Ever wondered why some relationships crumble? Letโs explore 8 common things that ruin a relationship and sabotage love to understand the pitfalls and safeguard our connections!
Relationships can be difficult, but they donโt have to be. One of the things that makes them difficult is when people worry obsessively over things they probably shouldnโt.
What people worry about varies from person to person, but here are 8 common things that many people stress about that can ruin relationships. Think about it. Do any of these sounds like you?
8 Things That Ruin A Relationship (And How To Avoid Them)
1. One of the things that destroy relationships is overthinking your partner might cheat.
Everyone wants to be their partnerโs โone and only,โ right? Somewhere, deep inside (or not so deep), we think that once weโre in our relationship, our boyfriend or girlfriend wonโt even notice anyone else but us.
But letโs think about this for a minute. No one becomes blind to attractive people in the world just because they start dating someone. Itโs pretty normal, actually. But not everyone acts on their attraction.
What you need to do is work on your self-esteem so that you think that if your partner wanted to cheat on you then they donโt appreciate a quality person like yourself, and so you wouldnโt want them anyway.
2. Worrying that your partner might break up with you.
Again, as I said in the first point, fearing that your boyfriend or girlfriend might dump you is rooted in low self-esteem.
Plus, itโs just wasted negative energy. If you feel good about yourself, then you wouldnโt worry about them breaking up with you. You should think that youโre a real catch. Because you are! Have the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you.
That way, you wonโt put negative emotions out there and ruin the relationship.
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3. That youโre not good enough for your partner.
Okay, you are going to start seeing a theme here. Self-esteem, self-esteem, self-esteem! It all comes down to having good self-esteem.
If you think youโre not good enough for your partner, why do you think this? Do you think youโre too fat? Too short? Too uneducated? Too poor? Too shy? Too unattractive? And the list goes on.
Well, get over it! Realize that you are good enough for your partner. Iโve heard many people say that the most attractive quality in a person is self-confidence. So, if a supermodel is unsure of herself, many men would find her โless attractive.โย It is one of the things that ruin a relationship
Conversely, if an average, overweight person exudes self-love and confidence, that is much more attractive.
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4. Your partner is not good enough for you.
Another thing that ruin relationships is, maybe you have too much self-esteem. Okay, I think thatโs an oxymoron. But, there is a fine line between having self-confidence and being egotistical. Actually, people who come across as egotistical donโt really love themselves.
They just want to appear like they do, which is why they put so much effort into having other people focus on them. However, with that said, you need to accept and love your partner for who they are.
Everyone is perfect in his or her own way. But that doesnโt mean that everyone is perfect for you. If you donโt feel like the two of you are a good match, then move on! A happy relationship comes from compatibility and equality.
5. Your partnerโs friends and family donโt like you.
Hello? Self-esteem again? Why wouldnโt they like you? Are you a horrible person? Probably not! If they donโt like you, then one of three things are going on:
(1) you really are a horrible person (probably not!),
(2) they are a bad judge of character (maybe), or
(3) they are just very, very different people than you are (think extrovert vs. introvert or overly intellectual vs. not so much).
And honestly, #3 is probably the most likely. If #3 is true, itโs really no big deal. So what if youโre different? If everyone was the same, then the world would be a very boring place.
6. Your partner prefers to be with other people over you.
Iโm not going to say it again. You know what Iโm thinking (yep, self-esteem issues). Okay, so even if your partner does spend a lot of time with his or her friends, family, or at work, does that mean that they donโt love you? Absolutely not!
Everyone is different! An extrovert and an introvert have a very difficult time understanding each other. Extroverts love and need to spend time with a lot of people. Often. Introverts donโt need that. So it can seem like a personal rejection to the introvert, but itโs not.
Itโs just that you are different. Spending time with other people does not equal rejection!
7. Your partner isnโt attracted to you anymore.
This one could be based in self-esteem, or it could be that a lot of time has gone by and your partner just doesnโt seem to be as sexually responsive to you as he or she did in the beginning of the relationship.
Actually, thatโs not an uncommon occurrence. But donโt fret. If you have gained weight or lost sight of taking care of yourself, then do something about it! But if itโs just a natural progression through different phases of a relationship, then donโt worry about it.
You will settle into a natural rhythm. If you donโt, then talk about it and meet in the middle. And if that doesnโt work for you, then move on!
8. You donโt have enough sex (or too much).
As I said in #7, maybe itโs just a relationship phase. Or maybe one partner has physically changed a lot. Or maybe one partner seems like a nymphomaniac compared to the otherโs sex drive.
Either way, this situation calls for having an open, honest conversation. Communication is key to a good, healthy relationship. So if your sex life isnโt what you want it to be, then just talk to each other. Sharing perspectives helps clear the air and helps you both understand each other.
To sum it all up, remember two things. First, love yourself! You are beautiful (or handsome) and awesome! Donโt let any worrying mess up your relationship. If you donโt love yourself, then work on your self-esteem.
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It can be done! And second, worrying is like praying for something you donโt want to happen. Negative energy aimed toward your partner isnโt productive. It just adds to the problem. So love yourself, embrace the positive, and be happy.
So these were some of the unnecessary things that ruin a relationship beyond repair. Share your thoughts about it in the comments below!
Written by Carol Morgan
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