Attachment Style Tips
Anxious Partner
- When youโre feeling let down or abandoned, write a list of all the ways your partner is there for you, shows care, and gets it right.
- Examine your ideas of โwhat is rightโ and โhow things should be.โ Is there some wiggle room to make more space for your partnerโs way of doing things?
- Before reacting to a trigger, take a minute to step back and try to see the situation from your partnerโs perspective.
- Learn more about emotional validation. What it is, what it isnโt, and donโt stop advocating for it. Most anxious partners havenโt had enough of this in their life and need it more than anything else.
Avoidant Partner
- Learn how to emotionally validate. Until you can understand that you can emotionally validate your partner without agreeing with WHY they feel the way they do, keep trying to understand it. Your relationship depends on it.
- Find ways to learn how to access and express your emotions. Because itโs likely that nobody ever taught you how.
- Learn the difference between complaints and criticism. Examine whether or not you might confuse the two.
- Advocate for appreciation. If youโre feeling chronically defined by what youโre getting wrong, let your partner know itโs getting in the way of your ability to feel close.
โ @The Secure Relationship
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