What Is Something A Narcissist Would Never Say? 6 Things A Narcissistic Partner May Never Say

 / 

,

Ever wondered what is something a narcissist would never say? In this article, weโ€™re diving into six statements that are about as rare as a unicorn sighting in the vocabulary of a narcissist. This will also offer a glimpse regarding how does a narcissist behave in a relationship. So, come on, letโ€™s explore all the things a narcissistic partner may never say in a relationship.

KEY POINTS

  • A partnerโ€™s low emotional intelligence can impact your sense of self.
  • A robustly and rigidly defensive partner may lack the emotional capacity to relate in healthy ways.
  • Narcissistic partners rarely say things like โ€œWhat I did was insensitive and I apologize,โ€ or โ€œI would be mad too.โ€

The constant absence of six sentiments may indicate a partner has narcissistic tendencies. Their lack of empathy, insight, and ability to self-reflect, be accountable, and partner with you instead of taking control may be evidence of low emotional intelligence.

An explanation of how these deficiencies impact you may help you evaluate the emotional safety of the relationship.

Related: What I Learned From Living With A Narcissist

What Is Something A Narcissist Would Never Say? 6 Things A Narcissistic Partner May Never Say

1. โ€œI hurt your feelings, and that is not okay.โ€

Often, a narcissist is annoyed and indignant when their partner communicates a feeling that they do not appreciate. This may be most evident when the partner attempts to address an issue with the narcissist, which involves the narcissist doing or saying something hurtful.

Instead of conveying empathy, as in the statement above, they tend to dodge accountability and either shame the partner, dismiss the partner or withdraw their affection to punish the partner passively aggressively.

Owning a hurtful action in the moment is rare for narcissists because they are typically robustly defensive and resist โ€œlooking in the mirror.โ€

However, after several days or weeks pass, the narcissist may try to take responsibility for their selfish act but eventually minimize or subtly justify the transgression.

In place of authentic and heartfelt introspection during the course of the interaction, it can take days and weeks for the narcissist to grasp an understanding of their emotional mistreatment, and even then, they may not grasp the negative impact their actions had on you.

What is something a narcissist would never say?

2. โ€œYou have every right to be upset.โ€

In a relationship, a narcissist often has difficulties honoring your feelings when they feel differently than you; thus, they lack empathy. Empathy requires a person to access the deep and uncomfortable emotions that allow them to momentarily resonate with a partnerโ€™s emotional discomfort in order to truly understand.

This allows the partner to feel less alone in their predicament and connected to a loved one who gets it. Feeling understood and close to someone in emotional distress is usually comforting and can speed up the healing process.

A narcissist may be too fragile to put themselves in another personโ€™s shoes because it is difficult and taxes a waning sense of self. Providing empathy requires a person have โ€œbroad emotional shoulders.โ€

A narcissist usually has low emotional intelligence and thus prefers to be sympathetic because they escape the brief hardship empathy requires. Instead, they would rather be the hero. Sympathizing allows them to emotionally distance themselves from the pain by pitying you.

Next, they usually take a position of authority and tell you how to fix the problem or offer to swoop in and โ€œsave the day.โ€ Either way, they use your most painful moments as an opportunity to fluff up their ego.

Related: Is Your Partner a Narcissist? 50 Key Signs You Need To Know

3. โ€œIโ€™m glad you told me that bothered youโ€“Iโ€™ll try to be more considerate.โ€

Addressing an issue with a narcissist frequently leads to an epic battle. Their refusal to consider your perspective if it differs can be maddening. Frustrated and agitated, you may waste a lot of time and energy attempting to get the narcissist to understand where you are coming from.

Unfortunately, their inability to perspective-take in the context of an interpersonal relationship often prevents them from owning even small missteps in the relationship.

In addition, the narcissist may unfairly frame your attempt to address an issue with them as โ€œaggressiveโ€ or โ€œantagonistic.โ€ They may immediately position themselves as the victim in the interaction and you as the โ€œabusive party.โ€ They often convince you and many others that you are unfairly persecuting them.

In addition, a narcissist may take this as an opportunity to project their tendencies onto you. Using deflection and then projection, they ignore your viewpoint and accuse you of doing what they actually did.

For example, when you confront them about a lie they told you, they twist the narrative and call you a โ€œliar.โ€ Due to their extreme defensiveness, they are typically unable to self-reflect, so it is unlikely that they will graciously accept the feedback and use it for permanent growth and change.

4. โ€œWhat I did was insensitiveโ€“I apologize.โ€

Narcissists usually have a distorted self-image. They see themselves as innocent, at all times, and thus are rarely able to take responsibility for an insensitive or inconsiderate action or comment. Instead, they accuse you of being โ€œpicky, harsh, overly critical, or impossible to please.โ€

They tend to excuse their selfish or disrespectful behaviour as justified in response to your โ€œunfair criticisms.โ€ The unwavering denial that they have done something wrong prevents them from authentically admitting fault in a relationship.

The exception, of course, is when you are fed up and ready to end things. At this point the narcissist may issue a general apology for past behaviours, however, they often minimize and justify their wrongdoings.

The evidence of their insincerity is the continual repetition of hurtful behaviour in the future. They lack genuine empathy, remorse, and insight, so the apology is simply lip service in order to get out of โ€œhot water.โ€ This type of partner rarely apologizes when it matters the most.

Related: 5 Reasons Your Narcissistic Mate Deflates Your Happiness

5. โ€œI would be mad too.โ€

One of the tell-tale signs of narcissism is a lack of empathy. A narcissist shames and dismisses you for identifying a feeling that they do not care to hear. The expectation is that you feel the same way about the relationship as they do.

If you are mad, they react angrily in response to your anger. If you dare to express a feeling that is incongruent with how they feel, they may passive-aggressively punish you by withdrawing their love and affection.

In order to avoid being emotionally abandoned, you may find yourself censoring your feelings because you are afraid that you will be rejected. A series of these micro-abandonments may cause you to shut down essential aspects of who you are.

Moreover, when a loved one strips you of your basic human right to feel what you feel, it can be dehumanizing. When you are treated as less than human, it may induce anger and pain. These experiences can be traumatizing.

Desperate to be heard, respected, and understood, and deeply disappointed when you are not, may result in feelings of loneliness and shame.

What is something a narcissist would never say?

6. โ€œHow can I help?โ€

More often than not, a narcissist truly believes they know best. Unable to perspective take, they firmly believe there is one right way, and it is their way.

Because of this unilateral and egocentric viewpoint, they tend to tell their partner what to doโ€“a lot. Because the narcissist believes they know everything, they demand that you follow their advice.

Also, narcissists tend to enjoy being the hero, so they like to save and rescue. In place of following your lead about how they can best support you, they may take over and grab control.

You may be grateful for the help, but it may also strip you of your own self-efficacy and create dependence on the narcissist. A loss of confidence in your own competence may follow.

Alternatively, a partner who asks for guidance on how to support you best may be someone who has faith in your ability to solve problems.

Taking responsibility for hurtful behaviour in the moment is rare for a narcissist because they lack the ability to introspect. Offering empathy is also uncommon for them, as they prefer to use your hardship as an opportunity to fuel their ego by either being the โ€œexpertโ€ or by playing the โ€œhero.โ€

In addition, considering your feedback is almost impossible for a narcissist due to their immediate and hefty defensiveness. An apology may only be issued when their back is against the wall, and taking over in place of asking you what you need may also be a sign.

Related: How To Live With A Narcissistic Partner And Take Your Power Back

For these reasons, a narcissistic partner may fail to respond in ways that preserve the closeness in a relationship.

Want to know more about how does a narcissist behave in a relationship? Check this video out below!


Written By Erin Leonard
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
how does a narcissist behave in a relationship

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream โ€˜Stay Away!โ€™

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These arenโ€™t just common personality flaws โ€“ these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. Weโ€™ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 9 Ways to Flip the Script

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

So, youโ€™re ready to learn how to make a narcissist miserable? Letโ€™s be real โ€“ dealing with one can feel like youโ€™re stuck in a never-ending soap opera, where theyโ€™re the star, and youโ€™re theโ€ฆ well, supporting character.

But guess what? You donโ€™t have to play along! Narcissists live off attention, praise, and control, so what if you start flipping the script?

The goal here isnโ€™t revenge but taking back your power. Today we are going to talk about how to hurt a narcissist where it hurts, and what to say to a narcissist to make them feel bad.

Related: Tired of Ent

Up Next

Tired of Entitled People? 8 Clever Ways to Keep Your Cool

Ways to Keep Your Cool

Entitled peopleโ€”theyโ€™re everywhere, and dealing with them can be downright draining. Whether itโ€™s at work, among friends, or even family, you may find yourself constantly bumping into people who seem to think the world revolves around them.

But handling them without losing your cool? Thatโ€™s the real trick. From understanding the entitlement mentality to recognizing the signs of an entitled person and learning how to deal with entitled people, this guide will help you navigate these tricky interactions without letting frustration take over.

Letโ€™s dive in and uncover some clever, calming strategies for managing the entitled in your life.

First, let’s try to understand what it means to have a sense of entitlement.

Up Next

Why Is Narcissism On The Rise? The Shocking Connection to the Wetiko Mindset!

Why Is Narcissism On The Rise Wetiko

Why is narcissism on the rise? It seems like everywhere we look, we find more people focused on themselves, seeking constant admiration, and lacking empathy.

While many chalk it up to social media or a โ€œme-firstโ€ culture, thereโ€™s an ancient concept that might hold deeper answers: the Wetiko mindset.

Rooted in Indigenous teachings, Wetiko represents a mindset of self-centeredness, greed, and disconnection, which eerily aligns with modern narcissism.

By exploring this concept, we can uncover why there’s a rise in narcissism and how we can address it. Read on to know more about this mindset and what it means.

Related:

Up Next

Weaponized Incompetence: 7 Ways Narcissists Manipulate You With This Stealthy Trick

Weaponized Incompetence Narcissists Manipulate You

“Weaponized incompetence” might sound like a complex term, but you’ve probably experienced it at some point. Imagine dealing with someone who magically โ€œforgetsโ€ how to do something just to avoid doing it, leaving you with all the work.

This manipulative trick is often used by narcissists to get out of responsibilities while making you feel overly critical or even guilty. In relationships, whether personal or professional, itโ€™s a stealthy tactic that can leave you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Today, we are going to talk about what is weaponized incompetence, the signs of weaponized incompetence and how to deal with weaponized incompetence. So, ready to know more about this?

Let’s start with what is weaponized incompetence.

Up Next

Are You The Scapegoat In A Narcissistic Family? 8 Scapegoat Roles

Being the scapegoat of a narcissistic family is tough and confusing. You might feel like you are always the problem, no matter what you do. But did you know there are actually different types of family scapegoats? Yup, there are 8 distinct kinds, each with itโ€™s own unique challenges.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

But, who is a scapegoat really? When it comes a narcis