Like many people who struggle withย anxiety, I have a hard time letting go of anxious thoughts and recognizing that not all of them reflect reality. Once my mind attaches to a โworry thought,โ detaching from the thought and moving forwardย can seem impossible. But once I learned about cognitive defusion, I created an unconventional, highly entertaining defusion technique that makes me giggle long before I can fixate on my most invasive worries.
Cognitive Defusion
Cognitive defusion, which is a core component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), involves techniques that allow people who struggle with excessive worry or rumination to โdisconnectโ from thoughts that are unrealistic or exaggerated. Popular defusion strategies include noticing thoughts non-judgmentally, viewing thoughts from an โobserverโ perspective and even structuring ruminating thoughts as if they are TV or movie dialogue.
When I heard about some of the common cognitive defusion techniques, I laughed. I wasย sureย that pretending my thoughts were sitcom dialogue wouldnโt help. The concept seemed so far-fetched to me that it just didnโt resonate.
Until I thought about the most dramatic show of all time, โThe Bachelor.โ
Iโve been watching for several years andย live for messy, champagne-fueled TV drama, so it only made sense to spice up my cognitive defusion experience with a nod to the popular reality TV franchise.
Read Repetition Compulsion: Why Do We Repeat The Past?
What if I could put myself in the Bachelor or Bacheloretteโs shoes and choose not to โgive rosesโ to ineffective thoughts?
Suddenly, I was inspired. I imagined myself standing in a bachelor mansion in a floor-length gown, surrounded by a roomful of thoughts. I heard host Chris Harrison proclaim, โThis is the final rose of tonight.โ As I stood in the elegant room, confidently holding a rose, I bypassed all of my negative thoughts.
No roses for you tonight, worry thoughts!
Ever since the first time I cast myself as the lead in โThe Bachelorette: Worry Thoughts Edition,โ Iโve evaluated each ruminating thought as if I were on the show, doling out roses to more โpositiveโ thoughts and sending excessively anxious thoughts packing.
โWhat if I donโt deserve to find love?โย Goodbye โ no rose for you!
โEverything always goes wrong for me.โย Get out of here, and donโt come back!
โI may not be where I think I should be, but I am doing enough.โย You get my final rose!
Read How to Improve Your Cognitive Function?
Pretending Iโm part of โThe Bachelorโ franchise and handing out or withholding roses from my thoughts may sound silly, but itโs helped me successfully defuse from my thoughts. Placing myself on โThe Bacheloretteโ and putting my worry thoughts in danger of being sent home has taught me I donโt want to be โmarriedโ toย my anxious mindย โ and I deserve to hold onto the thoughts that love me back.
Written by: Kelly Douglas
Originally appeared on: The Mighty
Republished with permission.
Leave a Reply