Are You Thriving or Trapped in the Limitation Box?
How do we break from limitations and thrive in life? We consume the books, quiet ourselves in meditation, flood the churches and contort our bodies in yoga studios seeking enlightenment. The wise teachers say it’s right there inside us all along, yet we often live like men dying of thirst trekking across dry desserts while we complain of the weight of full canteens strapped to our sides. We’re such wonky beings!
The philosopher and brilliant theologian CS Lewis said, “We are like little children splashing in mud puddles that never knew a day at the beach, content with breadcrumbs from the table not realizing our cupboards are full.”
Call it the Ego, the Devil, the Darkness, the Shadow Self…hell, call it Satan with visions of horns and pitch forks, it doesn’t really matter! There is a force of the universe that can be partnered with, a resistant counter push, that if met with judo-like intention, can be re-directed to powerfully catapult us to new states of being, higher-selves paving the way to immeasurable peace and tranquility.
How? Glad you asked!
When you are done, truly done…there your freedom will be, waiting for you to embrace. It will be a righteous anger that will pave the way for your vindication to a life of thriving.
Still skeptical? Fine, I’ll share a deeper version of the story.
In 2009, I began a journey of freedom. Read this, relate to it and I’ll show you how to build your own story that will offer a sense of vindication and clarity that will create a powerful foundation to building a life where you thrive.
Ready? Check it out…it’s dark, but raw-and-real and was the breakthrough catalyst to massive awakening!
“Born into a fully developed plan not yet lived, I scurry from infancy to run a race set before me. Attempting to be fashionable in another person’s custom suit, I hack at the sleeves and roll up the legs, spit-shining my own shoes to convince you I’m winning at a game I don’t even want to play.
Robin is a this, a that….bombarded by titles, encapsulated in a confining box, I grow into hysteria levels of claustrophobia instigated by only one of your assuming questions of leading intent. If only you were truly curious about…me.
You see me, my appearance, faults or even my talents and your “Box Factory” is busy at construction in preparation of how well you’ll stuff me inside and call it leadership. For years I’ve been content, excited even with fancy boxes coated in velvet, placed on pedestals only to find the bow I was wrapped in became my leash for another’s humorous get-back-in-line tug.
Worse, when all hope is lost and self identity squeezed out, when my title became my name bestowed to me on your plastic trophy to indicate reward, my only escape was to take your pricey red ribbon and hang myself to create a self-imposed freedom…if only for a minute. At one point of epic desperation, I’m content with only a second of distance, separated from your story for me. Give me the dignity of rebellion!
There is a notion of freedom, an air of your perfume and it smells SO sweet. I’m intoxicated back into your matrix of control, disguised by brilliant packaging. Lured back in by the beautiful sirens sexual call…I compete and claw for yet another plastic trophy if I’ll only to achieve that next obscure metric.
Like a chicken paid to dance, you heat the expectation floor to scalding temperatures so I’ll amuse you with rewards and once tired and done…I hop back into my box home where I can sit on the shelf, quiet and neat. My eyes shut from weariness, looking for rest, there is a burning pull inside me. It’s warm, soothing and my spirit tingles as it whispers to me. It’s my creator’s voice, offering a glimmer of sunshine if I’ll only follow this light inside me.
With im-measureable joy of my divine encounter, I run to the church box, eager to share my encounter, certain that I’ve hit new measures of religious performance with showers of rewards to be mine, elevating me up the ladder to stardom levels.
With only one word uttered of my experience and your reaction is one of disruptive threat to my innovation with a sit-down realignment to focus….on the next plastic trophy. You look down upon me with eyes of judgement, removing your decorative Bible from it’s protective display sleeve and with one breath, pluck words from it’s context that seem to weave together a story that places me back into my place. Under the guise of prayer, you lead us down a path of seeking God in spite of my pleas of conviction that I JUST heard from Him, that freedom, identity and purpose are upon me.
The separation from the church box, it’s too scary to think of. What would I do without your approval? How would I be okay? Give me a second…let me hop back into my box. Hold on, I think I can see the next trophy…ya, this next one will be sweet…I just know it!
My eyes re-affix to the prize and I’m back-in-line, ready to run yet another race, safely put back into your expectations and in a place where you can understand who I am with none of your own self interests challenged. I’m so very sad. I know there is freedom, I just know that it will find me, whoever “you” are out there, whatever voice I hear speaking to me, please don’t give up on me.
Shhhh, I must get back to work for now.”
~Robin (September 2012)
Wow, that’s still hard to read, even all these years later. On a side note, for any of you out there with troubled religious pasts…I hear you and you’re not alone. There is a sweet freedom found in love, surrender and forgiveness.
This story above fueled an internal sense of rage in me to turn inward, unravel the twisted, fucked-up stories I believed and pave a way to the life I wanted to create.
THIS…is the pathway to thriving in life. We talk and hear a lot about living free, it’s a popular subject AND few discuss the how-to’s that guide us to this allusive peace found within.
If you’re reading this, freedom awaits and it’s closer than you may think. You simply MUST do the ONE thing you think you can not. Call it the Hero’s Journey, this pathway is yours, and yours alone. There will be nobody validating your course and seeking the opinions, and even support, of others will only delay your entry into your promised land.
You must act! Yes, just one small bold act of bravery, is all it takes to begin the process of alignment to new new places, new resources and the uncovering of the soul gold within.
For some that will look like establishing a new emotional boundary. For others, sharing your feelings, making peace with an addiction, leaving your abusive spouse/partner or simply choosing to love yourself one day at a time. Only you know and trust me, you DO know.
THIS…is the pathway to thriving in living, to the creative force of LOVE that surrounds us and we lose sight of when a few dark clouds loom.
Find the beauty within.
Clear the clouds, stand in the masculine energy of the beaming sun, bathe in the cascading comfort of the moon’s feminine energy and with a whisper from your heart, speak these words, “Show me my freedom now.”
Stand in the church, hands raised high to the music evoking emotion and call out to Jesus to show you a salvation deep from within yourself.
Contort your body, bending your muscles in the exhalation breath of the yoga posture and utter the words, “Namaste” to surrender to the greatness of yourself and others.
Experience what happens, when we feel powerfully the forces circling inside us. Your freedom is RIGHT there.
I love you,
~Robin
aka: Love Gangster
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