What Is Reactive Abuse

Even good people have their limits. Narcissists overstep boundaries time and time again. They will push and push until you respond and then they’ll blame you for over-reacting or for being abusive. The real abuser now has all the evidence they need. This indicates reactive abuse.

Unfortunately, their constant needling, provocative words or acts that have led to a reaction from you, are often not seen or heard by anyone else but your response is often witnessed by every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

The aim of an abuser is often to make you look bad and themselves look good.  They have achieved what they set out to do.  You have been manipulated into reacting to their abuse.  That’s what people witnessed, not their endless baiting and goading.  When the narcissist tells everyone their tales of woe in their premeditated smear campaign, it is you who will look like the guilty party and not them.  You’ve played into their hands and they now have everyone’s sympathy because they are the true victim of your abuse and instability.

Read What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Regrettably, the real victim in these scenarios, often believes that they have acted badly and blames themselves for over-reacting.  They have often been told that they overreact, they’re too sensitive and in time, they start to believe it.

Sadly, once these seeds have been sown in the minds of bystanders, their mindsets are very difficult, if not impossible to shift.  They saw your behaviour with their own eyes and there’s very little you can do to swing their train of thought in your favour.  People are very quick to judge without knowing the full facts.

The true casualty is regularly wracked with guilt at their own behaviour.  However, the narcissistic personality, never admits to their faults, will feel no remorse for pushing you over the edge.

Read 8 Ways The Narcissist Evades When Questioned

If someone in your life continuously pushes your buttons to hurt you and get some sort of reaction from you, reassess your reasons for keeping this person in your circle.  Don’t waste your life trying to fix someone else. There are some people who just can’t be fixed.  Don’t waste your life waiting for change that will never come. 

Remove toxic people from your life and never, ever feel guilty for doing so.



Originally appeared on NarcissisticandEmotionalAbuse.co.uk
Written by Anne McCrea
Printed with permission from the author
Reactive Abuse
reactive abuse Pin

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Let’s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream ‘Stay Away!’

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These aren’t just common personality flaws – these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. We’ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

What Is Child Abuse? Recognizing The Warning Signs

Child abuse and neglect is a very sensitive subject that needs to be handled with care.

One can’t really associate a state like this with just bruises. There is emotional, as well as physical exploitation. Also, for a little kid to heal or recover from it, the earlier one spots the signs of it, the better it is.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or it’s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, we’re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults – those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

KEY POINTS

Adult temp

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. It’s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Maybe it was the feeling that something’s missing from your childhood, but you cou

Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are yo