A new study suggests that we undervalue the bonding and enjoyment we get from hearing someoneโs voice. Phone calls are better than texting as there is something about the voice, in particular, that increases intimacy.
Like most people, Iโve been doing a lot of texting with friends and family lately. COVID-19 (and the physical separation it necessitates) has made socializing in person very limited, which means Iโve had to work harder than ever to keep my relationships strong and healthy.
But aย new studyย suggests that if thatโs my aim, texting may not be enough. To stay close at a time when we all need companionship and support, weโd be better off making phone calls or setting up a video callโdoing something where we can actually hear another personโs voice.
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Phone calls versus email
In the study, participants imagined having a conversation with a friend they hadnโt been in touch with for at least two years. They predicted how awkward or enjoyable it would be and how close theyโd feel if they connected by phone calls versus email. They also said which medium theyโdย preferย to use.
Then, participants were randomly assigned to connect with their old friends via phone calls or email and to report back on the experience. Though most people anticipated talking by phone would be more uncomfortable for them, those who spoke on the phone were happier with the exchange, felt closer to the other person, and felt no more uncomfortable than those whoโd emailedโeven if theyโd said they preferred to email, not call.
โWeย thinkย itโs going to be awkward to talk to somebody, but that just turns out not to be the case,โ says lead author Amit Kumar. โInstead . . . people form significantly stronger bonds when theyโre talking on the phone than when communicating over email.โ
This finding also held true for people conversing with someone they didnโt know at all, according to another part of the study.
Participants were told theyโd be using voice chat, video chat, or text chat to get to know a stranger. As in the previous experiment, they were asked to predict what the experience would be like and how close they might become to the person. Then, they were paired with a stranger to do aย โfast friendsโ exercise, asking and answering a series of increasingly personal questions, like โWhat would constitute the โperfectโ day for you?โ and โWhat is one of the more embarrassing moments in your life?โ
Overall, those assigned to voice chat or video chat expected conversations to be more awkward and not bring any more closeness than those assigned to text-chat. But they were wrong: Being able to hear peopleโs voices made them feel significantly closer to the stranger and was no more awkward than text-chatting.
Even though video chatting might seem better than audio alone (because people could see each otherโs faces), it didnโt seem to matterโthe two methods had similar results.
The power of the voice
These experiments suggest thereโs something about the voice, in particular, that increases intimacy.
โThere are linguistic cues that come through someoneโs voice that suggest a feeling and thinking mind,โ says Kumar. โAnd since connecting with somebody means getting a little closer to their mind, voice-based communication makes that easier or more likely.โ
He points to other research that also emphasizes the importance of voice in our communication. For example, people asked to evaluate a potential job applicantย foundย the applicant to be more thoughtful, intelligent, and competent if theyโd heard rather than read the personโs job pitch. Similar to Kumarโs study, adding a video to the pitch was no more impactful than hearing the pitch without one.
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In another study, people who listened to someone express a political viewpoint that they disagreed with were less likely to dehumanize that person than people who simply read the transcript of their argument. This suggests that talking to people from different political parties (rather than texting or responding to them on Facebook) might help bridge divides.
One reason for this is that our voicesย convey a myriad of emotions, which helps us understand one another better and feel more empathic. In fact, at leastย one studyย found that voice-only communications like phone calls may be superior to those that include video because they help people read othersโ emotions more accurately.
Although it might seem trivial, the way we choose to communicate matters. We shouldnโt let fears of awkwardness lead to less promising interactions, says Kumar.
โPeople can sometimes be relatively insensitive to the effect of their communication media on their experience,โ says Kumar. โBut if their goal is to become closer to someone, theyโd be smarter to pay attention to that.โ
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Texting can be useful if you need to just pass on a quick message or set up a time to talk with someone, he adds. But, he says, if you want stronger social connectionsโand theย happinessย and well-being that come with thoseโ phone calls may be the better way to reach out, especially during this time when itโs hard to be close to those we care about.
โWeโre living in a time when loneliness is an increasing concern, and people need to know what to do about it,โ says Kumar. โWhen it comes to maintaining and building the social relationships that are so integral to well-being, folks would be wise to connect with others using their voicesโby talking rather than typing.โ
What would you prefer phone calls or texting?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Written by: Jill Suttie This article originally appeared onย Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeleyโsย Greater Good Science Center.โ Republished with permission.
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