Texting Mistakes: 8 Things No One Should Say In A Text

Have you ever sent a text you wished you could take back? Or have you ever received a text that confused you, hurt you, or made you angry? If you have, you may understand how texting can be a risky framework for building relationships.

Face-to-face is where relationships live and thrive, so, as a rule of thumb, try to save the important stuff for face-to-face conversations.

Here are eight specific things to avoid when texting:

1. Complaints.

โ€œI told you not to text me during finals.โ€ or, โ€œYou should be nicer to my parents.โ€ Because your recipient canโ€™t hear your voice, they have no idea just how big a deal this is to you. Does it warrant a breakup? Are you only mildly annoyed? Or are you just playing?

Also read 6 Snapchat Safety Tips To Teach Your Kids

2. Insults.

โ€œI knew I could count on you to be late,โ€ or, โ€œTypical male response.โ€ Insults, like complaints, arenโ€™t any more fun to read than they are to hear, and they can be confusing. Also, you might regret what you said later when youโ€™ve had more time to think about it. When it comes to negativity over texts, just donโ€™t.

Deleting Your Savage Paragraph To Text Back Ok

3. Explanations and apologies.

โ€œI was so tired, I wasnโ€™t thinking straight.โ€ โ€œI thought youโ€™d appreciate having the tickets ahead of time.โ€ Such explanations may be too complex for text. You wonโ€™t do yourself any favors by writing instead of talking. Instead, try, โ€œI owe you an apology. Can we meet tonight?โ€ Then take all the time you need to say it in person.

4. Questions about the other personโ€™s behavior.

โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you text me back yesterday?โ€ or โ€œR u mad at me?โ€ Give the person a chance to explain without relying on their thumbs. Meet face to face, or at least voice to voice, before asking the question.

Also read The โ€œThree Times Ruleโ€ for Starting Difficult Conversations

5. Bombshells.

โ€œI think we should see other people,โ€ or, โ€œThey found a lump.โ€ Even positive big news like, โ€œI think I love you,โ€ is best dropped in person, or at least in real time. Most people dislike getting bombshells via text, and might think less of you for doing it.

arguing over text is the worst way to argue

6. Heavy topics.

Texting wasnโ€™t intended to be a substitute for serious conversations about heavy topics like child custody issues, IRS audits, health problems, etc. Wait for, or create, a face-to-face opportunity to discuss these.

7. Private information.

Credit card numbers, naked photos โ€“ anything you wouldnโ€™t want to see posted all over the Internet โ€“ should not be texted, either. Hackers could gain access to your messages without your knowledge or permission.

8. Secrets.

โ€œJ. doesnโ€™t know that M. and C. are dating behind D. and N.โ€™s backs,โ€ or โ€œBetsy is such a klepto.โ€ As above, always assume your message could end up in front of the wrong pair of eyes. Avoid risk. Just donโ€™t.

Also read 9 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Relationship Alive And Exciting

The Courage Not to Text

No matter how many posts you read about what not to send in a text, you might still end up typing things you shouldnโ€™t. Why does this happen?

Many people are uncertain how to handle difficult conversations in person. Texting offers a feeling of safety and distance: You donโ€™t have to look into the other personโ€™s eyes and figure out how to respond from moment to moment.

If this describes you, it might help you to know that most of us have trouble with difficult conversations. Handling a topic flawlessly is not the point. The point is to show up and be open to floundering around a bit with someone who really matters to you.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.


Written by: Tina Gilbertson
Originally appeared on: Psychology Today
Republished with permission
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