How Coming From an Abusive Family Changes You As An Adult

 / 

,

The scars left by an abusive family on an individual are deep and lasting resulting in many carrying them throughout their lives. Abuse can be both physical and mental and it can be perpetrated by anyone around you.

While it is hard to deal with abusive friends and partners, the worst is when it comes from your own family as you are completely dependent on them while growing up and it can be very hard to escape their influence even when you become an adult.

Below are the traits of people whoโ€™ve been deeply affected by their abusive family making it hard for them to find happiness for most of their lives.

1. They suffer from constant stress and anxiety

Being a part of an abusive family usually leads to people developing anxiety disorders. After spending much of their childhood looking over their shoulders in order to escape as much of the abuse as possible, the anxiety doesnโ€™t get better even when they become adults.

Attacks of anxiety occur even when there are no triggers around them to set them off. They themselves cannot narrow down the cause but the weight of it is always on their shoulders.

These attacks can get so bad that they might have difficulty doing something as simple as breathing. These attacks leave them feeling helpless because they cannot offer any explanation for their occurrence and they never know what will set them off.

Read: 7 Behaviors Common Among Adults Who Went Through Trauma At A Young Age

2. They are unable to build up their self-esteem

After spending many years having their confidence and self-esteem constantly torn down by the people who were supposed to care for them and nurture them, victims of abusive families have a very hard time finding faith in themselves.

Undoing almost decades worth of harsh criticism and insults is definitely much easier said than done and not many are able to heal completely.

As they grow older, this affects all parts of their lives. Without self-confidence, they constantly doubt their own decisions and this often holds them back in both their personal and professional lives.

Theyโ€™ll think theyโ€™re not good enough for something or someone and so theyโ€™ll stop trying to achieve their goals. Even when they have to make important decisions, theyโ€™ll keep thinking of all the ways they could fail and end up ruining their work simply because of that fear.

Read: Growing Through Trauma: How To Not Let A Bad Childhood Define Your Life

3. They find it very hard to express themselves even to those they care about.

Having had to keep their feelings to themselves for most of their lives, those whoโ€™ve had to deal with abusive families usually do not learn how to communicate with the people around them. For them, the concept of discussing a personal problem and finding a solution for it does not even exist. They are much better at bottling up their emotions.

Not only does this make it hard for them to form lasting and close relationships with others outside their families, but this also leaves them unable to speak up when someone is stepping all over them. Without being able to defend themselves, they knowingly or unknowingly become doormats for others to casually step over. They end up being taken advantage of and this only causes them more pain than what theyโ€™ve already been through.

4. They keep getting into abusive relationships outside their families

Being used to abuse is a very hard habit to break. Often these people donโ€™t even realize that relationships and families are not actually meant to be so painful.

After having seen abuse and pain all their lives, they donโ€™t have any model for what a happy and stable relationship looks like so they only go towards what they already know.

Unfortunately, this leaves them stuck in a cycle of more and more abusive relationships. Even as they grow older and meet more people, they tend to get into abusive friendships and even go on to find abusive partners.

The pain can sometimes even become an addiction which is even harder to get out of. People who are just as bad as their families find it easy to get their claws into them and use them however they please.

Read: The Impact and Long-Term Effects of Childhood Traumas and Complexes

5. They donโ€™t know how to maintain a proper relationship

In keeping with their habit of being attracted to abusive people outside of their family circle, their lack of knowledge about a healthy and happy relationship combined with their warped view of the world almost always results in them hurting themselves even when they find a kind and compassionate partner.

Since theyโ€™re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, they often pre-empt disaster by bringing it on themselves.

In this process, they hurt not only themselves but, more often than not, their partners as well. Usually, they do not mean to but once the damage is done, there is no going back. Theyโ€™re always waiting for their partner to hurt or leave them and if they suspect even the slightest sign of either of these things, theyโ€™ll lash out to save themselves because pain is all they know to expect.

Read: Effects of Growing Up as an Unloved Child and How To Heal

6. They donโ€™t know what to make of their own emotions

Very early in their lives, people who belong to abusive families learn how to keep their emotions at bay. They keep it all in because drawing attention to them equates to welcoming more abuse than they would face otherwise.

As they grow older, this habit of hiding things away only gets worse because theyโ€™ve become so used to it that they canโ€™t really understand what theyโ€™re feeling.

Besides being unable to express their true feelings, they themselves often cannot understand their own emotions.

After wearing a mask for most of their formative years, theyโ€™ve become so good at pretending that they canโ€™t tell the difference between their pretense and what theyโ€™re actually going through.

Therefore theyโ€™re unable to deal with any emotional issues that might crop up because they donโ€™t even know that they have problems in the first place.

Related video:

The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1  is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021 

People Coming From Abusive Families
Abusive Family

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream โ€˜Stay Away!โ€™

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These arenโ€™t just common personality flaws โ€“ these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. Weโ€™ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

What Is Child Abuse? Recognizing The Warning Signs

Child abuse and neglect is a very sensitive subject that needs to be handled with care.

One canโ€™t really associate a state like this with just bruises. There is emotional, as well as physical exploitation. Also, for a little kid to heal or recover from it, the earlier one spots the signs of it, the better it is.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or itโ€™s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, weโ€™re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults โ€“ those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

KEY POINTS

Adult temp

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. Itโ€™s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Maybe it was the feeling that somethingโ€™s missing from your childhood, but you cou

Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are yo