He Is a Good Person, Just Not My Person – Toxic Relationship Quotes
He is a good person but not a good lover… I can see how much he supports everyone but forgets to be present for me. I could see him as a gentleman, but he fails to be my man.
– Life With Devv
He is a good person. He remembers to call his mother every Sunday, volunteers at the local shelter, and is always the first to lend a hand when someone needs help.
His kindness is evident to everyone around him. But when it comes to our relationship, he is not a good lover.
In public, he’s the man everyone admires—charming, considerate, and dependable. But behind closed doors, I often feel like a shadow in his life. He listens intently to his friends’ problems, offers them advice, and checks in regularly.
Yet, when I share my feelings or seek comfort, he seems distant or dismissive. This pattern leaves me feeling isolated and unimportant.
I remember the countless evenings we spent together, sitting in silence, each engrossed in our own worlds. I would glance at him, hoping for a spark of connection, a shared laugh, or a tender touch.
But his eyes were always elsewhere—on his phone, the television, or lost in thought. I felt like a guest in my own relationship, yearning for intimacy that never came.
I tried to communicate my feelings, hoping for change. I expressed my need for emotional closeness, for shared moments of vulnerability. But my concerns were often met with indifference or defensiveness.
He would say, “I’m just not good at expressing emotions,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Over time, I began to question my worth and whether I was asking for too much.
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable can lead to feelings of loneliness, even when you’re physically together. It’s like being in a room with someone who is emotionally miles away.
I felt like I was constantly reaching out, only to grasp at air. The warmth and connection I craved were always just out of reach.
I started to notice the subtle signs of emotional neglect in our relationship. He would forget important dates, dismiss my achievements, and rarely offer words of affirmation.
Related: 6 Ways To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Your Significant Relationships
When I was upset, he would retreat, leaving me to navigate my emotions alone. I felt like I was carrying the emotional weight of our relationship, always giving, rarely receiving.
I began to feel more like a roommate than a partner. Our conversations became transactional, focused on daily logistics rather than emotional connection.
The intimacy that once brought us together had faded, replaced by a growing chasm of indifference. I felt unseen, unheard, and unloved.
I realized that I was in a relationship where my emotional needs were not being met. I was with someone who was a good person but not a good lover.
I deserved a partner who would cherish me, who would be present and engaged, who would offer me the emotional support I needed.
Leaving was not easy. I grappled with guilt and self-doubt, questioning whether I was being unreasonable.
But I knew that staying in an emotionally unavailable relationship where I felt emotionally neglected was slowly eroding my self-worth. I needed to choose myself, to prioritize my emotional well-being.
Now, as I reflect on our relationship, I understand that being a good person does not automatically make someone a good partner. Emotional availability, empathy, and intimacy are essential components of a healthy relationship.
I deserve to be with someone who not only supports others but also cherishes and prioritizes me.
To anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, know that your feelings are valid. You deserve a partner who sees you, hears you, and loves you deeply. Don’t settle for emotional crumbs when you deserve a feast of love and connection.
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