Getting into a serious relationship can be very exciting. But, before you take this step, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
The lure of knowing another person, having that person be equally interested in knowing you, and just the thrill of a seemingly interesting dating game can be enough to keep one on their toes for days or even months at a stretch.
However, after being in a relationship that has ended — or even if you are beginning one, the desire to be with the person who has taken your fancy can override a lot of vital reactions of your body. Namely, common sense and practicality.
Not that you need the latter until a little later… but, the time always comes.
To overcome these breaches in vital responses, you could use these points as a checklist to make sure you are involving your brain in the correct amount along with your heart.
You see, hearts have this messed-up habit of making you believe things, that may or may not be: you may think getting into a relationship is the best thing ever, but so was getting on the Titanic — we all know how that turned out.
That being said; you might want to remember that even though all the following points are very straight forward and practical, they only come after you are completely sure that you love the person in question.
A serious relationship here is not supposed to be misunderstood for a profitable agreement done out of selfishness.
You need all the basic ingredients that make any relationship work:
- You should be happy together,
- You should understand both the said and the unsaid, and
- You should be able to feel free to them.
- You should feel like they are your home.
- Know if you are ready for it.
Whether it is your first time or not, getting into a serious relationship is definitely not like the Terms & Conditions page that you can hit an ‘I agree’ without knowing what you are getting into.
There are responsibilities towards the other person, priorities that sometimes need to be reset, and the consequences of that decision to be faced once you hit this particular ‘I agree’.
One thing you might want to be absolutely sure about is that you are willing to do this out of pure affection towards the person. Not because it is what everyone is doing so even you are supposed to, not even because this person seems to be a good rebound from your previous relationship.
Related: 13 Habits Common In All Successful Relationships
Understand if you like the person or the idea of that person.
You might want to analyze your feelings about the person you like about why exactly you like them. Make sure your feelings are not based on what you assume they are like.
Similarly, you even might want to analyze if you are eager to get into the relationship not just because you like the titular satisfaction of being somebody’s boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Serious relationships are essential to be based on truth and trust. What you sow throughout, you can be sure will come back to you at one point of time or the other. You have to make sure that all that is sown is good and pure.
Ask yourself if you are only there for the benefits.
This is where you ask yourself what you like about the person of your interest. And what you love the most. Separate the material pleasures from the immaterial ones.
Isolate your lust from your emotional equation and really figure out what keeps you hooked to your person. It can be any of the activities you do together — talking, traveling, reading, exercising, anything.
- Would you still be there if their likes shift?
- Or if there were no physical pleasures involved?
- Would you still want this if it involved only talking the whole time?
- How about during the test periods?
- Do you think both of you can work your way through all the tests of life?
- Do your ideologies match?
You cannot expect to have a successful relationship if your ideas of life or politics or general humanity do not match theirs. Not that you both should have the exact same moral code — only that they should minimally align.
This is something you might want to check on very early in your relationship. No matter how compatible you both might be, you can expect a fall-out if the topic steers to a social discussion and you find out they are, say, a racist, how do you really think that will go down if you are not?
It is not just about social views, it is about your philosophy of life (the dreams you wish to fulfill, the way you wish to spend your income), your idea of being settled and having a family (the distribution of chores, the priority of your jobs, the desire to have kids, other allied schedules, and everything in between), the solidarity of your beliefs (your religions, the religion your kids would follow if you plan to have kids sometime).
You would also need to know where each of you stands compared to all these beliefs in each other’s life — and if both of you are comfortable with the rank you each take on that priority list.
Related: 8 Ways To Better Understand Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship
How serious is this?
Like, really. If you are considering a serious relationship, you already know how serious YOU are. But, what about them? You need to know their expectations, their future plans, and their outlook on major things by now.
You should be sure both of you are aware of where this is heading and both of you will have to agree with the imminent outcome. You will also need to be sure about the seemingly cliché-questions about how far you both really can go for each other.
Who are you willing to stand against if you believe in your person when they become your significant other? To what extent can you go to defend their pride and beliefs? And to what extent if you only partly believe in them?
Related: 26 Things You Need To Make Your Relationship Last
Because in the long-run, this will all matter.
The relationship is serious work even though it may not seem so. It requires a healthy amount of love, understanding, trust, and support — from both the people involved.
But, they also work a lot on pure determination and stubbornness much more than anything else.
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