In a culture that favors the Extrovert, where boldness is synonymous with confidence and quietness with shyness, an introvert can feel grossly misunderstood. While there are numerous myths about introverts, even after knowing us well, many people just don’t get why we are the way we are!
Well, they are not alone in feeling this way…there are many things about the extrovert personality that just don’t make sense to an introvert, like their need to go out every weekend just because they have nothing better to do and make small talk with random people…my list is quite long…
Let’s deep dive into the extrovert traits that not only don’t make sense but are also annoying and absolutely uncomfortable for us introverts.
12 Things That Don’t Make Sense To An Introvert
1. When Others Think That Spending Time Alone Is Boring
We quiet and solitude-loving people fail to understand how spending alone time is thought of as “boring” in the extrovert world. There are so many meaningful things that you can do alone, activities that help you connect more deeply with yourself and truly make you feel happy.
An introverted personality likes to engage in activities that require concentration and contemplation, like reading a book or creating art. It releases the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which leaves us feeling peaceful and satisfied. Not to mention, we just need a few moments of solitude to recharge our batteries and prepare to interact with the world the next day. Can’t help it, that’s just how we are wired…
Related: We Asked Our Readers What Annoys Them As Introverts – This Is What They Said
2. Extra-Chatty Colleagues
Open space workplace designs are terrifying for one reason. A super talkative colleague just comes over and starts unloading or sharing gossip that we’re least interested in.
Are we good listeners? Yes. But do we want to interact with your story? Not necessarily.
We prefer to be quiet if we have nothing meaningful to say. Besides, it feels very strange when someone just jumps us into conversations we are unprepared for. We might be in the middle of some urgent work and want to shun the small talk.
3. Hugging Acquaintances
Introverts don’t just need space mentally, but also physically, which means that they are non-huggers. If it’s family or a good friend, we are comfortable and even enjoy hugging them. But otherwise, we prefer less intimate forms of greeting.
We wish others knew and respected our boundaries. It’s beyond us how people give squishy hugs to acquaintances anytime, anywhere!
4. Obsessed With Being Popular
Our extroverted culture pushes us to be more popular, to the point where most people are obsessed with getting more attention. They dress, speak and carry themselves in a manner that grabs attention. This feels very strange to an introvert because they never want to purposely draw more attention and usually dislike being in the spotlight.
Being the center of attention is not something they are comfortable with. However, this in no way implies that they are afraid to be up on stage for something important. It’s just that they are driven by completely different things, wanting to be more popular isn’t one of them.
Related: 9 Things That Make An Introvert Happy
5. Having Too Many Roommates
“The house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone.” – Kevin, Home Alone
Kevin’s words pretty much sum up our thoughts on having roommates. Interactions with the world are draining enough. Coming back home to find a house full of people you need to converse with is just too much.
6. Out Of The Blue Phone Calls
Usually, we are in a different zone or daydreaming, or just focusing all our energies on what we’re doing at the moment. Phone calls at random hours of the day just to “catch up”, because they are bored or have some free time, feels like a nightmare to us, to be honest.
Introverts need mental preparation before social interactions. So they screen all their calls. They prefer texts over phone calls any day, so they can reply in their own time without seeming rude. Also, it’s easier for us to express ourselves in writing rather than in verbal conversations.
7. How People Enjoy Small Talks
If we want to know you well, we would be more than happy to have a deep, meaningful, and intimate conversation with you over a cup of coffee. There has to be a strong motivation urging us to have a conversation with someone, like discussing business/work, or getting to know our partners better.
Talking just for the sake of killing the silence is not at all appealing to us. People usually engage in small talks to avoid awkward silences. But here’s the thing- silence never makes us feel awkward, rather shallow conversations do.
8. Socializing Just Because There’s Nothing Better To Do
It amazes me how some of my friends dread the idea of spending Friday/Saturday night at home. They associate homely weekends with becoming “old” and “boring” and drag themselves to a social event just for the sake of it.
What’s the point in spending your precious time with people you don’t know well or particularly like?
The entire week, we look forward to spending some me-time, when we can finally forget about the world and focus on the self– hobbies, thoughts and emotions, and personal growth. Honestly, Netflix and Chill sound cooler to me than socializing and networking with random people.
Related: 100 Introvert Quotes That’ll Make You Fall In Love With Your Me TIME
9. “Fun” Parties
Introverts don’t understand how noisy, crazy parties can be “fun” or “energizing” for anyone. If anything, they are exhausting.
No, we aren’t too snobbish to have fun with others. There’s a scientific reason behind why introverts find social interactions so hard. Introverts are very sensitive to external stimuli and easily get overstimulated, resulting in an “introvert hangover”, which leaves them feeling foggy and wrung out.
Also, dancing to loud music without a care in the world doesn’t come to us naturally. Next time you’re at a party and spot a person who says nothing and just observes everything, don’t go and talk to them. Leave them be.
10. Soaking Up The Spotlight
Some people thrive in the spotlight. They feel motivated to show off their talents and crack jokes and interact with the audience.
Introverts prefer to share their ideas from the background. However, shying away from the spotlight doesn’t mean introverts aren’t good at public speaking or leadership positions. Many celebrities, like Emma Watson, identify as introverts. A large percentage of CEOs identify as introverts.
It’s just that the spotlight and the crowds don’t make introverts feel particularly excited and energetic. They don’t revel in the spotlight and enjoy drawing attention to them in the same way extroverts do.
11. Choosing The Company Of Random Humans Instead Of Cute Pets
It is no secret that introverted people love the company of animal friends. They might have the demeanor of a stoic, but deep down they are needy for love and comfort, which pets provide abundantly, without expectations. While human interactions involve expressing through words, something that can drain introverts completely, pets replenish their energy and offer long-term, valuable companionship.
On the rare occasion that I do go out, I always suggest cafes with a pets theme, where you get to play with furry friends. But my extroverted friends prefer places with “good crowds”. I wonder why…
Related: Why Introverts Feel So Closely Connected With Animals
12. Labelling Introversion As “Shy” And “Antisocial” Behavior
It feels so wrong to be judged for being your natural and unadulterated self. Quietness shouldn’t be mistaken for shyness. Introverts aren’t timid or lacking in self-confidence. We have our own opinions and aren’t afraid to express ourselves. It’s just that we do things differently.
Neither are we antisocial. In fact, we are very social with selective people. In general, introverts prefer listening and observing, and only speak when they have something valuable to say that can help them.
So, now you know how introverts think and the things that don’t make sense to them. Do you identify with these signs? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
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