One of the major difficulties an employer faces is tackling difficult conversations at the workplace. Many times they find a suitable solution for them, i.e. avoidance. But that actually causes negative consequences for both parties. The best solution is to tackle difficult conversations from the beginning itself to maintain good working relationships.
Over the last generation, companies have committed huge sums ofย time and moneyย into people development, and yet the same disruptive behavior penetrates business culture. The issue is with difficult conversations!
Whether itโs the rise of the digital world, the increase in virtual and remote teams, orย the public naming and shaming that happens across social platforms, people are opting to jump ship instead of working through challenges.
Fears about retribution or rejection often preventย people from speaking up at work, and according toย Vital Smarts, every conversation failure costs an organization, on average, $7,500.
While many leaders are comfortable being responsible for multi-million-dollar budgets, the thought of handling an employeeโs unpleasant emotional reaction can produce enough anxiety to keep such dialogue at bay. After all, feelings can get messy.
But not having these conversations createsย a leadership gap that impacts morale, retention,ย and bottom line. When you avoid courageous conversations, ripples are created that impede growth.
Here Are 7 Ways To Tackle Difficult Conversations
In other words, bringing people on board for difficult conversations may cause turbulence, but theyโre also inevitable, so here are seven ways to land safely with all passengersย intact.
1. Bypass Ego
People often wait until an interpersonal situation requires Navy Seal-worthy extraction before addressing it, but theย more you avoidย conflict, the more emotionally charged itย becomes.
Intersecting a pattern of behavior upon first sight is more proactive than the point-of-no-returnย method. Open, honestย and transparent conversations shortly after an issue has arisen is a habit youโll want to build. Practice makes conversations more comfortable to tackle in the future.
Related: How To Do Ego Work: 6 Steps That Will Help You Deal With Ego
2. Preparation Is King
Itโs essential to spend time planning responses to potentially challenging situations that donโt go according to plan. Outright scripted conversation can feelย inauthentic and insincere.
Rather, spend time coming up withย quality questionsย to help understand how the situation progressedย and everyoneโs roles in it. Invest in prevention and its future possibilities.
3. Look Beyond Behavior
Understanding someoneโs intent is more productiveย than hijacking the conversation with blame and shame. Aย Harvard Business Reviewย articleย recently highlightedย the significance of establishing the right energy going into a difficult conversation by asking yourself, โWhatโs the best way for this person to hear the message?โ
By initiating a conversation about how things are going for them, it creates an opportunity for self-reflection. You canโt be angry and self-reflect at the same time.
Related: The Art of Conversation: 25 Great Conversation Starters
4. Embrace Teachable Moments
Many leaders delay difficult conversations by ignoring behavior thatโsย incongruent with organizational values, leading to a build-up of emotion over time.
Discussing concerns via email is impersonal and too easy to misinterpret. Be proactive and organize in-person discussions.
5. Be Compassionate
Take the time to step into someone elseโs shoes and identify whether any other factors are contributing to the current situation.ย Your empathyย lowers the likelihood of a defensive response. Also, be sensitive to an ideal time or location for the conversation. Neutral sites can help avoid interruption or eavesdropping.
Choose your words carefully, andย be mindful of tone andย body language. Know your emotional triggers and the limits of your role and responsibility, and if you feel youโveย been triggered, hit the pause button and take a break.
Related: 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion
6. Leadย With Your Emotions
Check-in with your emotions before, during, and afterย the conversation to ensure that you are responding and not reacting. Another approach to keep tensions from accelerating is toย slow the pace of the conversation.
Moderating your cadenceย allows you to gather your thoughts and choose words that areย congruent with your actions.
7. Co-Create Solutions
When both parties weigh-in, there is an increased chance of behavioral change. Coming out of any such meeting, itโs essential to agree on the outcomes.
Written confirmation shortly afterward helps avoid confusion and prevent misunderstanding, and it typifies how โ with a preparedness to listen respectfully and talk honestly โ a difficult conversation can become a constructive interaction thatโs beneficial for all.
Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.
Written By: Angela Kambouris Connect with her on LinkedIn Originally Appeared On: AngelaKambouris.com Republished with permission.
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