Being in love with someone you are not in a relationship with can be difficult. But when they don’t love you back, it can be downright painful. When you have been in love with someone for too long without dating them and there is no hope for a relationship, it becomes important that you learn to let go after a certain point. Here are some ways you can start letting go of someone you love but never dated.
Moving on is painful but necessary
Unrequited love can be painfully beautiful. And it can be beautifully painful. But what is unrequited love? It refers to unreciprocated or one-sided romantic feelings for someone where the person of interest is either unaware of their feelings or has rejected their romantic advances. While the world may look down on one-sided love, those who do fall in love with someone they are not in a relationship with, know the purity and intensity of their emotions. However, this one-sided experience can be poetically heartbreaking when you lose hope of ever being in an official relationship with the person you are in love with.
While you may not want to move on from this intense romantic feeling regardless of how much it may affect your mental and emotional health, it is crucial that you learn to do so, for your own self and for the people who love and want to see you happy. Yes, it is difficult to let go of someone you cared for so deeply, someone you loved so madly…but sometimes letting go of someone you love but never dated is the only way to find the love that you deserve. When you let go of what is not meant to be, you will move towards the person you are actually meant to be with for the rest of your life – your soul mate.
How to let go of someone you love but never dated
“How do I let go of someone I love?” If you keep asking yourself that then you need to know that letting go is an art that most of us need to learn. Whether you want to let go of a toxic relationship or someone you love deeply, it can be a real challenge to deliberately stop loving someone. If you are stuck in a confusing romantic non-relationship, then here are a few ways to move forward and find inner peace.
Wondering how to get over someone you never dated? Here’s how to get started.
1. Follow the no-contact rule
Rule number 1: Avoid all contact when letting go of someone you love. The No Contact rule states that if you want to move on from a relationship or an almost relationship, then you need to cut all contact with that person and with people who remind you of them, like common friends. So that means no flirting, no texting, no calling, no stalking their social media profile. Nada. Once you stop all contact with them, you will have the mental space to recalibrate your thoughts and emotions which will eventually help you to move on.
In case complete no contact is not possible, limit your interactions with them to only necessary communication and create a safe distance from your crush. If this sounds too challenging for you, start with just 30 days of no contact. That’s one effective way when you are wondering how to get over someone you love.
Read Does The 30-day No Contact Rule Actually Work?
2. Talk to a trusted loved one
When you are letting go of someone you love but not in a relationship with, it can lead to a lot of confusion. You may doubt your own emotions and may wonder if you should feel the way you are feeling. After all, you haven’t even dated them. But all your emotions are valid and important. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain clarity and a new perspective on the situation. When you open yourself up to them honestly, they will be better able to guide you and support you through your difficult time. When you talk to loved ones, you will be able to heal faster.
3. Love yourself and do what YOU love
Yes, it’s cliche. But this is exactly what you need to hear right now, trust me. Shift your focus and attention from your crush to yourself. Give yourself the love that you seek. Yes, you want to be with the person you love and yes, it is heartbreaking. But the beauty in letting go of someone you love but not in a relationship with is that you learn to value yourself the hard way. You learn that your self-esteem and sense of self-worth is not dependent on the validation or approval you get from others, but from yourself. So practice self-love and self-care and do the things that you enjoy.
Build your own self-identity and give yourself the respect you deserve. Pursue your hobbies and passions, hone your talents, prioritize what matters to you, write a book, go on a solo trip…. Do whatever the hell you want. Just make sure to have some fun.
Read Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead
4. Acknowledge your emotions
How to get over someone you love deeply? By letting yourself feel the pain and allowing yourself to grieve. It hurts when someone doesn’t love you back and you have no option left but to move on without ever getting any closure. It can feel devastating when letting go of someone you love deeply knowing well that they will never love you. It can wreck your mental health and take you down a spiral. This is why it is important that you pause for a moment and take a look at how you are actually feeling. Accept and acknowledge your emotions. Be true to yourself and about how you are feeling. Instead of being gung-ho about the situation, give yourself permission to grieve and feel the pain.
Love is painful and that’s why it is so beautiful. If you don’t feel any pain, are you even in love, my friend? So allow yourself to grieve and let your emotional pain and sadness dissipate naturally. Time is the greatest healer and that is the most honest truth. Trust the process of healing and let yourself grieve for a while. Just remember that once you are done with it, you need to pick yourself up and be strong so that you can move ahead boldly.
5. Seek professional help
Moving on and letting go of someone you love is undoubtedly a heart-wrenching experience. Realizing that the person you love so dearly doesn’t even bother about your emotions can break even the best of us. It can seriously damage our emotional and mental well-being, leading to depression and other mental health issues. If you are unable to cope with the pain of letting go of the person you love but never dated, then it may be wise to seek professional help and talk to a therapist.
A therapist can help you gain effective coping skills to get over your situation in a healthy and positive way. Moreover, they can help you identify if you have any underlying psychological conditions and help you heal. So if you are having difficulty getting over your crush or ex, then make sure to consult a professional therapist immediately. It just might be exactly what you need to move on and get your life back on order.
How do you get over someone you love
Life being what it is, sometimes moving on might not be as easy as we may hope for. So if you are still wondering how to emotionally let go of someone you love, here are some more ways of getting over someone you never dated –
- Start journaling and write down your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis to start letting go of someone you love
- Practice gratitude and be thankful for all the good things in your life and appreciate the relationships you have
- Instead of isolating yourself, socialize more often and spend time with friends and family
- Make a list of all the qualities you want in your ideal partner and develop those skills in yourself
- Create some healthy space in your mind and your heart for some new romantic interest to enter into
- Focus on your studies or your career and get involved passionately
- Do things that can help you build your confidence and self-esteem
- Stay away from social media for the time being and use your time wisely
- Start dating again and flirt with others
- Delete all the texts from your crush or ex and stop reading them repeatedly
- Stop fantasizing about what could have been and challenge your negative thoughts
- Find new reasons to be happy and seek new experiences
Once you learn how to get over unrequited love, you will be able to create a more positive life for yourself that is filled with self-love.
You deserve love
Losing someone you love is never easy, but you deserve better from life. You deserve love, happiness, peace of mind, and security in relationships. Chasing someone who doesn’t love back is harder and more damaging than letting go of someone you love but have never dated. Tell yourself that you are better than this and demand more from yourself.
While we can’t always control who we fall in love with, we can always control how we feel about and react to a situation that is not working in our favor. Follow the tips mentioned above if you are struggling to get over someone you are not in a relationship with to build a more positive and happier life and attract a better relationship in future.
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