Love can be a beautiful experience, but it can take a dark turn when it becomes possessive. Watch out for the signs of obsessive love in your relationship!
Not all love is sweet and innocent. What you think love can be an obsession and emotional abuse and you need to be cautious. Your partner might be the most caring and attentive of all, and yet if they are obsessed with you, they are dangerous for you.
One needs to be careful of the signs which tell apart obsession and love. Because being in a relationship with someone who is obsessed with you and only you are not desirable as you might think. It can and will turn into an abusive relationship, sooner or later.
Such people have their own psychological demons inside their heads. The love they have for you is a manifestation of their own struggles.
And if you look closely enough you’ll be able to notice these red flags of obsessive romance easily. The very obvious example is when you start feeling that the relationship functions much more on emotions rather than on logic. Even if you feel that something is wrong you choose to ignore it.
Related: Why Do Narcissists Abuse Those They Love?
You will think of a million reasons why they might have done something like that, and you’d always find something good enough to convince you.
Obsession is when the other person can’t seem to live without you.
It sounds very romantic that someone would love you so much that they want to be with you every second of the day. But it is neither practical, nor healthy.
If someone wants to be with you constantly, they are neglecting their own life or perhaps don’t have one. And this is definitely not wholesome.
To have someone’s entire life around you can be a lot of pressure to take and is definitely not something that should be wished for. It is good when your friends know about your boyfriend and vice versa. It is no longer good if he doesn’t let you go out with them alone.
If he always wants to be around you and doesn’t let you have a personal space that is not cute at all. If he continuously calls or texts you over the duration of the day, he’s trying to keep a tab on you and not simply checking up on you.
If he is not comfortable with you having a good time without him then it is definitely a sign of trouble. Also if he has problems with all your male friends, no matter new or old he is definitely insecure about you.
Related: Identifying Emotional Abuse before it Happens.
If he makes you think like you need to choose between your family and friends and him, then he is not the right guy for you.
If he is not being able to handle you happy with someone else, that is his problem and not yours. You don’t have to feel guilty about spending time with your loved ones because it makes him uncomfortable, angry or jealous.
He being miserable on his own and not letting you live a life at all is on him and him alone. All this need on their part might seem flattering at first, but remember this is not a sign of love.
6 Signs Of Obsessive Love Relationships
1.They shower a deluge of attention on you
2. They also ask for univocal right on your time
3. They completely ignore those aspects of their life which have nothing to do with you.
4. They are jealous of anyone or anything who wants your attention.
5. When you are not with them they continuously barrage you with texts or calls.
6. They make it a point to show to others that you are with them. They don’t care if they are intruding in your personal space or making you feel uncomfortable.
Related: The Modus Operandi Of An Emotional Abuser
There is no way to tell apart the beginning of obsessive love and that of any new love.
Both of you have eyes only for each other, you think of them all the time and so on and so forth. But an abusive love born out of obsession would soon turn into possessiveness.
Your independence will soon start to irk them and they will lash out. They will try to stop you from being at work, around other people, and around friends. And most of the time their excuses would be nothing more than playing the victim.
They’d make you feel guilty about choosing to spend any duration of time away from them.
They will make you feel like you are abandoning them even though all you’re doing is going for some drinks with your girls.
Related: Lingering Effects of Emotional Abuse and Ways to Heal
Initially, you might give in and believe them. And the time spent with them will be quite good as well. But in a little while, you will start feeling suffocated. Because it is impossible to spend your every moment with solely one person, no matter how special they might be.
And quite soon cracks will start appearing in this relationship. You will see that they are restraining you and you will try to retaliate.
They will sense the tension and act out even more than before. Soon it will be nothing but an endless series of fights, with some half resolved periods of calm spread in between.
But such a relationship definitely cannot stand for long.
Related: Trapped In The Paradox Of Love: Why Do I Feel Sorry For My Abuser?
If you see any such signs of obsession and emotional abuse in your partner it is advised that you take action before it is too late. Obsessive lovers can threaten you or their own life just to make your stay.
They validate their existence through their relationship with you. If there is no you, they feel like they have nothing. And so they will do everything in their power to hold you to them. They must have had some difficult experiences in the past.
And it is clear that they didn’t process those hurts properly. For them, controlling you mean controlling the pain from the past. Your exclusivity is their sanctuary. Being with them will make you isolated from any other person in life.
If you are not careful, you will be coming to this rather alarming discovery when you have no friends or family around you at all.
What do you think about the signs of obsession to a person? Have you ever been in obsessive relationships? Share your thoughts below!
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