and when they come back.. please don’t take them back.
I wrote a book in 2017 and on one page it said, “They always come back.” I am still a firm believer in that. Some come back because they miss the past and wonder if you’d answer. Some realize the mistake they made and want to make it right.
Some feel such guilt for how it ended, they only come back to clean their slate and disappear again. And some come back for good.
And there’s no telling when someone will return or why.
But I’ve always been a firm believer that if you treated someone well and at least tried to handle it with grace they are bound to find their way back to you.
So when they come back I ask you to remember a few things.
- How hard you cried during that final conversation.
- How they broke trust which binds every relationship.
- How difficult that conversation was to sit there and listen to.
- How confused you felt in that moment as tears welled up in your eyes.
Related: Why Staying Friends With An Ex Is An Extremely Bad Idea Says Science
But most of all I don’t want you to forget how easily they left without looking back.
I want you to remember, how hard it was to sleep and eat and function during those first few days that turned to weeks that turned to months.
I want you to remember, the friends and family that were there picking you up at your worst and how their heart broke too.
I want you to remember, how long you stared at your phone hoping it would ring. Only it didn’t.
I want you to remember, how difficult dating even was again after them because you gave your heart away so easily because you thought you could.
I want you to remember, those really dark nights no one knows about and the thoughts that plagued your mind.
The insecurities. The doubts. The uncertainty. The pain you got used to.
I don’t say this to hold a grudge or to remain angry. Because I also want you to remember other parts too.
How you had to pick yourself up again.
How you had to be strong when you felt so weak.
How you chose to love despite an example of love countering its meaning.
How you had to forgive even when the words sorry were mute.
How you had to learn to love yourself again.
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram and Facebook.
Written by Kirsten Corley Originally appeared in Thought Catalog
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