Accept that the narcissist is what he/she is. They are totally incapable of love and deep connection. Nothing you did or didn’t do would have changed the outcome. You were not loved for YOU as a person. You were viewed as an object and loved for your utility not for your individuality. You were used for the perks you were able to provide. You were their human helium tank that maintained their inflated view of themselves. I know it sounds harsh and it’s a very painful realization to accept. But the acceptance of this fact is also the very thing that will accelerate your healing and set you free.