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Tips to Heal Anxious Attachment


STOP PEOPLE-PLEASING!  Work with a therapist or get a good book (I recommend “Not Nice” and learn to be happy without needing to make others feel that way. When your happiness is just as important to you as others, you’re free!  

ASK FOR THE THINGS YOU NEED + WANT!  Stuffing our needs and wants down is how Anxious Attachers cope. We keep our needs small (or nonexistent) to make room for pleasing others. Stop! Bravely ask for everything that you want and learn to accept “No.”  

ASK, AND ALSO LEARN TO RESPECT “NO.”  You must speak up about what you want and need but also allow people to say no, or say they can’t help you. At that moment, respect their no, and ask yourself if the relationship serves you in the ways you need. (It may not!)  

LEARN TO HANDLE FEELING REJECTED  We often don’t allow our partners to say no because we can’t handle feeling rejected. We must learn to tolerate no and comfort ourselves. If a partner isn’t allowed to say “No”, they will begin to avoid us.  

LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS  You value and treasure your needs as important. Having a partner who consistently cannot meet them motivates you to find a new partner.

Alphonse Lamartine

Experienced Editor with a demonstrated history of working in the online media industry. Skilled in Content Writing, Content Curation, Proofreading, Social Media, and Editing. You can find me writing mostly about relationship issues at work.View Author posts