Body Image Issues: How The Truth Will Set You Free

I always encourage my clients to be truth-seekers, both because the truth will set us free, and because body image issuesย always point us toward a complex web ofย untruths.

Granted, we all lie to ourselves all the time inย manyย areas of life. This is nothing new.

We come up with stories to explain things out of thin air, sometimes even spending years or decades believing the stories we make up. Some of those lies are simple, like when someone doesnโ€™t text us back for a while, and we decide they must be mad at us.

Other lies are complicated and massively impactful, like the ones we tell ourselves about our worth, body, appearance, and weight.

Those lies tend to be deep, dark, sticky, and old, both because they begin at such a young age, and because the personal and painful nature of the human condition skews us all toward feeling alone, wrong, bad, and broken.

Those stories also tend to be held up by the deeply ingrained conditioning of sexism, super-distinct binary gender roles/expectations, ableism, racism, andย fatphobiaย that gets reinforced everywhere we look.

Perhaps you recognize some of these stories?

  • A woman is only worthy of love and acceptance if sheโ€™s thin, toned, feminine, and conventionally beautiful.
  • We must control our appetites and our bodies or theyโ€™ll get completely out of control.
  • Losing weight is the key to happiness.
  • If I fix all my flaws and look โ€œperfectโ€ I can avoid vulnerability and stay safe.

Why you should seek truth?

Truth-seeking (or truth-hunting, as I sometimes call it) is the process of identifying the specific and unique lies embedded in your unconscious mind, and either clearing them out or simply refusing to live life in accordance with them anymore.

The first big lie I believed about my body started at seven years old, when a teenage boy convinced me to โ€œplay a game.โ€ The lesson I learned that day (and many times after) was that something about me invited boys and men to want me, and them wanting me was more important that meย notย wanting them.

It took me twenty years to discover that this story was a lie. Twenty years to discover that my value isnโ€™t linked to being wanted, and that I donโ€™t owe anybodyย anything.

It took me twenty years to discover that my wanting (andย notย wanting) mattered more than anyone elseโ€™s.

We ignore truth for temporary happiness

But this is how it is, to be human. Our minds are wired to make up stories. My story made sense to me at the time, and it helped me make sense of the world as I experienced it. But when I started naming and questioning these unconscious stories on my healing journey, I was pretty shocked to discover that, among other lies, I believed:

  • I am responsible for everyone elseโ€™s behaviors.
  • Men can tell Iโ€™m the kind of person you violate.
  • If I look perfect, and give men exactly what they want, I will be safe.

Donโ€™t get me wrong, my conscious mind rejected all of those stories immediately. I was a badass, outspoken feminist. Consciously, I knew this was all complete bullshit. But despite that, my unconscious mind treated those stories like gospel.

Related: 21 Things That Change When You Start Respecting Yourself

This is where the truth-hunting began. If looking perfect wonโ€™t keep me safe, whatโ€™s theย Truth? The truth will set us free.

The truth is that being a human is inherentlyย unsafe, that bad things happen, and that the world is scary and painful, sometimes. The truth is that my body canโ€™t keep me safe no matter how I look, and other peopleโ€™s actions are neither my fault nor my responsibility.

That Truth was heavyโ€ฆ but it had the power to set me free.

Because the other part of that Truth was realizing that I am also strong enough to handle living, and being fully present, in a world which is scary and painful sometimes. The truth is that I donโ€™t need make-believe to shield me from that reality anymore.

We all have lies about our bodies and worth.

They are often very convincing lies, given our life experiences. They are sometimes beautiful lies, tempting lies, becauseย if our bodies are the problem, then we stand a chance of fixing it.

These are lies that have often protected us from some terrifying and painful prospects. Itโ€™s much easier to believe it was our bodyโ€™s fault than to believe someone we loved would hurt us, after all. Itโ€™s much easier to believe the only thing standing between us and the life we desire is thirty pounds or a facelift, than to face the reality that maybe that life justย isnโ€™t in the cards for us.

Related: 8 Ways To Cultivate Resilience In Yourself During Tough Times

I had a client recently realize sheโ€™d spent her entire adult life hating her body because she believed if only she could achieve a โ€œperfect body,โ€ then nobody would ever be able to hurt or leave her again.

Itโ€™s no wonder that, when we give our bodies a completely impossible jobโ€“ like looking perfect enough to keep us safe, score us a life partner, or make us happyโ€“ we end up hating and resenting them for being what they are.

Sometimes itโ€™s easier to blame your body for causing pain and rejection (or failing to earn you love or belonging) than to face what it would mean if, in fact, life is just painful, lonely, and scary sometimes.

Related: Top 11 Ways To Step Out of Your Comfort Zone And Get Unstuck

But the truth will set us free.

Because when you go digging through the lies in your own unconscious mind, you will undoubtedly come across some truth that terrifies youโ€ฆ until you learn the even-deeper truth thatย you are strong enough to face and handle all of it.

If you struggle with body image, I encourage you to become a truth seeker. Itโ€™s hard, scary work sometimes, but on the other side of truth seeking is freedom. And, as Glennon Doyle says,

โ€œwe can do hard things.โ€

Besides, itโ€™s not like hating your body is such a walk in the park. In fact, itโ€™s incredibly fucking painful and lonely and difficult, as you probably already know. So since youโ€™reย alreadyย doing hard and scary things, you may as well do them in service of Truth, right?

At least thatโ€™s how I see it. And thatโ€™s how I help my clients see it too, because we are all strong enough to handle it, and because we all deserve to be free.

What do you think?

Written by: Jessi Kneeland
Originally appeared on: Jessikneeland.com

Body Image Issues pin

— Share —

, ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs Trapped by False Hope And Unrealistic Dreams

Zodiac Signs Trapped by False Hope Unrealistic Dreams

Weโ€™ve all been there, holding on to a dream or expectation long after itโ€™s clear it wonโ€™t come true. Sometimes, that glimmer of hope is hard to let go of, even when reality is staring us in the face. Below are 5 zodiac signs trapped by false hope, prone to clinging to unrealistic dreams.

These zodiac signs often find themselves stuck, waiting for something that might never happen. They are the ones who hold on to unrealistic dreams or expectations, even when they know deep down that the odds are slim.

Up Next

Things People Learn Too Late In Life: 7 Eye-Opening Life Lessons

Things People Learn Too Late in Life Eye Opening Life Lessons

Life is full of unexpected events and sometimes there are things people learn too late. Though some lessons come with age and experience, as time goes by, we often wish we had known some important truths sooner.

These moments of truth can be very shocking as well as transformative, they help us live authentically, appreciate what truly matters, and make the most of our time. Below are seven crucial life lessons people learn too late and can still change the way they approach life.

7 Things People Learn Too Late In

Up Next

Anger and Emotions: What’s Really Setting Us Off?

Anger and Emotion Whats Really Setting Us Off

Ever wonder whatโ€™s really fueling your anger and emotions? Discover how a mindful approach can help you regain inner peace in your life!

Taking a mindful approach to exploring why we are angry.

Key points

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is a warning sign that lets us know there is an issue to address.

Knowing what we are feeling will help us to address the source of our anger.

Anger can hit us when we least expect it. There are some people who get angry and not know what they are angry about. The

Up Next

Master Your Mind: 8 Subtle Clues Extraverted Intuition Is At Work

Is Extraverted Intuition Guiding You Subtle Clues

If youโ€™ve ever wondered how extraverted intuition works or if you might have it yourself, youโ€™re in the right place. Extraverted intuition (often abbreviated as Ne) is a personality trait that shows up as a knack for spotting connections, exploring ideas, and picking up on possibilities others might overlook.

Itโ€™s like a mental compass, pointing toward new insights, and itโ€™s often subtle but powerful.

Weโ€™re going to look at 8 little-known extraverted intuition signs is at play, helping you spot and harness this amazing skill set in your everyday life.

Let’s first start with what is extraverted intuition.

Related:

Up Next

How I Hacked My Personality: Steps To Be The Better Version Of Myself

How I Hacked My Personality

Can we truly reshape our personalities for lasting change? Discover Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala’s article “How I hacked my personality” and learn how small shifts in mindset and behavior can lead to meaningful transformation in your life.

A Personal Perspective: Science-backed strategies for intentional trait change.

Key points

Research suggests that personality changes over time.

We can speed up personality change by taking intentional action.

Changes that are reinforced by the environment are easier to maintain.

Up Next

Women Empowerment: The Rebecca Effect in “Ted Lasso”

Rebecca Effect In Ted Lasso Women Empowerment

Can women turn negative experiences into empowerment? Discover the โ€œRebecca Effectโ€ from Ted Lasso and transform your personal trials into powerful self-acceptance!

Personal Perspective: Empowering women to transform shame and betrayal.

Key points

“Ted Lasso” inspired with imperfect, endearing characters whose trials and transformations mirrored our own.

The โ€œRebecca Effectโ€ is the empowerment and transformation possible when we have been oppressed or shamed.

The “Rebecca Effect” is the process through which women embrace themselves in totality.

Up Next

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

Ever wondered why we shed emotional tears? Tears serve a healing purpose. Explore how it plays an important role for our well-being.

Emotional tears are an expression of our shared humanity.

Emotional tears, expressed by children, teens, and adults, are a universal experience observed across the globe. Emotional tears play a healing role, leading to our emotional and physical well-being. This post explores the value of emotional tears and the importance of presence and support from family and friends during unexpected

Read More Here: โ€œWhy Am I Always On The Verg