The festive season is finally here, with all it’s twinkling lights and merry jingles. However, chances are you might bump into an unwanted guest in the holiday parties or family get-togethers you attend – a narcissist! Narcissists at Christmas are pesky, annoying and they do nothing other than spread negativity.
The holiday season is a season of giving and of being thankful, but when you have a narcissist in the midst of it all, they are going to do what they do best – show their self-centeredness and lack of empathy in leaps and bounds.
However, once you are able to understand what narcissists do to ruin Christmas, and how to deal with a narcissist during the holidays, you will be able to enjoy yourself much more. Not letting a narcissist ruin the holiday season is one of the best feelings to exist, trust me on that!
Let’s find out more about narcissists at Christmas!
Related: 7 Things Narcissists Do To Ruin Christmas
What Do Narcissists At Christmas Do To Ruin It For Everyone?
1. Narcissists always try to steal the spotlight from everyone else.
Narcissists at Christmas crave attention and admiration, which is why they want to make sure all eyes are on them. They will try to dominate every conversation and will turn every gathering into a stage for them to boast about their achievements and experiences.
Through such self-centeredness, narcissists do not leave room for others to share their joy and stories because they always shift the focus back to themselves. This kind of behaviour can destroy a shared feeling of celebrating together that is basically the essence of the holiday season.
2. Narcissists will stonewall you or give you the silent treatment without any reason.
Even though they don’t have any reason for doing so, they will still go out of their way to make you feel insulted and ignored, just so they can feel powerful for five minutes.
The holidays are all about feeling the love, and joy of togetherness, which is why they do the opposite – by giving you the silent treatment, they are destroying the beauty of the holidays.
A narcissist and Christmas means they will withdraw emotionally from you or stop talking to you altogether, because they know this sort of a behaviour will have a bigger impact and people will talk about that more.
3. Narcissists will create drama wherever they go.
What do you think is the hidden connection between a narcissist and Christmas? They get to cause the most drama during this time!
For narcissists, emotional drama is like gasoline; they are experts at fuelling it. They will gladly start conflicts, deliberately mention sensitive subjects, or play family members against each other. Consequently, they also try to cause a stir in such situations and place themselves in the middle of everything.
By doing so, these manipulations help them maintain a sense of power over other people while undermining peace and harmony that ought to be there during the festive season.
Related: When Festivities Turn Sour: 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Ruin Holidays And Birthdays
4. Narcissists have absurdly high and unrealistic expectations from you and everyone else.
Narcissists at Christmas are a nuisance because they hold grandiose notions about gifts, celebrations, and the way in which others should meet their expectations. They set standards that are impossibly high assuming that everything will align with what they have in mind perfectly.
When this fails to occur as planned through their extravagant hopes, disappointment and conflict may follow suit. Such clashing between an idealized version of holidays on one hand and an imperfect reality on another ends up causing a lot of tension or dissatisfaction within the family or social group.
5. Narcissists have zero empathy.
Narcissism prevents individuals from genuinely interacting with others during the holiday season – a time when people focus on unity and emotional connections. This is why, it becomes difficult for narcissists to participate in sharing joy with others because their self-absorbed nature makes it impossible for them to get close with anyone else.
It is during this season that such people fail to make genuine connections, and instead end up giving them a hard time even though they are supposed to be having fun during Christmas.
6. Narcissists try to “hoover” you back into a relationship.
If you are unfortunate enough to have a narcissistic person as you ex, then be rest assured, they will try to get back in touch with you during the holidays, and will try to lure you back into their life.
They don’t miss you nor have they realized your value; they do this so that they can control you again. Because narcissists love to make people miserable, they will go out of their way to get your attention, and even try to make you remember all the Christmases that you have spent with them in the past.
If you don’t give them the attention they’re looking for, they will take it up a notch and will text you pictures with their current partner to try and make you feel jealous. Or they will grovel and beg you to take them back, but this is all an act.
7. Narcissists will always ignore and disrespect your boundaries.
Narcissists at Christmas is like having a pesky fly with you at all times. Narcissists don’t care about boundaries, and always try to violate them.
Such acts could involve ignoring someone’s dietary preferences, insisting on certain traditions or activities without consulting others, or entering one’s personal space without permission.
Their behaviour causes a lot of discomfort which then leads to strained relationships, hampers the spirit of the festive season, and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
Now that we have talked about the reality of narcissists at Christmas, let’s find out how to deal with a narcissist during the holidays.
Related: The Grinch Within: 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Ruin Holidays And Special Moments
How To Deal With A Narcissist During The Holidays?
1. No matter what happens, don’t compromise your boundaries.
It is important to establish clear boundaries with a narcissist during the holiday season. Identify what you are willing to tolerate, or not, and assertively communicate your limits. When it comes to your boundaries, be unyielding and consistent regardless of the pushback or resistance that may arise.
Through setting boundaries, you’re asserting your autonomy and protecting your emotional and mental well-being.
2. Focus on giving neutral responses.
How to deal with a narcissist during the holidays? This is one of the best things you can do.
Getting into arguments or giving in to a narcissist’s provocation only inflates their ego and worsens the situation. Instead, choose neutral responses so as not to give them attention or validation.
Stay calm and composed, only reply with ambiguous statements and divert attention from negative conversations. By refusing to play along with their melodrama, you can keep your emotions in check, and not give them the satisfaction of riling you up.
3. Be prepared for narcissistic behaviour in advance.
A narcissist and Christmas goes hand in hand, doesn’t it? Create a supportive environment as part of your preparation for potential narcissistic behaviour. This might need informing close friends or family members about the situations and discussing ways to handle them.
The difference made in having a game plan together with allies can be great. This could involve setting up signals when you require backup or creating diversions to take away attention from the narcissist.
Instead of carrying all the stress alone, it should be treated as team work where people come together and therefore mitigate their effects on the actions of narcissists at Christmas.
4. Practice compassionate detachment.
Being compassionate yet uninvolved could be another effective strategy if you are wondering how to deal with a narcissist during the holidays. Thus, this means looking at their conduct without becoming attached emotionally to what is happening around you.
Understand that their acts mirror their own issues and do not represent an attack against you personally. Through compassionately detaching yourself, you may still feel empathy for them due to their struggles but do not make their actions determine how you are emotionally affected by them.
Related: Hate Christmas: 8 Things I Hate About Christmas and Reason Why
5. Choose your battles carefully.
If you are thinking about how to deal with a narcissist during the holidays, then always remember that there is no need to confront every issue with them. Consider the relevance of each dispute prior to deciding whether it is worth addressing or letting go.
Likewise, sometimes peace and harmony are more important than a narcissist’s stupid games. Pick fights that matter most to you and when you feel things are going out of hand.
Bottomline
Narcissistic behaviours are magnified during the holiday season because it is inherently an emotional period. Their intention is to undermine the spirit of unity, happiness, and love that the holidays bring and make families fight among themselves.
Handling them smartly and in the right way can help you deal with them better, and you get to save Christmas too!
Have you ever had to deal with narcissists at Christmas? Do you think a narcissist and Christmas are intricately related? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
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