Men and women have different needs in a relationship, and once you understand and respect that, your bond will be stronger than ever.
Every relationship is truly roller coaster rides. It feels exciting, devastating, challenging and rewarding at the same time.
Sometimes people get confused as to which button to press and which not to in case some actions backfire.
There is no dearth of blogs, articles, and books out there to ensure your relationship runs smooth and hassle-free with as lesser conflicts and hardships as possible. But everything ultimately boils down to the two people in the relationship who has to work their parts and make it happen. This idea is more appropriate when it comes to marriage.
You must be wondering, how do I make my marriage loopholes-proof and successful? There’s no single answer to this. Every two individual’s need is distinct from the other, every marriage has different requirement to function, and every couple has a unique chemistry. To top it all, there must be a middle ground for all of these differences.
Here Are The Needs Of Men And Women In A Relationship
His Need: To be Appreciated
Her Need: To be Loved
When it comes to loving someone, respect for that person naturally comes. Shaunti Feldhahn conducted study social research for her book: “For Women Only.” three out of four men chose to be alone and unloved.
This piece of information might seem a bit out of the place, but men are wired to think this way. And you as a woman can really find it difficult to stay alone without experiencing a genuine connection with your partner. A woman wants to feel loved more often; wants to feel wanted and held from time to time. A woman needs to be loved with persistence. Each woman has a different definition of being loved, women want to hear “I love you.”, “I am glad to have you.” more often than men do.
Men need to be respected and appreciated for what they do, for the sacrifices they make for the family, the financial and structural stability they bring to the family. They need to be motivated and influenced with words like, “I am proud of you.”, “You can do it.”
He Needs: Sex as a Means to Express Love
She Needs: Love as a Means to Express Sexual Desires
The sexual drive of each person is unique. It cannot be generalized based on gender. Some women indeed have high sex drives and want to engage more often in sex. But their urgency, impulsivity is different than men.
Marriage therapist Aaron Anderson tells that men want to engage more often in sex not just to fulfill their sexual urges and physically satisfy themselves but also to express their love for their women. For them, it is a form of expression of love.
Women too want sex and they equally enjoy it but they are always not in the mood for it. It is not their primary source of expression of love. She would spend time cuddling with you, making you a nice meal to show how she feels rather than actually making out.
Women often need to be able to contemplate sex beforehand, as that ‘waiting’ period sets her on fire. Consider Feldhahn’s advice and give women some ‘anticipation time’ if you want to have frequent and steamy sex.
He Needs: To Communicate Through Actions
She Needs: To Communicate Through Words
Women are more equipped to use words and forms of emotional expressions to communicate what they are feeling. Ever since the dawn of time, men are ‘doers’. They do not have the efficiency to communicate their feelings through words. They downplay the need to sit at the end of every single day to converse with the life partner about everything that happened throughout the day.
Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen conducted a study in which she recorded female and male best friends as they conversed with each other. She found a startling difference between the behavior of men and women.