Those of us who have been raised with religious backgrounds have often been taught that sexuality and spirituality are opposing forces, that you cannot be virtuous if you have sex because sex is a “sin” or is “unspiritual.”
Prior to dogmatic ideologies, sexuality was respected for thousands of years as a sacred expression of nature’s life force and the mystery of creation.
Although I’ve written about the value of sexual Transmutation or sexual abstinence in the past, I want to make it very clear in this article that sex can also work as a catalyst for cultivating spiritual well-being.
To lead a spiritual life you need to embrace and respect your sexuality just as much as any other part of your nature.
Although sex has been linked to many dirty and “perverse” ideas, the act of lovemaking can truly be something sacred and profound.
How to deal with sexual guilt and shame?
Sexuality is a taboo topic in our society because it is one of those primal forces which we consciously or unconsciously feel powerless to control.
Deep down, we sense that it is connected to that unknown universal source of energy from which we came from and continue to exist within.
The feeling of shame is one of the biggest obstacles most of us face in learning to embrace our sexuality.
In a culture that has infected us with the notions of virtue and shame; where a murder scene on television is more “viewer-friendly” than a lovemaking one; where women were once thought of as incapable of experiencing an orgasm, it becomes apparent how difficult it is to openly accept and acknowledge this life force that exists within us.
Shame is an emotion that we’re taught by our families and communities.
Since a very young age we’re taught what we “should and shouldn’t feel bad about,” and as a result of this, we develop the capacity to experience guilt.
Through guilt we begin rejecting sacred aspects of ourselves and repressing them deep into our Shadow Selves; our sexual desires, quirks, attractions, and fantasies.
I’ve even seen some people deny their sexuality, dismissing it as a “lower physical instinct/vibration” or claiming to “rise above it” as if there is a division between “lower” physical cravings and “higher” spiritual functions when we are seeking wholeness.
Sex forms the base notes of your Spirit’s musical melody. Of course, you are more than solely a sexual being: your sexuality doesn’t define you, but it is a part of you.
But it’s by denying it as a part of you that you create blockages of energy within your body that perpetuates the fragmentation of your soul, keeping you incomplete and restricted instead of expanded and whole.
Ironically, it is the sexual orgasm that gives us a taste of soulful expansion, of transcending our limited selves, and feeling boundless for the first time in our entire lives (if only a momentary glimpse).
Spiritual Sex: 3 Types Of Divine Union
The powerful thing about sexual energy is that it’s one of the few instincts within us that can rarely be completely “civilized.”
If you are tired at home from work and a friend offers you to go out to watch a movie you may pass on the offer.
But if you were to meet an attractive person instead who was to make him/herself available to you, it would arouse a deep energy within you that you weren’t aware existed.
Any type of ecstatic experience – like sex – is an ideal starting point to begin cultivating spiritual moments of “no-mind” and bringing them naturally into our daily lives.
In my experience, there are three main types of sex that you can benefit from:
1. The Alert Union
Most first time sexual experiences with partners fall into this type of union.
When we make ourselves vulnerable, intimate, exposed and “work” toward that mutually pleasurable moment of bliss, our conscious awareness becomes heightened by the novelty of exploring the other person’s body.
This union is not so much a mindful awareness but an alert awareness that instinctively takes over.
Our feelings of vulnerability and excitement make our natural adrenaline mechanism stimulate alertness making the experience much more primal than spiritual.