Is it Possible to Find True Love Online?
Online dating went from being a novelty not too long ago, to almost becoming the norm right now. This comes with its share of pros and cons, and some detractors. While some lament the lack of human interaction and engagement, others like the convenience it offers. Big players like Tinder have become synonymous with online dating, and online dating is often seen as shallow and superficial.
But contrary to popular belief, people can and do find true love online all the time. It’s all about having realistic expectations, choosing the right medium, and letting the real you shine. Let’s take a look at how you should approach online dating if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
Build Your Profile Carefully
Your profile should not only be used to show what kind of person you are, but what kind of person you’re looking for. You can have two approaches with this. Either you want to cast a wide net so you can attract a wide range of people and get a lot of dates, or write it more specifically if you know exactly what you want and are trying to narrow down the choices.
It’s always good to be specific if you’ve dated enough and are looking for an actual match. That means that you should not only state what you like and don’t like in a partner, but let people know why as well. You shouldn’t have a grocery list of what you’re looking for, but you still need to have a few non negotiables.
Consider Other Outlets
There are tons of other services out there besides the popular options. There are even services that use technology in order to match people with their ideal match.
Services like JustKiss, for instance, use market leading matchmaking tools to connect you with people you are most likely to match with. They’ve been in the business for over 20 years, and have been able to bring thousands of couples together. And what’s great about services like these is that the people you’ll find there also have a long-term relationship in mind, and the matchmaking allows you to prevent wasting your time on dates that won’t go anywhere.
Be Positive
It’s also important that you have a positive attitude when dating. Online dating can take some time, but you have to be ready to dedicate yourself to it. No matter how many times you’ve been hurt or disappointed in the past, you still have to bring your A game and try to be positive. According to Psychology Today, people who emit positive energy are more likely to bring “reciprocally nourishing interactions.”
That doesn’t mean that you should fake happiness to get who you want, but negativity could also be a sign that you’re not ready for a relationship right now. Maybe you’re still recovering from your last relationship. No man or woman should have to suffer for what your previous partner(s) did. So, make sure that you’re in the right headspace before you jump in.
Be Authentic
This is one of the most important things to remember if you’re trying to find true love online. You can’t find a true connection by trying to be whatever you think Mr. or Mrs. Right will want. You also need to take a look at what you think they are looking for, and who you actually are.
You might be looking for a healthy, adventurous, and spontaneous person, but you are the total opposite. Don’t try to trick them into believing that you’re the one, as the real you will eventually pop to the surface. You might also find out that it wasn’t what you actually wanted, and fell for the image of it.
The right person will be attracted to the real you, with all your quirks and seeming imperfections. Unless you’re 100% truthful about yourself, you’ll never be able to find the right one. You also have to be truthful in your profile pictures, and don’t try to hide anything you feel self-conscious about. Make sure that at least one of your pictures shows you from head to toe. The right person will love you for who you actually are, and that includes your natural beauty. If they don’t, then that simply means that it wasn’t meant to be.
Have an Actual Conversation Before You Meet
If you don’t want to waste time, you should also try to have an actual conversation with the person before you meet. This will allow you to see if you have the chemistry to at least carry on a conversation. If things are awkward and carrying on feels more like pulling teeth than a meaningful back and forth, then this could be a sign that the two of you aren’t compatible.
Learn to Say Yes
When someone meets your top criteria, learn how to say yes even if they might not seem like the perfect match at first glance. Also know that “picture perfect” candidates get a lot of attention. Everyone is looking for Mr./Mrs. Perfect, but that rarely materializes due to the options these people have.
So, try to scratch below the surface. The best catches are not always the most beautiful, tall, or charming at first glance. If you’ve been struggling to find someone until now, it could be because you’ve been dismissing people for silly or superficial reasons. You wouldn’t want to be overlooked for some minor flaw, wouldn’t you? So, try to look for the diamond in the rough out there, and expand your horizons. Always make sure, however, that you don’t compromise on your deal breakers, as long as they’re reasonable.
Be in the Moment
You also have to be present and emotionally available to the people you decide to meet. Forget the people you have met before and the other options that you may have. Come in with a clean slate, and don’t try to compare them to whatever ideal you may have had.
You have to give them a chance to let their personality shine through. And if any questions about your past come up, give an honest response, but keep it short. You don’t want to go down a dark hole. Try to bring the conversation back to something positive, and focus on the present.
Know When it’s Time to Move On
You also don’t want to fall into the scarcity mindset and move on when you notice that someone doesn’t have the critical qualities you were looking for. If someone almost ticks all the boxes but fails in one category, such as drive, for instance, you may want to try and salvage the relationship, especially if you have great chemistry in other areas. But don’t make that mistake; these flaws will start to slowly, but surely, chip away at your relationship, and lead to a dead end.
Finding love online, while being a challenge, can be done. You have to be sure that you use the right tools, are clear about what you want, and walk the thin line between being selective and picky. You also have to go beyond the superficial if you want to truly connect, or else you’ll keep going into the same cycle.
