Do you often say sorry? Feel guilty for petty things? Feel awkward about your skills and abilities? Fail to achieve goals? Compare yourself with others? Have trouble cracking job interviews? Miss opportunities? These are all signs of low self confidence.
“One important key to success is self-confidence” – Arthur Ashe
What are the things common in people with high self confidence? They are attractive, easily hired for jobs, achieve goals, productive and successful. You must have also noticed that people often love to spend time with confident people. Agree?
You may not be confident in all areas of life all the time, but you can reach a point where you are 100% confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Here are some simple and well-proven hacks to build and grow your self-confidence.
Related: 12 Steps To Boost Your Self-Confidence As An Introvert
29 Proven Ways To Build Your Self-Confidence
1. Live By Your Principles
What is your key principle? Honesty, boldness, or anything else? And do you live your life in accordance with it? If you haven’t thought of it, start now! Guiding principles help you make value-based decisions and choices. You can better meet your goals and manage your time and priorities.
2. Know Yourself
Sun Tzu, the author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Develop high self-awareness to kill low confidence and win all battles in life. God has gifted each one of us with unique abilities.
Some are introverts, some are extroverts, some are good leaders while some are good managers. What is your unique gift? Know it, embrace it! You will become more confident!
3. Speak Slowly
Sounds simple? But a hard thing to do! Speaking fast can hurt your message. Not everyone can catch up with your pace and miss important points. Practice breathing techniques to calm yourself that will slow down the rhythm of your speech. Speak slowly without skipping any word and stretch your vowels – you will start feeling confident.
Related: The Art of Conversation: 25 Great Conversation Starters
4. Smile
It neither costs you money nor time! Why not smile more? Smiling doesn’t harm anyone but offers positive vibes and also boosts neuronal connections in your brain and releases various happy hormones like dopamine, endorphins. Thus, you feel good, less stressed, more confident – which helps people easily approach you.
5. Attitude Of Gratitude
Being grateful for what you have improves your self-image! People who write gratitude letters are reported to have better mental health. Being grateful is directly proportional to being confident.
6. Exercise
Needless to say, exercise brings you unlimited physical and mental health benefits. It not only lifts your mood but trains your brain to pick positive thoughts and feel good about your abilities and body image, which in turn boosts confidence.
That doesn’t mean you have to become Arnold Schwarzenegger! Just walk for 30 minutes every day and you will see a huge change in your confidence levels.
7. Groom Yourself
It is but undeniable fact that people feel more attracted to those who look and feel good. Grooming yourself – taking care of your skin, nails, beard, teeth, and hairstyle helps you stay well-rounded. It affects the way you regard yourself and that stimulates self-esteem and confidence.
8. Dress Nicely
Clothes reveal a person’s personality! When I dress nicely, I stay in a good mood for the entire day. I don’t want to look like Jennifer Lawrence! I just wear what fits my body type! To my surprise that helps me freely communicate with people and it changes how others listen to what I say. Price and brand don’t matter! Just look nice and presentable and see how it boosts your self confidence!
9. Correct Posture
Always stand tall, sit straight, open up your chest, chin up, keep up your head level. Unlike slump and slouch posture, straight posture lifts your mood, boosts confident thoughts. Try it and you will feel more poised and assured. You will 100% look more confident and attractive!
Related: 7 Tips To Gain Confidence And Boost Your Self-esteem
10. Be 100% Honest With Yourself
According to Charlie Houpert, the author of “Charisma on Command”, you should be “hyper honest with yourself”. No matter if you have strong work and relationship ethics, self-confidence doesn’t rise when you are not honest answering basic questions like – “what are your hobbies?”, “What do you do for a living?”
That doesn’t mean, you have to share all your private and personal stuff with everyone you meet. You need to accept every good and bad habit of yours and own it.
11. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
According to a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, people who compare themselves to others experience envy and felt worse about themselves. Because comparing your wealth, salary, spouse, lifestyle, looks, achievements only decreases your self-confidence. It can be a vicious cycle.
So, just stop and be grateful for what’s good in your life. Remember there are people who are dying to live the life you have. Everyone has their own time and clock.
12. Know Yourself Well
If you understand the feelings and emotions of your friends and folks and don’t know who you are inside out, you will always fall short of self-confidence. To be hyper honest with yourself you need to listen, analyze and know your thoughts.
Start writing a journal to pen down everything in your mind and you will figure out your likes, dislikes, strengths, limitations, and areas of improvement. Take a deep dive to filter out artificial limitations! Over time you will come out with greater self-confidence.
13. Fuel Positivity
Our brain is wired to think about negative events and outcomes! So you need to train your brain to think positively and see how your self-confidence rises. “I, Scott Adams, will become a syndicated cartoonist.” This was Scott Adams’s affirmations and the repetition technique to materialize his goals and dreams. Guess what? Today he is one of the most successful cartoonists of our time! Think and act positively to address negative thoughts.
Related: 8 Positive Comebacks For Dealing With Rude People
14. Act Positively
Thinking positive is just not enough! The Law of attraction should always be followed by the law of action! Start taking responsibility for your mistakes, rectify them, gel up with positive people in your circle, help someone in need, compliment others and give 100% energy in everything you do. I bet this will spike your confidence in just a few months!
15. Stop Labeling Yourself
“I’m so helpless”, “I can’t solve this problem”, “No matter what I do I will fail in maths”. If you believe these voices in your head, you are creating a negative image of yourself. If you pay heed to these voices, you will subconsciously train your mind to act accordingly. You will psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. It’s time to photoshop that image!
Why not affirm yourself “I am the best”, “I’m confident”?. Self-limiting thoughts only cripple your confidence! Try meditation, journaling, self-reflection to find the origin of these thoughts and fix your self-image. Self-confidence increases only when you feel positive about yourself.
16. Practise Self-Compassion
“I am so dumb, I ruined everything!” Do you beat up yourself even for tiny mistakes? Common!!!! To err is human! We make mistakes, learn lessons and become a better version each day. So, be kind to yourself!
Self-compassion leads to more consistent confidence according to a study published in the Journal of Personality. Why not think more of good deeds “I am so smart, I managed the concert so well”. Wouldn’t it compound your confidence?
17. Learn, Learn And Learn Some More
Empower yourself with knowledge every day and that will boost your brainpower. Learning something new activates the novelty center of your brain. This process increases dopamine and other happiness chemicals in the brain.
More knowledge, more informed decisions, more self-esteem, more creativity, more productivity, and more self-confidence. Some creative ways to boost your knowledge are reading books, magazines, watching Ted Talks, playing brain games, online courses, and so on.
18. Just Finish The Pending Task
Procrastination is the dream killer! People who procrastinate experience higher levels of anxiety, guilt, stress, low self-esteem, low confidence, and depression.
Set a simple and small to-do list every day and try to finish them by end of the day. If you have a big task break it into smaller parts. You will stop feeling daunted and intimidated. Stay committed, promise yourself a reward and you can reverse all the negative effects of procrastination.
19. Change A Small Habit
What are the things that most people complain about you? Working until late at night? Eating junk food? punctuality? Find out small habits that you believe you really need to change and you can do it. Then work on it for a month. Once you accomplish it you will feel like heaven.
Related: 9 Steps That Can Build Your Self-Confidence
20. Clear The Clutter
Declutter your physical and emotional space! Get rid of old items, clean your desk and wardrobe. You will get a little piece of life under control plus you can dress up faster every morning. Also, declutter your past memories and regrets. This will bring you pleasure and loads of self-confidence.
21. Get Prepared
If you don’t prepare for your exams you will fail. Right? Similarly, you should prepare yourself for everything – date, party, conference, new business start-up, or your farewell speech. You’ll gain some confidence!
When you practice, you address your self-doubts like “I might embarrass myself or mess up”. All the public speakers rehearse what they are going to say beforehand, to minimize the risk of rejection. At the same time, they are prepared for the worst!
22. Be Kind
Being kind is not always about giving money! You can be a blood donor, distribute old woollen clothes to the needy, offer compliments to people, share your knowledge with your juniors (for free of course!) or just listen to what your lonely friend has to say. Just one good deed a day! See how it skyrockets your self-confidence.
23. Become Competent
Increase your competence to become more confident. What is your core competency? Writing, singing, or dancing?
Keep constantly improving your skills. Set aside dedicated time for it on your daily schedule and you will get better at it. You can seek a mentor or join groups or clubs to constantly improve and develop yourself. Practice to become competent and inspire self-confidence.
Related: 7 Inner Archetypes That Cripple Your Confidence and Self-Respect
24. Achieve Small Goals
If you are not a person with big fat goals then set small goals for yourself and take a determination to achieve them.
Make sure to set a (SMART – smart, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) goal. Once you achieve it, you will feel good. Then, set another one, this process will amplify your self-confidence to target and achieve bigger (still achievable) goals.
25. Do Some Noble Work
Whenever you are free you should volunteer for a good cause. You can experience more pleasure by helping others in need. Charity work not only makes you more generous but helps you add colors to the lives of others.
Every bit of help that you do can make others smile and be happier. Giving to charity makes you feel better (by affecting your brain chemistry), strengthens personal values, motivates your friends and families, and boosts your self-confidence.
26. Focus On Solutions
Most people waste their brain energy in thinking about the problem and possible negative outcomes. And, that makes you drained out! Instead of assuming how things may go wrong, why not focus on solutions. That will help you find your way out of every crisis and make you more confident. The solution to your body ache? The solution to low salary? The solution to relationship issues?
27. Focus On Other People
No, you don’t have to intervene in the lives of others! Just focus on strengths that other people have. It can be communication skills, aura, pleasant talking skills, or fashion sense. Be around them, offer compliments, be curious and learn some good skills. This exercise will prevent you from focusing on your own awkwardness. And make you more assertive and confident in all social situations.
28. Recognise That The World Is Not Thinking About You
You just do what you want to do in life. Don’t think that the world is focused on you and your life. Don’t try to be perfect all the time as it will only lower your self-confidence. You don’t need to please anyone. Everyone is busy with their lives and will not focus on you unless you are world-famous.
Related: 21 Things That Change When You Start Respecting Yourself
29. Do Something, Start Something
There are times when we don’t know what we want or what to do. Right? Then do something, start something (anything). When you begin to put consistent efforts, your goals become clear and you will discover your mission. That’s how you grow your self-confidence.
Build your self-confidence and transform yourself and your life!
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