Marriage of Convenience or True Love? 8 Signs You’re Just Settling

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Marriage of Convenience or True Love? Signs You’re Settling

If you think you are in a marriage of convenience, you will know that it doesn’t feel like a fairy tale, rather it’s about maintaining the status quo. Maybe you are staying in this marriage because everything is “okay” and “stable”.

All the bills are getting paid on time, the house is comfortable, and the kids are happy to have both their parents under the same roof. Moreover, you don’t want to deal with the hassle that comes with filing for a divorce, so you just…stay.

Does this sound familiar? The unfortunate truth is that many married couples stay in a loveless marriage because dealing with the alternate option is scary. They’re together, but they’re not really together. They function more like roommates, business partners, or co-parents rather than lovers.

So, if you have ever thought, “Am I in this marriage for love or simply because it’s easier?” – then this article is for you.

Let’s start with trying to understand what is marriage of convenience.

Related: Signs You’re in a Loveless Marriage (And How to Cope with It)

What Is Marriage of Convenience?

A marriage of convenience is not built on emotional connection, passion or love. Rather, it’s all about routine, stability, and of course convenience. You stay together because it’s the practical and easy thing to do, even if you don’t feel any romantic emotions towards them.

It could be about kids, money, fear of social backlash or even to avoid loneliness. It’s the kind of marriage where you’re not necessarily unhappy, but you’re not deeply happy either. You’re just… existing.

Okay, now that we know what is marriage of convenience, let’s talk about the signs you are staying in a marriage of convenience.

8 Signs You Are Staying in a Marriage of Convenience

Signs You Are In A Marriage Of Convenience info

1. You feel more like roommates than a couple.

You know you are in a relationship of convenience when it feels like you are two people co-managing a household, rather than being in an actual marriage. You split bills, divide chores, and maybe even sleep in separate rooms—but there’s no real connection.

If you feel that your relationship has lost it’s romantic and emotional spark and you are just existing together under the same roof, then that’s a massive red flag.

Yes, life gets busy, and not every day is bound to be a good day, but if your marriage feels more like a practical arrangement than an emotional partnership, it might be out of convenience, not love.

You feel more like roommates than a couple

2. You stay because it’s easier than leaving.

Let’s be real—divorce is messy. It’s expensive, emotionally draining, and a logistical nightmare. So instead of facing the hassle, you just stay put.

You tell yourself that it’s not that bad, but deep down, you know you are not happy. You know that you are just settling. You know you are not leaving because it will lead to too many complications which you don’t want to deal with.

Well, that’s not love, my friend, you are simply avoiding discomfort.

3. You don’t miss each other when you’re apart.

When your spouse goes away for a trip, do you feel relieved? Do you enjoy the peace and quiet a little too much? If your spouse is away and you barely notice their absence, that’s one of the major signs you are staying in a marriage for convenience.

In a healthy and loving marriage, partners miss each other when they’re apart. If you feel indifferent about their presence, your marriage might be running on autopilot.

4. Your conversations are always very surface-level.

What kind of conversations do you have with each other on a daily basis? Do you only talk about picking up the kids, what’s for dinner and whose turn it is to wash the dishes? You know where I am going with this, don’t you?

One of the best things about being a loving and healthy marriage are meaningful, deep conversations; they are like the glue that holds your relationship together.

So, if your communication all about business and has zero emotional depth, then you are simply surviving out of habit rather than connection.

Related: When Relationship Becomes Business: 5 Signs Of A Transactional Relationship

5. There’s no physical intimacy (and you don’t care).

Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but let’s be honest—it’s a very important part of a romantic relationship. You know you are in a relationship of convenience, if it completely lacks physical affection, and neither of you seems to mind.

Dry spells are normal in any marriage, but if intimacy feels irrelevant to you, or you feel repulsed by it, then that’s concerning.

If the thought of kissing your spouse feels awkward or forced, you’re probably in a marriage of convenience.

6. You’re staying for the kids.

What is marriage of convenience? Staying in an unhappy marriage for the kids is one of the biggest reasons behind staying in a marriage of convenience. You don’t want to disrupt their lives, so you convince yourself that staying together is best.

But here’s the thing—kids are intelligent enough to pick up on tension. They can sense when something isn’t right or when their parents are not happy.

Sometimes, staying in a loveless marriage for their sake does more harm than good. A peaceful, separate home is often better than a toxic, forced one.

7. You fantasize about life without them.

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about a life where you’re single and free? Maybe you imagine yourself making a fresh start, or being in a relationship full of love and contentment, or even just the peace of being on your own.

Having fleeting thoughts like this is normal, but if you constantly think about having a happier life without your spouse, then you need to rethink your marriage.

You fantasize about life without them

8. You stay because of financial stability.

Money is a huge factor in why people stay in unhappy marriages. Maybe you are dependent on your spouse financially, or the thought splitting assets makes you want to run for the hills.

Or maybe the idea of downsizing your lifestyle makes you stay put. But ask yourself this—are you willing to trade genuine happiness for financial security?

If you answered yes, then you are in a marriage of convenience, not a marriage of love.

Related: Is An Unhappy Marriage Better Than Divorce?

Takeaway

Marriage is supposed to be about love, connection, and growth—not just convenience. If you see yourself in these signs, it’s time for some honest reflection. Ask yourself:

  • Am I staying because I want to, or because it’s the easier option?
  • Is their any hope for this marriage, or is it too late?
  • What do I truly want for my future?

If your relationship feels like a transaction instead of a love story, it’s okay to acknowledge that. You deserve a marriage that fulfills you—not one you just tolerate.

So, what’s next? That’s up to you.


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