To the girl I love

               There was a boy..He was born in the winter..Long expected child to the big family.. People say he was born under the bright star(a rare light blue hair pigmentation)that reminded of a pulsar, bright and enormous extraterrestrial object in a galaxy.. At night he fell asleep with visions of himself, dancing and laughing and crying with them..He was not a popular one..He had a dreams of becoming a hero that will save humanity, but upon unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that he wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.. But he didn’t really mind because he knew that it takes getting everything he ever wanted, and then loosing it to know what a true freedom is..When the people he used to know found out what he had been doing, how he had been living, they asked him why – but there’s no use in talking to people who have a home. They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people – for home to be wherever you lay your head. Here is his story…



                 I think of it as a unique but not so wonderful story..Victim of violence and excessive fear he went through years of his childhood, affected him… He was used to violence, it became part of his life, bitter and lost he became..He was left alone when he was 11 to fight this world without support.. on his own.. he learnt to be alone, he had to….. He felt relieved when he finally got to live alone, away

from humans, to find comfort in silence and studying, minding his own business away from everyone.. He found solace in exploring the world, seeking knowledge and the peace… And finally there it is.. a salvation for him!!Light at the end of a tunnel..  He got to meet Mirza. Mirza was a bit older, but boy never got time to be a boy..Mirza saw something is different with this boy..He felt it..Decided to love him, to be his older brother. Mirza was ready to die for him..Two of them were inseparable for long time, enjoying in each others company. Boy decided to find strength within heart he locked long time ago and let the love get into his heart once again.. but due to the fight over ideologies they two split..Seeking peace as teenager he got himself in trouble, he ended up in groups that were suspicious of  highly probable terrorist activity, even the national security is very aware off.. But somehow boy got out of it..His head was a mess but he got himself out of that vicious circle…. he bought some other books to read, philosophy…



               That changed the complete picture that was stuck in his head, all of those primitive aspects of religion and indoctrination, every little mechanism and piece had to be destroyed.. one by one…. Due to brainwashing was persistent for 4 years a lot of time was invested into this..He got himself out of the trouble before he turned 18…


                Hey lets not forget one thing! His buddy is dead! Yep…Victim to a war in Syria..Fighting the war only the boy himself would understand he was surprised with the news. Oh he will never forget that one…..His father came to visit him..While repairing the window that was leaking the water his father asked him ‘Oh you remember Mirza?.. He is dead unfortunately..Missile from attack plane got him..’ I guess you assume what happened next..
What is a boy left to do then run away? 


               Boy comes from multi-ethnical family of muslim’s which ancestors turned into forcefully because their grand-grandpa had defensive spirit.. so he attacked an ottoman officer while the one was collecting a tax…On his mother side there are orthodox christians. So there it is.. Another war he was going through, nationalism and hate between family members..Hate he did not understand since in his heart there was place for all of them…But to hell with it..always stuck in between.. right on the frontline….You see he never stopped believing, he never lost hope in humanity.. He wanted to help people! To cure them from their pain, to educate them and spread their view, broaden their perspectives so they can see humanity as one, and feel united under one flag. He wanted for people to be happy, to feel safe and loved because he knew how hard it is to live without those..

Since he lost his heart to this world, he focused strictly on mind.. Living in ‘meditation’ and peace at home, he had time to learn and think of everything… So I asked him a few questions and chose to share his answers with you here..

He believed there are two main forces in this universe. And yeah he enjoys talking about this..“One is gravity, and one is antimatter..Those two are the strongest he implied.. Whole universe is in balance between two forces. Where there is light there is dark.. Never forget the quote ‘You can’t see stars without some darkness’.. You deserve to be respected who ever you are, life threw you in that situation it did.. and you are doing your best.. but don’t you ever think, not even for a second you can’t get out of your suffering!You can..! You are strong, You are Universe reliving Itself! You carry a piece of higher dimension, a pure energy Tesla was talking about.. You carry the light with You that illuminates everything, that shreds the darkness… Don’t be afraid.. Never be afraid! For fear is the source and path to the dark side, to suffering.. Show your true inner-self to the world.. but first you will have to open up your heart, forgive and understand yourself, ACCEPT yourself, LOVE yourself, be self-sufficient, happiness comes from within You, don’t travel the world searching for it, I mean yes go travel, but You should always know wherever You go, wherever You disappear You carry Yourself with You..Don’t doubt yourself for we are not limited. Remember always remember — WE ARE ALL ONE!! — we all came from the single source, something as big as the particle has exploded into million pieces… This process was very aggressive, large amounts of energy ‘were’ released, but all through that chaos and war between matter and antimatter our Universe was created…”


                Do you believe in souls?Twin-flames? He does.. For he have felt It… He met HER and they collided, as they had known each other forever! He couldn’t explain it… It was enjoyable and lovely for him.. I noticed that from the look in his eyes.. He met her while he was wandering.. Open road led him to her.While daydreaming and overthinking, she appeared I insisted he tells me more of her, but he wouldn’t. Only thing you could get out of him was his smile.


               He continued with his philosophy of  Universe and purpose of life…


            “The purpose of  life is to find the purpose.. That’s why life is perfect. It let’s YOU choose your purpose, in this world..” We must work together and forget our differences.Get along, forget primitive  aspects of religion and our pride..Give up from old traditions that inflict pain upon others. It never brought any good to humanity! And what is not good for humanity is not good for ourselves either! We live in an endless cycle of birth and death, because death brings new beginning, it’s the part of the eternal and perfect cycle.Science is putting too much brain and not enough senses into exploration. Everything  is rather simple, balance must exist, both  love and ignorance.Why? Because everything has frequency, everything is a vibration. Tesla was talking about that ‘We are all one’. Ones and zeros, (+) and (-), opposites! Take a look at battery, it has two equally important poles.. Can men get born without woman? Can woman fertilize another with woman??Think about it…. “


              He opened up and continued…


            “I have felt infinity, in silence, in the middle of the night, alone and adrift in my thoughts.. I decided to open my heart and defeat my inner fears that were grinding me from the inside. I decided to try and love again. We are connected, she will understand.. I asked the Universe in the moments of my deepest sorrow for I have hurt the one I make me a better person, one worthy of her love…I have hurt the One that was a conduit to my my destiny..I was scared of love so I ran away..Detached from this world I could’t believe that I can fall in love..I was in disbelief of what I have felt..It took me a prayer, the one I stopped using seven years ago. A beautiful arabian prayer.. But just because prayer is in foreign language, it doesn’t make it easier for the bitter heart to say..



              He was always searching for balance, stability he never had.. He finally started believing in a person he craved to become. During that war there was ups and downs.. As in every war..As a battle between mind that ground us and heart that lift us.


             This person he loved was of a mysterious character.She made his dreams come reality. He loves her, He wants to protect her, to guard her, to give her all of his attention and love because she is special to him, she has beautiful blue eyes which reminded him of something off-wordly yet so familiar.. Familiar as the soulmates are…Oh Yes! He read about it in spiritual books, it must be it! She must be an angel sent to collect the pieces of his broken soul..A compass.. so he does not just yet.. give up the hope….


             That boy grown to be Me. I am 24 years old now.. I live a healthy life,I have my family, good career..I have every reason to be happy. Just take a look at Afrika and all the poor around the world.. Trapped in war and violence, torn between frontlines, ravaged by diseases they are still fighting for life and are in despair.. but we fail to notice..we fail to notice just because we live an easy lives and haven’t been through what they have been.. I do not weep about my past. I believe that in every struggle there is beauty. I believe that whatever happened to us throughout life happened to us with REASON. It’s the way we learn and grow. Simple process.. So either let those unfortunate events destroy you or use them to your advantage..use them as your power supply to function and grow into improved individuals..


              I had a road accident today..That was expected haha for some time now since I tend to drive VERY fast… Luckily no one was hurted badly.I took it as a blessing.I believe that Universe has some wisdom in it’s sleeve with that one. Hmm I’m curious why?? Time will tell but..Until the  time comes I may or may not be with You here.. Only Universe knows that.. And ‘bad’ things happen to all of us everyday and will keep happening because of balance I bored you to death about haha.. So if you love someone tell them, tell them ‘I love You’, it’s really not that hard.. because the person you love may be out of your reach soon… And don’t let mind play tricks with you, for death is close as the birth is.. By statistics, in every second, two souls depart from their vessel on this planet.


            Tomorrow one that you love might disappear from your life, and transform without knowing the most important thing in this world,that You LOVE them, and LOVE is to be respected the most, do not hide such beautiful thing of someone, love does not deserve that..

                                                                 I LOVE YOU ALL

The knight in shining armor