And Here Are The Few Words To The Man I No Longer Know And Cannot Seem to Find

I hope you live a happy life that you’ve been dreaming of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you’ll find it one day.

If the heart has a memory, somewhere in time, in the vast lingering landscape of the mind, these words will forever be inscribed- wherever life takes you, I wish you nothing but happiness and love. As for me, a day will eventually come that I’d be able to learn the difference between solitude and loneliness. And I will let myself feel beloved on Earth once again.

How ironic! When was the last time I set you free? And that’s exactly what I’m thinking now- setting you free once again because I want you to be happy. Let’s not prolong this masquerade because it depreciates me while you get away with murder.

I love you. Yes, I did tell you that but I didn’t force you to believe in it. What could possibly go wrong?ย  I didn’t know but obviously I failed. I have loved you especially those days that you were so kind to me and those moments that I have never recognized you, it was because you started to change. I even loved you the last time you decided and finally said, you have found someone else to love in a special way- the one that involves only both of you. I knew itย  was not just simple words but a decided fact.

For the last time, I am giving myself the permission to shed few more burning tears- to bless my bodyย  with the benediction of healing. It’s true when they said that the holiestย  of all holidays are not the ones on our calendars but the one we observe in silence and in private tears. And on this Holiday, I smell the air so crisp for the first time and experience a total eclipse of the heart. It torments me but from now on, you will no longer find my call at 2 A.M just to tell you how I terribly missed you the whole day I didn’t see you. There will be no more secrets whispered at night and no more silly jokes told in the morning. You will never see me again hanging aroundย  you. You will no longer hear your phone rings with my name popped up on it and you will never see those messages that always filled your inbox full. You will no longer see me cry when you get sick. And you will no longer find those pieces of godiva chocolates in your car. You will no longer see me grin when you do something silly. You will no longer feel my hands wiping your face whenever you eat like a little kid. You will no longer find me snuggle up on your sofa waiting for you to arrive home from work. You will no longer hear from me. You will just see those four corners in an empty space with the traces of me. I will never build any bridge again. I will just simply build aย  strong wall. I know that you are not always fair but I will let you goย  on the highway and move forward into the life full of happiness.

Thank you for the sight of undulating swing of each day’s crushing sorrow. Because of that, I have learned the ways of love. I might always bury my face into the plump pillow each nightย  to sleep. I might hide myself to the world- no one could see me.ย  I might have those scary nightmares in the middle of the night – no one will wake me up then hug me tight. Things could fall to the cracks but I could swear I’ll take care of myself. I WILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!

I’ll get out with this mess that is full of thunderstorms and night sky with scary lightnings. I have to stay alive to find those missing pieces to complete the life you broke and will start to see those small beautiful things again. I want you to know that even though you broke my heart, the love for myself is still here deep inside. I still love myself anyway and I still know what this thing called, LOVE really means. But you know, the only difference of you and I is that, my love is true. It is a love that is unselfish and kind.ย  The love that,ย  I know, will save me when all hope is lost.

The pain in my heart is killing me but it’s okay. I will be moving on. I will leave you to your bliss and peace. I will move out of the insular world which has sheltered our togetherness for quite long time. And, while you are loving her, I will make the best out of what life has given me. I want to understand what is mine… that is why I’m letting everything go. I’ll keep what is for me and will stay mine forever. There’s a road I need to go through alone and there is a right moment wherein I need to say goodbye. And when I said goodbye, it means that is your way and this is my way and it will never cross again.

I’m OK!

I will be OK. Because I’m strong and the love I have deep in my heart is always true. I will be OK because no matter how many times people stompย  on my heart, they will NEVER take away the LOVE in it. This is the only thing I have left for myself. I will live before I die. And if our Creature will finally decide to take me away from this world, know in your heart that you were deeply and truly loved.

 

— Share —

— About the Author —

Response

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

My Rendezvous With Life

My Rendezvous With Life

The treacherous waters of existence hail in their stride,As the beauty of sailing against the winds uproars in its ride.Benevolence in its yonder stirs the mirth of the true,Navigating the turbulent waves, death and I had a rendezvous.

I sought the beauty of the light that was unseen,In the depths of my muse, I found my world within.Life in its flair, trudged me into the emblems of the dark,The dreams that perspired in the seed embraced their death,As it was time for a new quest to embark.

Quaint whispers that echoed in their gallant stance,The jeers that surmounted the uncertainty galloped in their dance.Silencing the wind, bestriding the fall,I plunged into the entirety of my endeavours that call

For I chose to befriend the walk that marked the

Up Next

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

Love is the purest emotion one feels towards themselves and another individual. While the expression of love can vary in its entirety from one person to another, the care we hold for the ones we love shares an undeniable impact on how we forge our perceptions of interpersonal relationships. The way we communicate our feelings to someone also says a lot about how we are wired, the method of conveying our affection to our beloved ones is called a love language. You may express affection to the one you love regularly, but do you take the time to ensure that you are communicating it in the way that the other person prefers? Even love can become lost in translation when two individuals speak different love languages.

What are the five love languages?

Up Next

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

Ever acquainted with the phrase that the world that you exist in, the life that you embody dwells in the perception of the stance you hold for yourself. The beauty and the tragedy of life is that it is as beautiful as the optimistic lens of perception and as ugly as the pessimistic view of your being.

The strive of our endeavours and the constant effort to achieve the next massive milestone often drive us to the edges of insanity, to be in the consistent light of greatness we lose sight of the great strings of joy that bind our existence together. To be the best we have ever been we must be mindful of the best we are. Coinciding in the traps of negativity and yet claiming to be the best version of yourself is a blinding truth that lies to only

Up Next

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I breathe in the sauntering air that collapses my being,I breathe through the crevices of my existence unseen.Uncertainty in its yonder strikes in bolt on the scars that nobody sees,Redemption that loves, redemption that is free, find me in the depths of my poetry.

Tales of lust ridden in smeared touches that belie,Entreated with envy, the visions of victory lie.To be or not to be in a question that yet lies,For I yearn for a world where fond passion never dies.

Enclasped in the cage of the deemed duty,Bounded in her vows, she forgot she was a thing of beauty.In a realm we live, where amour in its truth fails to stand tall,She, tired of her existence, submerges herself into the beauty that her dreams enthrall.

Chaos in its uproar hails in its darkness

Up Next

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

Conflict is a natural element of any dynamic whether it is personal or professional and knowing how to deal with it becomes an essential in any aspect of life. Conflicts in the workplace can arise for matters as trivial as difference in personal beliefs to matters such as project completions, working styles, deadlines, project goals and different outlooks towards work. For the sake of development and productivity, these disputes must be settled quickly and professionally. Understanding how conflicts arise and how to resolve them can help managers advance in their careers. We’ll go over what conflicts are, their different kinds, and the typical reasons why team members argue in this edition of The Wellness Digest.

What does conflict mean in the job?

Up Next

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Being aware of the wounds of your childhood allows you to gain an understanding of yourself, including your emotions, behaviours, and thought patterns. Awareness is the first step towards healing, and acknowledging past wounds empowers you to address and work through emotional pain.

1. Wound of rejection

Childhood Impact: As a child, I felt like no one accepted me for who I was.

Adult Protection Strategy: Now, if someone or something makes me feel rejected, I tend to run away. I hide, isolate myself, and avoid everyone, even those who care about me. It’s like I believe everyone rejects me, and I don’t fit in.

2. Abandonment

Up Next

The Art of Self-Transformation: Tips for Personal Growth and Development

The Art of Self-Transformation

The journey of life often strikes us with a monotonous tone of finding chaos and distress in the mundanity of our daily lives. Not achieving what we set our mind to and being stuck in a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-pity is often a sign that something in our life is not going the right way. We need to take a step back and reevaluate the present situation we are in. Here are some concrete steps that you can follow to embrace change and become a better version of yourself.

1) Swot analysis –

One of the most important steps to understanding yourself is to assess your present situation and draw out the areas of your strengths,