The Zodiac Signs Comforting You After A Breakup
Comforting you after a breakup
ARIES: Uses it as an excuse to key someone’s car like they’ve always wanted to
TAURUS: “At least you’re one step closer to finding The One”
GEMINI: Sends you an article about the science of heartbreak
CANCER: Moves in with you so you’re not alone
LEO: “Whatever, you know they’ll never do better than you”
VIRGO: “I didn’t want to say anything before, but here’s a list I’ve been keeping of all the reasons they weren’t good enough for you”
LIBRA: “Maybe they’ll still want to be friends?”
SCORPIO: Confiscates your phone so you can’t send anything you’ll regret
SAGITTARIUS: “Now you’ll have more time to hang out!!!”
CAPRICORN: “Do you miss them or do you miss the validation?”
AQUARIUS: Sets you up with their favorite ex
PISCES: Makes you a melancholy Shoegaze mixtape and a memory box to fill with relics
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