Everyone is selfish to some extent because sometimes you just have to be. You need a little bit of self-love, self-care, and self-importance in your life, otherwise, people will just keep on exploiting you and hurting you. But what about those people who are nothing but selfish? Who only think about themselves, even at the cost of others? How to deal with selfish people like that?
There’s a thin line between being self-assured and narcissistic, and never think that it’s the same thing. People who are selfish will try to make you believe that they are better than you, their needs are more important than yours, and that the world revolves around them. It can be very annoying, but you can deal with them.
Dealing with selfish people can be exhausting, but once you know how to deal with selfishness, you’ll see it’s really not that hard.
Related: Wetiko: The Virus of Egoism and Selfishness According to Native Americans
How To Deal With Selfish People: 8 Ways To Handle Self-Centered People
1. Don’t take them too personally.
When you are dealing with a self centered person, you need to understand that no matter how hard you try to make them understand something, they will never see where you’re coming from. They will continue to only care about their own needs, wants, and demands and will not spare a thought to you and what you want.
So why waste your time and energy on people like that? Whatever they say to you, let it go and try not to dwell on it. Protect your own mental peace, happiness, and sanity by not taking what they say and do personally. Don’t give them the attention and importance they don’t deserve.
2. Make them realize that they are not the center of the Universe.
People who are selfish are always very caught up in their own worlds, so it’s important to remind them sometimes that they are not the center of the world, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. When you are dealing with selfish people, you will quickly realize that they never spare a thought to others, and only care about their own lives.
Reminding them now and again about their inflated sense of self-importance is irrelevant in the grand scope of things might help them be more humble and down-to-earth. Show them their place and call them out on their selfishness without making them feel like you’re attacking them, instead behave in a very dignified and respectful manner. This way, they probably won’t feel the need to get into an ugly war of words with you.
3. Spend time with people who are not self-centered.
If you are dating an emotionally selfish person, or you have a close friend like that, then maybe it’s a good idea for you to maintain some distance from them and seek out better people to spend time with. When you think about how to deal with selfish people, one of the best things you can do is stay away from them and their negativity.
Spending time with people who are not self-centered and selfish will make you realize just how emotionally draining it is to be with people who are the exact opposite. Make better choices for yourself, and be with people who don’t make you feel like pulling your hair out every second of every day.
Related: 9 Signs Someone is Selfish
4. Don’t give them the attention they are so desperate for.
How to deal with selfish friends? How to deal with selfish family members? How to deal with selfish people at work? how to deal with selfish people in a relationship? The answer to all these questions is the same – DON’T GIVE THE ATTENTION THEY ALWAYS WANT, AND STARVE THEM OF IT!
When it comes to dealing with selfishness, this is one of the most powerful and best things you can do. The moment you stop giving them your attention and energy, either they will back off or they will try to change their ways. Throw non-committal, monosyllabic, and disinterested replies and statements at them, and just see how they react. It will completely throw them off their game, and they just won’t know what to do.
5. Accept the hard truth that they don’t care about anyone, but themselves.
Accepting the fact that this is how they are is going to be tough and will seem unfair, but it is what it is. The faster you realize and accept this, the better you will be able to handle them. Be true to yourself. Accept the hard truth that selfish people will never think about your feelings. They don’t care about your happiness and welfare. All they care about is themselves, and what they can do to get their needs met.
They don’t understand the meaning or the value of thoughtfulness, selflessness, kindness, and love. See them for who they truly are, and you will quickly understand what a waste of time it is trying to get them to change or see sense in their actions.
6. Stop being there for them whenever they need you.
Selfish people are selfish for a reason, for they know exactly what to do to take advantage of good people. When they need you, they will leave no stone unturned to get you on their side and do them favors. The moment they get what they want, they will dismiss you like trash. And the more your experience this, the more your self-esteem and pride take a hit.
So stop being there for them all the time, and make them understand that they can’t keep on using you whenever they want. Stop doing them favors and think about yourself. Be assertive, confident, and make it very clear that you’re not here to fulfill their wishes and demands, and if they can’t treat you with respect and kindness, you don’t need them in your life.
Related: Are You Dating A Selfish Person?
7. Set some strict and non-negotiable boundaries.
You cannot control how others behave, but what you can control is yourself. Selfish people don’t care how their actions affect others, so the solution is to draw some much-needed boundaries to protect yourself from their negativity. Dealing with selfish people can be a draining experience, and that’s why boundaries are always a good idea.
When you think about how to deal with selfishness, make sure you do this. Your boundaries will speak for themselves and will give them the message that they can’t just do whatever they want with you and your life. Your mental peace comes first, not their selfishness.
8. End the relationship you have with them and let them go.
If you find that they are unwilling to change their ways, and just don’t care about anything other than themselves, then maybe you should think of letting them go for good. If you are with an emotionally selfish person, it’s just a matter of time before they break your heart into pieces. You deserve to be with someone who is a good person, not someone who has selfishness seeping out of their pores.
Empathy and selflessness are great virtues to have, but if they show no trace of these, then you’re better off without them. You can try and help them as much as you want, but if they don’t realize their flaws, nothing will ever change. Maybe it’s a good idea to leave them and go your separate ways.
Related: 4 Signs You Are In A Selfish Relationship
Whenever you think about how to deal with selfish people in your life, come back to this post, because these tips will definitely help you. Selfish people don’t deserve your time, energy, and least of all, love. Take care of yourself, prioritize yourself, and treat yourself with kindness. And never let their negativity and drama get to you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What causes a person to be selfish?
One of the main reasons that leads a person to be selfish is when they think that they don’t have enough, and want more. They are never satisfied and content with how much they have, and obsess about how much more they can get their hands on.
What are selfish behaviors?
Selfish behaviors include just thinking about oneself, not caring how their actions might affect someone else, imposing their decisions and opinions on others, and not being selfless and helpful, even occasionally.
Are selfish people aware that they are selfish?
No, most of the time they are not aware that they are selfish. They see themselves as normal people with normal behaviors and tendencies.
Can a selfish person love?
No, selfish people are incapable of loving another person. Because they are always thinking about themselves and their needs, they are incapable of caring about another person selflessly.
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