5 Toxic Habits That Kill Your Self Esteem

Having low self esteem can severely affect your confidence and your mental well-being. It can also impact your personal, professional, and social life.ย 

When you think of damaged self esteem, what do you think of?

Most likely you think of a person who crushed your dreams and sense of self by uttering painful words of discouragement. You think of someone else causing the damage to your sweet, innocent self-esteem. And itโ€™s true.

How to handle mean words from others would be another topic for another day, but today I want to bring to your attention the idea that you can actually damage your own self esteem.

I donโ€™t want to imply this means youโ€™re doing anything wrong. This is not to beat you up, but exactly the opposite. I want to help you recognize your negative thought patterns so you can make positive changes and feel empowered in who you are.

Read What is Self-Esteem And How To Raise It?

Here are five ways you may be killing your own self esteem:

1. Holding on to past mistakes.

Have you ever felt that gut-punch feeling as you suddenly flashback to a mistake you made? Do you constantly dwell on your failures? Whenever you want to move forward, does the remainder of your past paralyze you?

Holding on to past mistakes is a sure way to hurt your self esteem. Itโ€™s like continuously picking a scab; it can never fully heal.

Read 5 Reasons Why Letting Go of a Past Love Is Important for Future Happiness

2. Defining yourself by what youโ€™ve done rather than who you ARE.

This is often linked to #1. It happens when you begin to shift your thinking from โ€œI failedโ€ to โ€œIโ€™m a failure.โ€ There is a huge difference between these two thoughts. One describes a past situation and the other describes the present self. My friend, you are not your mistakes.

3. Expecting perfection.

Expecting is a very different thing from aiming. Someone who expects perfection will be crushed when they inevitably donโ€™t reach it. Someone who aims for perfection sets it as a goal but knows perfection is impossible and so accepts when they donโ€™t reach it.

If you expect the impossible, you will always be disappointed. But if you aim high, with a good dose of โ€œI did my best and that is all that matters,โ€ you will feel satisfied no matter how much or how little you achieved.

4. Letting 1 weakness overshadow 5 strengths.

We tend to focus on the negative, donโ€™t we? Itโ€™s in our human nature. We focus on the asymmetrical shape of our nose rather than our clear complexion and gorgeous eyes. We get frustrated over one misspelled word in the midst of thousands of beautifully crafted sentences.

We let one โ€œbad paintingโ€ define our painting skills rather than the three others that others loved and bought for us. But the flaws are what stand out to us. We need to shift our thinking, not to ignore our weaknesses, but to remember our strengths.

Read 5 Life-Changing Habits That Will Build Your Self-Esteem

5. Thinking the voices in your head are real people.

No, Iโ€™m not talking schizophrenia. I mean when you have thoughts in your head such as โ€œthis is going to fail,โ€ โ€œyouโ€™re wasting your time,โ€ โ€œyouโ€™re not good enoughโ€ and you equate it with real people. You begin to believe that people really will think youโ€™re a failure if you put yourself out there. You believe the voices in your head are what everyone is actually saying about you. But itโ€™s not true.

Sure, there may be a handful of people who will think that about you, so what? There will be hundreds that love you, admire your work, and may even be inspired by your courage to do what you do. Even if you help just one person, isnโ€™t it worth it?


Written by Kent Sanders
Originally appeared on Kent Sanders
STOP Killing Your Self-Esteem: 5 Habits You Need To Change Now
self esteem

— Share —

, ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

5 Deadpool Quotes That Prove Life is Hilarious and Deep

Deadpool Quotes That Prove Life is Hilarious

โ€˜Deadpoolโ€™ isnโ€™t just any superhero film; itโ€™s the film for all you sarcastic loving people, thanks to its hilariously foul-mouthed protagonist. And below are some Deadpool quotes about life that will show you how funny yet deep the movie is!

The multiversal comedy-action duo Deadpool and Wolverine, played by Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, are ready to entertain their fans. It has been six years since the last time we saw this superhero couple reunited on screen together again so you know itโ€™s going to be good!

Up Next

6 Lessons From Emily In Paris Every Millennial and Gen Z Can Relate To

Lessons From Emily In Paris Every Millennial Gen Z Can Relate

Lily Collinโ€™s popular Netflix show isnโ€™t just about pretty outfits, Parisian backdrops, or love triangles but many important life lessons from Emily In Paris that speak to anyone trying to figure out the ups and downs of their 20s.

So, whether youโ€™re tuning in for the fashion or Emilyโ€™s dramatic love life, thereโ€™s a lot to learn from her experiences in the City of Love. Here are six takeaways from the show that might resonate with you on your own journey through life.

6 Meaningful Lessons From Emily In Paris!

1. Learning A New Language Can Change Your Life

Do you recall the time Emily arrived in Paris

Up Next

Things People Learn Too Late In Life: 7 Eye-Opening Life Lessons

Things People Learn Too Late in Life Eye Opening Life Lessons

Life is full of unexpected events and sometimes there are things people learn too late. Though some lessons come with age and experience, as time goes by, we often wish we had known some important truths sooner.

These moments of truth can be very shocking as well as transformative, they help us live authentically, appreciate what truly matters, and make the most of our time. Below are seven crucial life lessons people learn too late and can still change the way they approach life.

7 Things People Learn Too Late In

Up Next

Is Lifestyle Creep Sneaking Up on You? 2 Key Signs to Reassess Your Spending Habits

Are you familiar with the term lifestyle creep? Even if you are not, you may be a part of it unknowingly. Wondering why? Because it comes very subtly with the upgradation of our lifestyle.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

You get a raise or a bonus, and suddenly, your daily coffee turns into a pricey latte, your old car feels outdated, and that budget-friendly vacation de

Up Next

Why Itโ€™s So Hard to Admit Youโ€™re Wrong: 7 Surprising Psychological Barriers You Didnโ€™t Know About

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a heated debate, feeling that gnawing sensation that you might be wrong, but donโ€™t want to admit it? Or maybe you are watching someone double down on their stance, even when all evidence points to the contrary, and wondering, โ€œWhy canโ€™t they just say theyโ€™re wrong?โ€ Itโ€™s a common scenario that plays out in classrooms, workplaces, and even family dinners, leaving many of us puzzled about why it is so hard to admit to being wrong.

Up Next

4 Powerful Ways to Accept Vulnerability and Sensitivity In Your Life

Vulnerability and sensitivity โ€“ are two character traits that are often misunderstood and considered obstacles, but did you know they can be blessings in disguise?

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Our early childhood and formative years, particularly in early infancy, adolescence, and young adulthood are the main times when we get maximum life-altering experiences. This

Up Next

What Self Love Is Not? Understanding 5 Common Misconceptions About Loving Yourself

Self love is not just taking bubble baths and affirmations. Itโ€™s definitely not an individualistic ego thing. So what is it truly? This simple-sounding phrase has a broader meaning in our lives and in this article, weโ€™ll discover what it means to love yourself!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

The effect of post-modernism has made everyone quite detached from each oth