All The Zodiac Signs Really Want Are

ARIES: A reason to go off

TAURUS: To be splayed out under a tree with a few good books and a few good friends without the threat of a time limit

GEMINI: To have hidden their real feelings so deeply behind humor that it is plausible to deny that they even exist

CANCER: A simple thank you (without having to ask) for all the times they’ve put your emotions first

LEO: Recognition for how emotionally expressive they are

VIRGO: For their physical needs to be transformed into data so they can synthesize it and calculate a proper response

LIBRA: To know if their emotional response is logical and therefore valid,

SCORPIO: To crack you open like an egg before throwing you into a boiling whirlpool of water and vinegar

SAGITTARIUS: The ability to abandon anything (or anyone) that doesn’t immediately spark joy

CAPRICORN: Certainty, but they’ll settle for a series of mundane tasks that make them feel useful

AQUARIUS: To know the science behind what distinguishes an idea from an emotion

PISCES: A boundless love; or at least a heartbreak poignant enough to fuel their poetry