Intimacy has a broader meaning than sexual expression. It involves understanding another person and being understood and known by that person in return. True intimacy requires compassion, acceptance, and a celebration of the differences between the two people involved. People in intimate relationships report feeling free and able to be themselves. While not easy to develop, intimacy is worth striving for. These ten methods will help two people create a more intimate relationship.
1. Be forthcoming with thoughts and dreams.
In order to truly understand someone, that other person has to open up and share aspects of themselves they may normally keep hidden. In relationships, bonded couples realize that they are always learning more about their partners. Opening up to someone is scary. It holds the prospect of rejection within the act. However, unless partners are willing to share with each other, they will never attain true intimacy. It’s best to share when relaxed which is why some people use CBD oil or other aids. You can find more at Pure Relief to understand how these extracts help.
2. Clear the schedule to engage in conversations of depth.
Over time, the normal stresses of daily life make long conversations difficult to have. Paying bills, taking care of children, and attending to personal needs often wipe out opportunities for spending time together. To thrive, grow, and deepen a relationship, the schedule must be cleared for bonding time. Many couples schedule date nights or arrange for quiet weekends away. Learning about each other should be enjoyable as well as enlightening.
3. Try new things to deepen a relationship.
Make a list of some things that either of you have always wanted to try but never had time for before. Set up a plan to learn how to garden together, climb a mountain, or learn more about the history of the area. Learning new things side-by-side allows personal growth for each of you. While it’s true that both parties may not enjoy the same types of activities, it is worth it to expand capabilities and knowledge. After all, a couple that grows together is more likely to stay happy in the long run.
4. Change the routine.
A routine might be the enemy of intimacy. Left unchecked, it can drive emotion and understanding out of a marriage or relationship. Figure out a new routine that provides more benefits and allows more time for just living and enjoying life is a great place to start. Of course, without routines, life would be difficult. But, sometimes, old routines must be reevaluated when they are no longer working. Try the new routine and tweak it until it works well for both partners.
5. Celebrate the routine.
Even though changing the routine may be required, the existing routine is something that can and should be treasured. Think about the early morning comfort of hearing your early rising spouse preparing coffee and showering before work. Appreciate knowing what they will do on a daily basis. It is the ordinary that slowly triggers deeper wells of love. Revel in them. Respect them. And, let your partner know how much their daily presence is appreciated.
6. Learn to be less judgmental to help your partner open up.
When people don’t feel safe revealing who they are, they quickly clam up. Be aware of red lights that signal one partner is shutting the other one out before they can open up. These warning signs include poor listening skills, cutting off words or sentiments and making them be about your situation, and making judgments before hearing everything your partner has to say. For true intimacy, the partner who is not being heard, who is being cut off, or who is being judged must be able to say so.
7. Learn how much intimacy is required in your particular relationship.
Some couples share everything, and it makes them stronger. Others are deeply connected but use very few words. They use actions to express their feelings instead. While one partner will be more likely to want to talk and share, they must learn to respect the other’s more reticent nature. Keep in mind that intimacy built-in small doses may be more durable over time than intimacy that is rushed. It should grow as each party learns more about themselves.
8. Remain in painful conversations to truly connect.
A relationship without conflict may be a dream, but it isn’t one that has a chance of growth. Instead of walking away in anger, practice calming down, and truly listening. Ask yourself which is more important: getting your way or resolving a problem. Even though arguments trigger emotional upheaval, they provide a way for couples to get to know and understand each other. Try considering the other’s point of view before rushing away during a conflict.
9. Give emotional credit when its due.
Not all people use words to express themselves. Instead, they deliver love tidbits through daily actions. Perhaps they notice when the one they love is tired and willingly pick up the slack. Or, a special gift is brought home and left on the table. Life is primarily about the little things that happen. If a partner silently says, “I love you,” be sure to acknowledge it. This requires paying attention, but that is the key to intimacy after all.
10. Be there to be intimate.
Sometimes, intimacy grows when partners continue to stand by each other. They learn that sex is important, but sex with intimacy is much better. Standing with someone over time means that trust has been earned. Learning how to demonstrate love includes physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Appreciation and respect grow when both parties are worthy.
Never reduce intimacy in a purely sexual format. While it makes sex better, intimacy develops over time when two lives are fully shared in a relationship. True intimacy requires that people in a relationship open up to one another and are prepared to listen as well as talk. Not all intimate relationships are the same, just as all people are different. The best way to truly become intimate is to have patience and learn to accept the other person into your life.
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