Cognitive Defusion: The Unconventional Technique That Helps My Anxiety

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Like many people who struggle withย anxiety, I have a hard time letting go of anxious thoughts and recognizing that not all of them reflect reality. Once my mind attaches to a โ€œworry thought,โ€ detaching from the thought and moving forwardย can seem impossible. But once I learned about cognitive defusion, I created an unconventional, highly entertaining defusion technique that makes me giggle long before I can fixate on my most invasive worries.

Cognitive Defusion

Cognitive defusion, which is a core component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), involves techniques that allow people who struggle with excessive worry or rumination to โ€œdisconnectโ€ from thoughts that are unrealistic or exaggerated. Popular defusion strategies include noticing thoughts non-judgmentally, viewing thoughts from an โ€œobserverโ€ perspective and even structuring ruminating thoughts as if they are TV or movie dialogue.

When I heard about some of the common cognitive defusion techniques, I laughed. I wasย sureย that pretending my thoughts were sitcom dialogue wouldnโ€™t help. The concept seemed so far-fetched to me that it just didnโ€™t resonate.

Until I thought about the most dramatic show of all time, โ€œThe Bachelor.โ€

Iโ€™ve been watching for several years andย live for messy, champagne-fueled TV drama, so it only made sense to spice up my cognitive defusion experience with a nod to the popular reality TV franchise.

Read Repetition Compulsion: Why Do We Repeat The Past?

What if I could put myself in the Bachelor or Bacheloretteโ€™s shoes and choose not to โ€œgive rosesโ€ to ineffective thoughts?

Suddenly, I was inspired. I imagined myself standing in a bachelor mansion in a floor-length gown, surrounded by a roomful of thoughts. I heard host Chris Harrison proclaim, โ€œThis is the final rose of tonight.โ€ As I stood in the elegant room, confidently holding a rose, I bypassed all of my negative thoughts.

No roses for you tonight, worry thoughts!

Ever since the first time I cast myself as the lead in โ€œThe Bachelorette: Worry Thoughts Edition,โ€ Iโ€™ve evaluated each ruminating thought as if I were on the show, doling out roses to more โ€œpositiveโ€ thoughts and sending excessively anxious thoughts packing.

โ€œWhat if I donโ€™t deserve to find love?โ€ย  Goodbye โ€” no rose for you!

โ€œEverything always goes wrong for me.โ€ย  Get out of here, and donโ€™t come back!

โ€œI may not be where I think I should be, but I am doing enough.โ€ย  You get my final rose!

Read How to Improve Your Cognitive Function?

Pretending Iโ€™m part of โ€œThe Bachelorโ€ franchise and handing out or withholding roses from my thoughts may sound silly, but itโ€™s helped me successfully defuse from my thoughts. Placing myself on โ€œThe Bacheloretteโ€ and putting my worry thoughts in danger of being sent home has taught me I donโ€™t want to be โ€œmarriedโ€ toย my anxious mindย โ€” and I deserve to hold onto the thoughts that love me back.



Written by: Kelly Douglas
Originally appeared on: The Mighty
Republished with permission.
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