7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

 / 

,
Different Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship Or Love

Ever wondered how to deepen your bond with your partner? Learning these 7 different types of intimacy in a relationship that can bring you closer in meaningful ways. Try it out now!

Intimacy is important, but how do we cultivate it?

KEY POINTS

  • Intimacy is important to the health and longevity of most romantic relationships.
  • Sexual intimacy relies on self-disclosure and empathic listening.
  • Intimacy includes physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, humor, aesthetic, and future-oriented sources.
types of intimacy
7 Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship

Weโ€™ve all heard that intimacy is central to the health of most long-term romantic relationships. But what is it exactly? And how do we cultivate more of it?

Researchers have found that in the context of sex, intimacy consists of two core elements: self-disclosure and empathy. Partners need to feel comfortable enough with each other to tolerate the vulnerability that comes with being honest about your wants, needs, desires, and fantasies. They must also trust that their partner will respond with openness and empathy rather than ridicule or rejection.

This dynamic of opening up, sharing, listening, and responding empathetically is powerful. It creates a secure environment that invites exploration and a willingness to experiment despite the risk of failure. Intimacy in this context allows partners to relax, be present, and fully enjoy the sexual experience.

Although most people equate the word intimacy with sex, the truth is that many other types of intimacy offer similar opportunities for openness, vulnerability, listening, and connection. Fortunately, all of them interconnect; fostering intimacy in one area of your relationship makes it easier to create intimacy in others.

7 Different Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship

Below are 7 types of intimacy that can be fostered in any long-term romantic relationship:

1. Physical intimacy:

Research shows affectionate touch can powerfully convey positive feelings toward a romantic partner. Yes, sex is important, but physical intimacy isnโ€™t just about what happens between the sheets. It includes all types of nonsexual touch, too, including cuddling, hugging, kissing, and even just snuggling next to each other on the couch.

When couples only engage in physical affection immediately before or during sex, they risk turning the experience into one that feels transactional and devoid of pleasure.

2. Emotional intimacy:

Thereโ€™s a reason why being a good listener can be a huge turn-on. Sharing your feelings and then listening and responding to those of your partner helps both partners feel safe disclosing important aspects of themselves that donโ€™t get shared with everyone.

The power of this effect was even demonstrated in a famous study, where researchers made strangers in a lab develop romantic feelings for each other simply by having them stare into each otherโ€™s eyes and ask successively deeper and personal questions. The study showed that romantic attraction blooms when people take turns revealing their inner emotional world and listening to each other.

3. Intellectual intimacy:

Engaging in long conversations where opinions get shared and ideas and beliefs are exchanged invites intimacy by building respect and admiration. When partners listen and appreciate each otherโ€™s opinions over things like current events, books, or causes they feel strongly about, it creates a sense of feeling valued or special, and with that comes trust.

Some peopleโ€™s romantic feelings for a person are almost solely determined by the quality of these conversations, causing them to identify with a sexual orientation called sapiosexual.

4. Spiritual intimacy:

This type of intimacy might include a connection experienced through shared faith, but it by no means depends on being religious. Spiritual intimacy can refer to feeling safe discussing your shared worldview and values. It also includes your sense of closeness to another over similar life goalsโ€”like how you plan to raise children or whatโ€™s important to you in a career.

5. Aesthetic intimacy:

If youโ€™ve ever felt more connected to a partner after taking in a beautiful view, savoring an elegant meal, admiring a magnificent painting, or gushing about a mutually enjoyed book, you have experienced aesthetic intimacy. When our partner enjoys and admires what we do, it helps us feel understood and similar.

6. Humor:

When someone laughs at our jokes or finds the same thing funny, it makes us feel like we view the world similarly, including all its absurdities. This doesnโ€™t mean you must laugh at every moment to enjoy an intimate relationship.

And, obviously, when one partner jokes or uses sarcasm at the otherโ€™s expense, that can be highly destructive to the relationship. But when partners find the same things ridiculous or comical, humor is a shared language that brings people together.

7. Future-oriented intimacy:

When couples talk and dream about their future together, it signals a sense of commitment and shared vision for whatโ€™s to come. These conversations can have a wide range. A newly dating couple might connect over their joint excitement for an upcoming party they plan to attend.

A longer-term couple might bond over fantasizing about the house or children they someday hope to have. Future-oriented intimacy is so potent that it can even be used as a manipulation tactic, such as when one partner pretends to be more excited about their future than they truly are. Social media even has a term for this: โ€œfuture faking.โ€

types of intimacy
Different Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship

There are numerous ways to build intimacy in a relationship, all of which encourage creating an environment where partners feel safe enough to tolerate the vulnerability of closeness and authenticity. Relationships vary in the extent to which they demonstrate each of the above intimacy types.

Thatโ€™s perfectly normal and healthy! A good strategy for strengthening your relationship, however, could be to identify the areas of intimacy where you arenโ€™t as strong so that you can foster more closeness within them.

These were some of the different types of intimacy that should be present in a relationship. Which ones do you have? Tell us in the comments!

To follow Dr. McNicholsโ€™ work, follow her on Instagram and Tik Tok at @Nicole_TheSexProfessor.


Written by Nicole K. McNichols Ph.D.
Originally appeared on: Psychology Today

types of intimacy
7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why She’s the Best Girlfriend You’ll Ever Have

Dating A Tomboy? Amazing Reasons You Have The Best Partner

When it comes to love, dating and relationships, dating a tomboy is an experience like no other. Tomboys are known to always defy traditional gender norms, bringing a fresh perspective to the table. They are different but good different.

Tomboys have so many amazing qualities, but most of the time, they are so misunderstood. No, they are not trying to be like men. No, they are not confused about their sexual orientation. That’s just how they are. There are so many advantages of dating a tomboy, and today we are going to talk about exactly that.

Weโ€™re going to reveal the 10 surprising perks of dating a tomboy that you probably never expected. So, are you ready to discover what it’s like dating a tomboy, and she might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

Up Next

Why Are We Attracted To Narcissists? The Allure of Narcissistic Men

Why Are We Attracted To Narcissists? Shocking Reasons Why!

Why do we often find ourselves attracted to narcissists? Whether it’s being drawn or attracted to narcissistic men, or wondering why are narcissists so attractive, many of us end up in a relationship with one, leaving us questioning our choices. Let’s explore the reasons why you are attracted to narcissistic men.

Youโ€™ve done all the work. Youโ€™ve been there & done that. Youโ€™ve come to know yourself and your past, but you still canโ€™t resist those delicious grandiose men.

Like an incredibly rich black forest gateaux, they look great, taste amazing, but after a while the glamour palls. After a few weeks of chocolate and cream, you crave a good old fashioned chicken salad with freekeh.

But why, oh why do you still find yourself looking into the refrigerated shelves, staring longi

Up Next

5 Meaningful Habits That Show Empathy In Relationships

Empathy in Relationships: Traits to Recognize

Empathy isnโ€™t just a buzzword in relationships – itโ€™s what makes life better. Empathy in relationships goes beyond mere affection.

If you have ever been with someone who truly gets you and feels exactly as you do, then you understand how much of a privilege this can be. They listen deeply, offer genuine support, and always strive to make you feel understood and valued.

Want to know what distinguishes them? Letโ€™s explore five things empathic people can change in a fair way to turn it into an ace. It might give you some ideas for your own romantic affairs!

Do You Have An Empathetic Partner? 5 Habits That Show Empathy in Relationships

Up Next

MBTI Love Language Test: How You Show Love Based On Your Personality Type

MBTI Love Language Test: Types And Their Romantic Side

When it comes to love, we all express it differently, but if you want to find out more about your love style then take this MBTI love language test! Understanding how you show love can deepen your relationships, making you more aware of your strengths and areas for improvement. 

So whether you’re a caring ISFJ or a spontaneous ENFP, this love style quiz will help you discover how your MBTI love language influences the way you connect with potential partners.

So are you ready to unlock the secrets of your love language? Take this how you show love quiz now!

Up Next

11 Spiritual Signs Someone Is Manifesting You In Their Life

Spiritual Signs Someone Is Manifesting You In Their Life

Ever been drawn to someone and donโ€™t know why? Manifestation is a mystical tool that might be used to attract people, opportunities, and situations into your life. Below are some of the spiritual and physical signs someone is manifesting you into their life.

They may be bringing you into their life consciously or unconsciously however, if you know these spiritual signs someone is manifesting you, then it will give you an idea about this person and how they could be affecting your relationship with them.

How To Know If Someone Is Manifesting You? 11 Signs Someone Is Manifesting You

Up Next

How Playfulness Can Transform Your Love Life

Playfulness In A Relationship: Types To Change Your Love

Playfulness in a relationship can spice things up by turning ordinary moments into fun adventures. Let’s learn how to make love, banter, and laughter a big part of love life!

Looking to revive a dying flame? Try the power of play.

KEY POINTS

The four types of relationship playfulness are other-directed, intellectual, whimsical, and lightheartedness.

Other-directed and intellectual are the most highly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

All types of playfulness are related to at least some facet of relationship well-being.

We typica

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages For People With Autism/ADHD

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapmanโ€™s The Five Love Languages, but these languages arenโ€™t designed for neurodiverse individuals โ€“ who express care and affection differently.

Sometimes their loved ones donโ€™t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do. So, letโ€™s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.