Romantic relationships are dynamic – continuously evolving, replicating circumstances, traumas, ups and downs, and the daily hectic routines of both partners.
The everyday experiences that affect “me” and “you” ultimately have a significant impact on “us.” The strongest relationships have both partners who keep a routine check on themselves, their significant other, and their relationship to analyze how things are going and if there is a necessity to make changes for improvement.
But, how could someone evaluate if their relationship has changed? A great start is to have a look at your own contributions. What are you doing to make your significant other happy? How are your activities and opinions impacting the quality of everyday interactions of you and your spouse?
A healthy relationship is based on a solid foundation; otherwise, it will easily collapse as it might not sustain the pressure. Think of it, like building a house. You start at the bottom and ensure that the foundation is safe and sound, and after that, you move on to the walls, the color scheme, the interior design, the furniture, the details, and finally the spirit that makes your house perfect. Basically, it is the same case with relationships. A happy and prosperous relationship demands the same amount of effort and unconditional love from both partners. So, if you want a better relationship, the change always starts with yourself. You need to work hard to earn that kind of relationship.
To do your part, here are 7 ways to become a better companion you have always sought to be and improve your relationship with your significant other:
1. Learn to take care of your own happiness
Taking care of yourself is the first and foremost step, which is always a win-win for you and your relationship. Self-care leads to a happier relationship. Anything that gives you a few minutes of joy is a fair game here. For example, go outside and just breathe in all that green for a few minutes, if it makes you happy. Or maybe watching an episode of Friends makes you happy. Raising plants, painting or dancing; do whatever makes you happy! Make a few friends and spend time without your partner. You don’t have to be like a co-dependent unit that can’t be separated. Admit what you don’t like and who you don’t like. Make it clear to avoid any conflict in your relationship.
Self-control is the most significant factor that has a strong impact on your relationship. People with higher self-control can respond more constructively to their significant others. There is a positive and strong correlation between self-control and a prosperous relationship. Diet and sleep are at the top of the to-do-list. Sleep deprivation has a severe impact on your energy level, mental changes, and mood, but at the same time, it reduces glucose level in the body resulting in the adverse impact on self-control.
2. Take maintenance behavior actions
Relationship happiness is positively affected by certain human behaviors. Obviously, these human behaviors are natural, but you can put intentional efforts to engage in them to improve your relationship. According to a research study by Laura Stafford, these seven behaviors play an important role in relationship satisfaction, happiness, love, and commitment.
Positivity – When spending quality time, express your feelings, happiness, and pleasure.
Understanding – Do your best to listen, forgive, apologize, and avoid judgment.
Giving assurance – Discuss future; remind your spouse what he/she means to you.
Self-disclosing – Express your feeling and give your partner an open space to do the same.
Openness – Tell your partner what you need or want in your relationship.
Sharing tasks – Share all responsibilities (family, household, relationship) equally.
Involve networks – Spend time with your spouse’s family and friends.
3. Express your feelings and gratitude
You are a human being with lots of emotions. Of course, you have the right to be angry, mad, frustrated, or sad and you also have the right to express your true feelings. Say all those kind words, as your partner might want to hear them. But, at the same time, you have to control your emotions, too. No matter how you feel, try not to take your frustration out on your spouse. No matter how angry or sad you are, you shouldn’t put up your significant other with your insufferable behavior. Do you express your gratitude? Feeling grateful is one thing, but expressing your gratitude to your partner is another. Sharing your feeling of gratitude is positively linked to a healthier relationship. Always be kind and generous to your partner. Show him how happy you are to have him.
4. Keep a check on your ego
Well, you also need to focus on humility to improve your relationship with your partner. Humility is identified as the most important ingredient for a successful relationship. It also improves one’s relationship by adding an element of forgiveness, which is, no doubt, a powerful tool for a prosperous relationship. You can evaluate yourself by simply asking for feedback from your spouse. You can even check if they are being true by monitoring their relationship perspective shared with their close friends and fellows. But, never, ever try to keep a check on them using spyware programs that many couples have started using these days.
“Humility creates more oxygen in the room. It allows for others to participate and come together and make a change. If you think you already know everything or act like you do, other people will check out, and things won’t get done as quickly or as well,” said Paul Shoemaker.
You can do these six things to be more humble:
- Ask for feedback from your partner
- Face your pride
- Start with a question instead of a solution
- Listen carefully
- Accept setbacks
- Take notice and express gratitude
5. Be inquisitive about your partner’s viewpoint
When you are feeling rebuked or scrutinized, this step is easier said than done. However, if you want to improve your relationship with your partner, one of the best things to do in such circumstances is to be inquisitive about the perspective of your partner. This act can positively help you in de-escalating the rising stress and stiffness between you two.
In this way, you can learn new things about your partner and converge your conversation in a positive resolution. It doesn’t mean you just have to agree with your partner’s perspective, rather, you can be curious how their view is different from yours. You can practice this next time you have a heated discussion and see how things will change.
6. Anticipate issues before they become issues
Couples usually avoid talking about small issues, but it leads to unresolved and much bigger issues than they were initially. When things are going well, you may not want to rock the boat. You may believe that complaining or raining issues will bring nothing good. The reality is, couples who try to avoid conflict almost always end up in lots of it. It is fine to name or flag issues with each other, even if the issues are too small. One of the best ways to do this is to have a regular open discussion and relationship assessment. Over time, this practice will make you more confident about your ability to effectively deal with disagreements. Communication in a relationship demands constant attention. So, start with the basics and develop a strong connection to ensure the durability of your love with each other.
7. Spend quality time
Relationship satisfaction and happiness highly depend on the quality time spent together. A healthy and prosperous relationship is based on a solid foundation. You can’t possibly make it if you can’t spare some time for your spouse. Quality time spent with your spouse matters. So, it is more important to improve the quality. Of course, the world is fast-paced and busy. But, it all depends on us to set our priorities straight.
Hopefully, these simple steps can help improve your relationship. It is important to note here that a healthy relationship is difficult to achieve unilaterally. The needs of “me,” “You,” and “us” demand ongoing effort from both partners. That said, your everyday effort will change the relationship for your significant other potentially influencing his thoughts and behaviors.
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