How The Zodiac Signs Ask You Out

ARIES: Trips you to get your attention then ask for your number

TAURUS: Puts on Marvin Gaye and asks if you want to have a pajama party

GEMINI: Invites you out to coffee and doesn’t show up

CANCER: Invites you over for an in-bed therapy session where they help you process past romantic failures

LEO: Flashing neon sign around their neck saying “Who wants a piece of this?

VIRGO: Hands you their resume with referrals from all their past lovers

LIBRA: Gets your name tattooed across their ass and ask if you want to see it

SCORPIO: Shows up at your house “because they were in the neighborhood”

SAGITTARIUS: Passes a note around the whole class asking if anyone thinks they’re hoty/n

CAPRICORN: Presents you with a letter they wrote 2 years ago confessing their love

AQUARIUS: Invites you to a kickback and introduces you as “a friend”

PISCES: Reads you a poem about the ocean and looks at you coyly, but expectantly.