Having unrealistic expectations in a relationship is a sure way to kill it. Itโs like giving importance to illusions more than reality. Do you want your relationship to thrive in the future? Here are 5 things not to do.
Unrealistic expectations in a relationship stem from unhealed trauma and damaged portions of our ego that seek validation.
If you choose to be mindful to understand all your emotions with time and patience, you will see half of them are your hidden fears accumulated over the years. You can analyze any situation based on facts before you mix fears and insecurities into it!
Letโs look at the 5 most common unrealistic expectations in a relationship that kills it.
5 Unrealistic Expectations in a relationship leading to break-up
Here are the most common 5 unrealistic expectations that eventually kill the relationship. Are you expecting any one of them Keep scrolling to know more!
Expectation 1: My partner should spend most of the time with me
To expect your partner to spend most of his/her time with you is one of the unrealistic expectations in a relationship that always ends in disappointment. You need to understand that your partner has a life of his/her own and choosing to spend time on important work is not neglecting you.
The exception: If there is a wide gap in communication between you both, then, it is a point for consideration.
Expectation 2: We should not disagree on moralistic topics
Your partner and you had different upbringings. You both may have different views on important matters, but this should not be the reason to judge a person.
You need to be a tad more open-minded to respond to such situations critically instead of overthinking and acting out of impulse.
The exception: if you both differ on grounds that form the foundation of your relationship, then, you can understand your partnerโs point of view and decide to either continue or break up in a non-judgmental manner.
Expectation 3: My partner should know what I feel
Expecting your partner to be a mind reader? Do you think that helps your relationship? Relationships should be a place of comfort for both.
Expecting your partner to know how you feel is a common expectation that ruins everything! It might not be always possible for your partner to understand, and it is not a proof of your partner not having genuine feelings for you.
You can learn to communicate your feelings in a constructive way
The exception: if your partner is not emotionally mature enough to understand your expressions and takes it as personal attacks, you can consider breaking up in this case.
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Expectation 4: I should be the priority in my partnerโs life
Among other unrealistic expectations in a relationship, wishing to be a priority in someone elseโs life can lead to disappointment and heartbreak.
A person can have different priorities in life, and your expectation and reaction when it is not being met can come off as a power game which will ultimately lead your partner to disconnect.
Your focus here should be the reason you want to become someoneโs priority in life. You need to look within yourself and not at your partner for certain problems that you face in your relationships.
The exception: When your partner does not discuss problems in a relationship and shuts down, then you can decide if it is right to stay or to leave.
Expectation 5: My partner should never make me feel unhappy
Giving your partner the responsibility for your happiness is a huge burden that he/she might not be able to bear. Your happiness can never be someoneโs responsibility as only you can know what truly makes you happy. But do you know that yet?
This unrealistic expectation in a relationship does not allow a relationship to breathe or to flourish.
The exception: if your happiness is getting affected because of someoneโs interference or abusive behavior, then it is a matter of concern.
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Takeaway
Being mindful does not hurt anyone. While alerting yourself about unrealistic expectations in relationships, do not miss the actual red flags. Hope this helps you to understand and navigate through your relationships!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can a relationship exist without expectations?
No. A no-expectation relationship generally means that you are unsure of what you want to do in your life and the reason behind getting into a relationship.
Does true love have expectations?
Love may not have expectations and is unconditional, but relationships and commitments cannot be without expectations.
What is the most unrealistic expectation in love?
One of the unrealistic expectations in relationships is expecting your partner to bring you all the happiness in life.
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