When I Said “I’m Over Him”, What I Really Meant Was

When I said “I’m over him” what I meant was, he still makes me laugh when we talk, I still pray for him to love me again, I still wish for him at 11:11, I cry myself to sleep almost every night thinking about what we had, what we could’ve had, I still think of him all the time, I’m still in love with him, I’m still in pain, I still want him and love him with everything I have. When someone tells me he doesn’t deserve me I still think yes he does, and I still answer maybe I didn’t deserve him that’s why he left, even though I know it’s not right. I’m still jealous of the girl he’s now in love with, and I still wish it was me, I still have his number and haven’t deleted the texts he sent, and I still got his picture, and I’m so not over him…