling away – they start soft ghosting you.
At first, it’s small—maybe they take longer to reply on a random Monday or they seem a little short. You think it’s no big deal, maybe they’re just having a tough day. But soon enough, their replies get shorter, and they start disappearing more often.
They’re too busy for plans, don’t ask about your weekend anymore, and you can’t remember the last time they initiated anything. You decide to give them space, hoping it’s just a phase, but the truth is: you’ve been soft ghosted.
Soft ghosting is when someone slowly fades away without completely cutting you off. They still watch your Instagram Stories, maybe toss out a couple of emojis in response to your texts, but they’re not actually engaging with you anymore. You’ll notice the vibe shift—what used to be long chats turns into awkward, one-word replies.
And the worst part is that you’re the only one trying to keep things going. You’re putting in all the effort, but they just throw the ball back in your court and leave you hanging.
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This feeling obviously does not feel great. But first lets understand why people choose to soft ghost someone:
- They avoid confrontation and dislike discussing feelings.
- They want to keep the door open in case they decide to come back later.
- They believe this approach is kinder compared to rejecting someone outright.
- They’re trying to push you away so that you end things instead of them.
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Now, coming to the most important part, how to handle if you think you are being soft ghosted?
How To Handle Soft Ghosting
1. Don’t jump to conclusions too fast. Before assuming you’ve been soft ghosted, consider that they might genuinely have something going on. Look at your usual communication pattern—how often do you text? What’s the longest gap between replies? Give them the benefit of the doubt first.
2. Test the waters. If it’s been longer than usual since you last talked, send a casual message like, “Hey, it’s been a while—hope you’re doing okay.” If their reply is vague, brief, or just plain off, take note. This might be one of the signs of soft ghosting.
3. Sit back and watch. You’ve sent the message and done your part. Now, if days pass without a meaningful response, it’s time to step back and see what’s happening—or rather, what’s not happening.
4. Take the hint and move on. If they’re clearly not invested, you don’t need a formal announcement to know what’s up. Soft ghosting is your closure. Sure, a direct conversation would be ideal, but honesty works both ways. If they can’t be upfront, you don’t owe them the effort of chasing clarity.
5. Beware of their comeback. Sometimes, soft ghosters pop back in like nothing happened, hoping to slide back into your life. Don’t fall for it. Remember how they handled things the first time—it says a lot about them.
6. Protect your self-worth. Getting soft ghosted sucks, no sugarcoating it. It’s awkward, hurtful, and sometimes downright embarrassing. But remember, this is about them and their inability to handle the situation, not about your value or worth. Don’t let their behavior shake your confidence.
Soft ghosting sucks, no doubt about it. But always remember—you deserve commitment, honesty, and someone who’s willing to show up for you. If they can’t handle that, it’s 100% on them, not you.
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