Letโs talk about self-compassion and meeting yourself where you are. Right here, right now.ย ย Today.
Have you ever started something, or picked something back up after a hiatus and been frustrated with where you are?
Me too.
Last spring, I was training for a half marathon that was supposed to happen in May, but for obvious reasons (i.e. COVID), that half-marathon didnโt happen. ย I swore Iโd keep up with my training and run it on my own, but then I hurt my hamstring.
So, my running consistency went out the window.
I used to be an avid triathlete, and Iโve done 4 or 5 half-Ironman races. My fastest time over the 1.2-mile swim, 56-mile bike, and 13.1-mile run was 5 hours, 28 minutes and some-odd seconds, which is pretty good for an age-grouper. ย I typically finished in the top 15 in my age group on the bike leg, which was my strongest sport of the three, and in the top 25-30 overall.
But, as it has a tendency to do, life happened. I went through a tough time with my divorce. ย I no longer had time or energy to put into that much training. ย Iโm kicking myself because I had built that fitness and endurance up over a few years, and now Iโm pretty much back to square one.
To be honest, Iโve had the itch to get back to the tri world. ย I still feel like Iโd like to do a fullย Ironmanย someday. When I was in the thick of racing, people would say โoh, I could never do thatโ. ย And Iโd say โof course you can. ย You just have toย want toโ. ย
People would look at me and say back,ย โno, I really could never do that. ย Iโm too _____โ. ย Iโm too out of shape. ย Iโm too heavy. ย Iโm too old. ย Iโm too busy.ย
All the excuses.ย
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Why is that?ย Why do people not believe in themselves? Why do they make excuses for why theyย canโt do something?
The excuses are fear.
Do you know the other thing that happens?
People bite off more than they can chew.
On a whim, they decide theyโre going to do X, but they expect to just do X and not work for it. ย When they canโt just do X, they feel like they suck. ย They feel inadequate and unworthy โ like they areย not enough.
So I did a crazy thing this week.
After a couple of glasses of wine, I decided it would be a good idea to sign up for the virtual Baltimore half-marathon, which โtakes placeโ on (or before) October 17th. ย
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Iโm also a personal trainer, and love coming up with new training programs, so I sat down to create a training schedule for this race. October seemed so far away, and it didnโt occur to me until this moment that I only have about a month to get ready for this race.
Oops.
And lately, running has felt like so much effort. ย I am about 15 pounds heavier than Iโd like to be. ย Even though Iโm strong and athletic, Iโm out of shape for running endurance-wise. ย And Iโm not getting any younger. When I run, I seriously feel like I am running with bricks on my feet.
So my inner mean girl starts saying all this stuff to meโฆ. You suck at this. You shouldnโt even try. ย This is ridiculous. ย You should have never stopped running. ย Youโll never get back into shape. ย Youโre so SLOW.
I know youโre familiar with the inner mean girl. ย Iย knowย you are.
Sheโs not very nice.
Well,ย I have some of my best thoughts and ideas when I am running. Hereโs one for my inner mean girl:
What if, instead of beating myself up for sucking at this, what if I practiced a little self-compassion and just met myself where Iโm at now? ย
What if I saidย hey, everyone has to start somewhere and this is what I have to work with?
So I did. ย I settled into my slow pace and took care of my body and my mind.ย
I also took comfort in the fact that this is the beginning of aย journey.ย A journey from slow to fast (or maybe slow to not-as-slow).ย A journey of getting back in running shape.ย A journey from having little endurance to having as much endurance as I train myself to have.
Feels a lot better to think that way. ย Itโs so much kinder.
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I amย excitedย to run again. ย Because I am doing it without the pressure of a certain pace or time. ย Iโm leaving my inner mean girl at home and Iโm doing this on my own. ย No nasty voices and no put-downs. Iโm doing it because I want to, with zero expectation, and that feels good.
Oftentimes,ย I have clients that need some helpย taking a step back to meet themselves where they are.
I have to teach them that embracing a โbeginnerโs mindโ is one of the best things you can do for yourself from a mindset perspective. ย You donโt have to be perfect at something. ย You donโt have to be an expert at something right away. ย Once you have learned everything, there isnโt any more to the journey. ย Having a beginnerโs mind is exciting. ย There is so much more journey to take.
The journey is where we learn.ย Itโs where we have some beautiful experiences.
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Along the journey, Iโll kindly tell my inner mean girl to have a seat and Iโll show a little self-compassion. Iโll enjoy my morning run by meeting myself where Iโm at.
Those are the makings for a beautiful experience on a morning run.ย
I encourage you to do the same wherever youโre at.ย Kindly tell your inner mean girl to have a seat, show some self-compassion for yourself, and enjoy YOUR beautiful experience on todayโs leg of your journey.ย
Are you ready for self-compassion and meeting yourself?
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Written by: Kortney Rivard
Originally appeared on: Kortneyrivard.com
Check out her podcast,ย Real, Brave & Unstoppable.
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